Breathing Methods
by Reikanishy
Summary: Yaoi, lemons. Wufei, and pretty much everyone else, gets kinda weird as Wufei pushes the boundaries of honour, casual friendsship...and indeed good taste...as he panics himself into everybodies arms and beds. Rated M for high mature content. Please see th
1. OxYgEn MaSk

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Breathing Methods

_by Shy Apocalypse_

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**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't sue, lest I sic my lubricated ferret on you. This disclaimer also stands for all other chapters, so I'll do it right. I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I own any part of the company that does. I am not a part of its creation, and I write this for my own devilish amusement. I make absolutely no money off of this.

**Warnings:** Yaoi, male on male action. In other words, this is a homo-erotic centred piece of work. I appreciate it also if you do not steal or copy this writing…without my express permission. To do so with result in horrible, lubricated death. And gumming of your little toe by my toothless little dog. Also OOC, disconnected timeline, harsh language, strong sex scenes and adult themes.

**Pairings:** 2x5, 1x5, 3x5, 4x5.

**Dedicated:** To all the people who make me warm inside. Thanks, guys and girls. Also to Wufei, for being so damn OOC in my little hentai mind…sooo much easier to write.

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Prologue 

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Sometimes I find it hard to breathe.

Oh, there is nothing wrong with my lungs, as far as I can tell. There is so medical explanation for this phenomenon, though I dearly wish there was, in the dead of night. When I try to cling to sleeps sweet embrace my chest collapses, and the air trying to fill my lungs ends up strangling me instead.

I'm not a bitter person. Usually I would delight in finding the cause of an obvious fault, and correcting it as harshly as it needs to be done. I do not do things by halves. I'm sure certain people would disagree with me, but honestly, with this threat of death by slow suffocation hanging over my head, I don't give a damn.

How can one explain a killing fear? For that is what it most certainly is, despite every fibre of my being rushing to deny it. I know what it is, a little of how it's caused, but…I don't want to cure it. Because that means admitting I was wrong, and if there is one thing I hate more than having something wrong with me, it is apologising to somebody for a problem of mine.

It's not sleeping that terrifies me so.

It's the damn bed. And unfortunately, this isn't a bad case of clinophobia…oh no…it's something far, far worse.

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_OxYgEn MaSk_

The First – Duo Maxwell

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He's silent as he slips in behind me, the crisp cotton sheets rustling from his slight movements, and I tightly squeeze my eyes shut, one, because he can't see me doing it, and two, I'm afraid again. I don't want to face this, anymore than he would probably not want to hear about it. There's a small silence, and I swear I can feel eyes resting on the nape of my neck, before a quiet sigh as the lamp is switched off with a slight click.

Rustling again, more violent this time, as he wrestles himself into a comfortable position. Even in the moments before he goes to sleep he's energetic, a fact I'm slightly envious of, but not tonight, with this terror making my mouth run dry and setting my temples pounding. If he knew…if any of them knew…I would be dead. They're soldiers, terrorists, as am I; if I found one of them with the same problem as this, I would get rid of them efficiently, before going about my business once again. That's the way I operate, and despite all of us being so different, I can't help the images popping into my mind. I would shoot and ask questions later. How do I know they won't do it too?

It doesn't help we're being forced to share beds. Security reasons, they tell us. How can sleeping in the same bed with a man that has a trigger finger be safe or security like at all? I'll probably be shot, with or without the divulging of my dirty little secret.

I stiffen as he rolls again, his breath washing in a warm, damp wave over my shoulders before he settles down again, spread across the bed like a rug on a hardwood floor. Gods, I'm in trouble. I have to strangle the whimper rising in my throat, and turn it into a silent sigh, and it warbles slightly as it passes over my lips. I feel him start a little, and I must have made some sound of sort, to trigger that sort of reaction. It must not have been as silent as I thought.

My forehead aches, because my hair is pulled back so tightly. Normally I would take it out before I went to sleep, the routine of brushing a pleasure I can't allow myself when others are so near. I miss the five hundred strokes, the comforting feeling of the teeth dragging through the small snarls, caressing my scalp as it makes my hair lie close to my head, silky and easily manageable. If I don't die before the week is out, my hair's going to be matted anyway. No good will come of this situation.

My eyes are still closed tightly, even though I know I will not get much sleep tonight. Not with another so near, triggering my defences, making my skin crawl, a hideous feeling I would give my life to get rid of. I can't sleep. I can't. How they expect me to operate under conditions like this is beyond me. I hate the thought of another being so near, making me even more vulnerable in an already weak position. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night for nearly a week, and it's already taking it's toll. I'm fine now, I collapsed enough last night so I'm not really that tired at all. But…it's going to get worse, if recent events have anything to do with it.

Gods damn Yuy. That merciless stare, that arrogant posture, as he berated me like I was a child! The fool. It was my fault, yes, that I missed the last page of the document, therefore rendering the mission a failure to all extents. One stupid, insignificant, utterly infuriating scrap of A4 paper that I hate with all of my considerable fury. I got it anyway, but because the deadline was a few minutes over, it wasn't counted a success. Damn his expectations, always making me push myself harder, when I'm stretched so taught I can feel my hold on reality straining. Next thing you know I'll start hallucinating, and take innocent civilians with me on my descent to hell.

I can't hold back my startled sound when he shifts again, and there is a shocked silence for a moment, before a whisper soft apology. I feel my insides burn with shame, and hate myself for my body betraying me so easily. I hate this bed. I hate the fact that he's so close, almost shoulder to shoulder, for the room has only space enough for a bed a little larger than a single and nothing else. This building is torture, the design preposterous, the fact it's so small another thing to add to my list of things I wished never existed. I know it's hard for him too, and I should be more considerate…but damn it, this is too much for me to handle!

It…it is? I mean, it's no surprise considering I can't relax one tiny little bit, but to actually admit it to myself? Well, this is a day to mark down in history. My lips curl up into a small smile at the irony, before I banish it as he moves again. Honestly, is it too much to ask for somebody else to keep still for a few moments? And why the hell am I here anyway? I could have slept outside, on the roof or something, to spare myself this painfully embarrassing experience. I don't have any sleeping gear, but I would probably get more rest sleeping on gravel anyway. Hell, a back alley would be preferable!

But that's a lie, isn't it? Because of my dirty little secret.

And I can feel it, that panic rising like a terrible cloud in my lungs, and it strangles me even as I keep myself silent. I can suddenly feel his body heat pressing against me, so close, so intimate, so…this is torture. If our enemies knew all it takes to destroy me is a cute boy and a small bed, my existence is doomed, and I'm already dead and buried. If they don't kill me first. His very touch, the smallest of pressures on my ankle from his own, is enough to make me tremble inside, my innards melting and liquefying, making me feel sick. I hate this bed. I hate this rising fear, this squeezing as my lungs collapse on themselves. I can't breathe.

No, seriously, I can't breathe!

I sit bolt upright, both my hands flat to my chest, as tortured breathes try to escape my sealed throat, the entire bed shuddering from my sudden violent move. Silk slides under my fingertips, the shirt I always wear suddenly a noose, as the collar tightens around my neck and my eyes screw tight even more, the pressure on my eyes making startling explosions of colour against my retina. No, this is just psychological, you're not being suffocated, it's just your mind telling you this, it's not real! Not. God. Damned. _Real!_

A rasping sound escapes my lips, the demands on my lungs too much for my voice to bear, and I shake my head violently as the boy beside me sits bolt upright, his own breath catching at the fear that reeks, the sweat that's springing up all over my body sharp with it. My hands move up to clutch at my throat, and I don't know why. Perhaps my body is ganging up on me to finally finish me off, sick with the lies and pretences I try to force into it everyday. No…it's just a natural response, trying to relieve the tightening, trying to massage calm into the taught muscles and tendons my neck suddenly hosts.

I'm sick. I'm so fucking sick! I can't even control my own damn body. I flinch violently as a hand reaches out, brushing against my shoulder, and it's jerked away with a hiss from my explosive gasp, as cool fresh air fills me for a moment, before my windpipe shuts itself down again. This is getting beyond ridiculous. If I don't calm down, I _will _suffocate, and everything I've been through…all this pain, all this suffering I've been through in the past two years…it will all be for nothing, and my life will really turn out to be a lie.

That hand brushes my shoulder again, and I can't control myself anymore.

A startled breath explodes through his nose as I crush my lips to his, and it grazes against my cheek as I tilt my head, the force bruising and terrifying…and so God damned right! My chest loosens all at once, and I gasp uselessly as I pull back for a second, opening my eyes and staring into his shocked cobalt, before I snap our heads back together and all he can do is whimper and wriggle.

And…then…

He relaxes against me, lips mirroring my own as they seek to grasp, brushing against each other as I lean into him more forcefully. His hands, not hesitant at all, bruise my shoulders as he pulls me closer, calluses I can feel even through the shirt I suddenly don't want to wear anymore, and not because it had been choking me moments earlier. Gods…this is good. I don't know if he'll kill me once he realises just _who_ he's kissing back, but for the moment, I'm content to die. I'd relish it, even, if he was the one killing me.

I gasp again as his tongue forces my lips apart, prying them open with unexplainable force, sliding into my suddenly lax mouth and wetting the inside of my lips. It's slippery, offensive, and thrilling….I love this too, I'm startled to realise. The bed seems even smaller, but it's not panic inducing this time, just pleasant and welcome in the scheme of suddenly turned events. Our mouths open fully, lips almost vacuumed to each other, and that tongue probes deeper as our breath shunts through our noses, hurried and loud in the silence the room used to contain.

He moans as my lips leave him, as if in disappointment, and he nearly downright _wails_ as I suck on the tongue still inside my mouth, licking it and flicking it with my own, drawing it deeper as my hands rise to grip his waist. His bare flesh is taught beneath my palms, shivering as I slide up and down that tongue in a parody of sucking a cock, and I run the surface of my tongue under his, tasting and exploring, and enjoying every single second of it. My dirty little secret. This growing attraction, to all of them, that makes my blood burn and my senses reel whenever I have to share a bed with them, whenever I'm _near_ them. I wonder if he knows.

He shifts his head forwards, so that we're kissing again, and our tongues battle as our breaths become hurried, faster and faster with every second an eternity as it passes us by. My skin crawls, but with pleasure this time, my belly liquid again with warmth and lust and sex. This is intense. Very intense, and if I wasn't so turned on, I would probably be terrified by the insistence of it. But I don't get much chances for pleasure, and I don't usually let myself go like this, and for the moment I'm allowing it! Because…this is good. Not many things are good in my life.

My hands slide up his bare torso, lingering on the curve of his diaphragm, his skin slick with sweat, and my fingertips bump over his ribs, dip into the slight concave of his belly. It's soft, and flat, tight skin and rippling muscles and so very touchable, and I pet it slightly as he forces my head to the side, so he can plunder my mouth more effectively. I don't have any delusions that he thinks this is another person. The fact that he's touching me so easily, if a little inexperienced, a little unsure of my flat chest and hardened torso, and the encouraging groans he's letting escape him let me know he knows what he's doing. And, amazingly, that turns me on even more.

His tongue flickers upwards, tracing along my teeth, and I have to thank the Gods that I brushed my teeth today, as I hadn't had a chance to the day before, in the grime and muck of the battlefield. It leaves tingling pleasure in its wake as he moves along, tracing against the curves of my gums as his lands linger around my bellybutton, fingertips warm and harsh against my skin, even through the barrier of cloth. Beautiful. Amazing. My hands rise even more, and a strangled gasp escapes into my mouth as I find a hardened nipple, the flesh around tightening in pleasure or pain, I don't know, as I rub against it harshly with my palm. Fingers dig into my collarbone almost cruelly, as his other hand moves even lower, brushing against my quivering abdomen, to where the waist of my shorts begin, trying to edge under.

I'm not even sure if he's conscious of what he's doing. I know I want him, badly, want him so much every fibre aches for it, every blood vessel swelling with the promise of pleasure, but he could just be reacting to the moment. He could just be doing what I want him to do, with no conscious will. These thoughts vanish as he growls, his lips leaving mine as he pulls my shirt up, wanting it off of my body. I pause for a moment, eyes flickering over the planes of his face, and I don't know what I'm searching for, but I think, whatever it is, is there. I let him pull it over my head, instincts rising before I quell them as I'm temporarily disabled, and then it's gone, and his mouth is on mine again. Slick, hungry heat, and I let him fuck my mouth with his tongue again as his hands explore newly discovered territory. I moan as he finds my own nipples, tweaking them, and he sighs into my mouth as he becomes a little bolder, fingertips stroking with sure, deft movements. For being so inexperienced, which I think he is…hell, we both are, really…he's pretty damn good with his hands. And he's an amazing kisser.

My hands drop suddenly, down to his lap, and he squeals as I stroke him through the barrier of his boxers, and I can feel he's half hard, just from kissing. I'm already nearly fully, so it doesn't surprise me much, and the torrid length swells under my touch, rising to meet my hand like a dog being called by its master. I run my hands over it, our tongues tangling again, feeling the blinded bulge as it grows, the featureless bump beneath it, and all the while my skin crawls, because this is so sweet, so good. Rough and swift, no romance or tortured gazes here. This is sex, and lust, pure and simple, and it delights me with its minimalism. He has no soft curves, no sweetly scented skin, no feminine enchantments. He's _male_, and he carries it so damn well, doesn't he? Funny, that I can find humour when my mind is slowly shutting down, a dim red haze filling my brain as he jerks forwards into my waiting hands.

I shudder as an uncertain touch finds me, fingertips and then palms sliding against my own hard cock, becoming more certain and more forceful as I pant into his mouth, edges of cries filling every single breath. While I want nothing more than oblivion, than have my seed spill from my body…preferably where I can see it, because even that makes the pleasure more forceful…this little mutual jerk off won't satisfy me entirely. I don't know how far he wants to go, but I certainly know what I want to do. It's pretty obvious, actually.

I want him to fuck me. I want him inside me. I'm a virgin, but I've watched enough porn to know what kind of object I want to be in a…not a relationship, but a union. I'm definitely a bottom, through and through, and while I may not be a fem, I'm man enough to admit I can submit to somebody else, in this at least. I'm proud enough to say nothing would excite me more than to feel a cock inside of me, scraping me, dulling my own pleasure with pain. I open my eyes as we pull apart slightly, still touching each others cocks, our hips twitching as our eyes meet and then lock.

"I…I don't understand…" His eyes, hazy with pleasure, capture mine, and even though his tone is slightly confused there's definite lust crawling through it. "Is this what you want? Is this why you've been so…uptight, around us?" I lick my lips and nod slightly, because it's the truth, and honesty is a quality I admire in all men. I don't care if I scare him off through the admission, because he values sincerity even more than I do. "_Oh_" he breathes, his eyes widening slightly, before they snap closed as I caress the head of his cock, already seeping fluid slightly, moist against my palm and the cotton of his boxers. I lick my lips again, quelling the sudden desire to taste him, because I want this to be more. I don't want to make him come without him being buried in my ass. No other way would satisfy the dirty little secret.

"You want…me?" I nod, panting as he grips and pulls, squeezing slightly, something he's done to himself before and is trying to mimic against me, because he knows it feels good. And it bloody well does. "You want…you want all of us?" I groan again, harsh against my vocal cords, and nod my head frantically as he squeezes again, beautiful pain swelling with the pleasure. His eyes widen slightly at the admission, before a lusty smirk caresses his lips, slightly swollen and bruised looking from our furious kissing. "Damn, man, you had us all fooled, didn't you."

"As long as you don't mind, I don't give a shit" I growl, squeezing his own cock in a slight reprimand, and he grunts and thrusts into my grip again. "So that's why you go off against women all the time…" My eyes narrow, and I in turn thrust against him, because the contact is amazing, and my belly flames inside, shuddering and juicy seeing as I'm so turned on by the situation. He chuckles, the sound dark and powerful, and my bones turn to jelly at the sound of it, because it's so damn welcome. "And now…what do you want from me? From all of us? What are you looking-" He gasps as I squeeze his sac, gently, before I caress it, because I can, and it feels good. He starts again, tone strained, "What are you looking for? 'Cos I don't want to-"

"I don't want any romantic shit" I pant, because it's true. "I don't want a boyfriend, or boyfriends. I don't want gifts and presents and sweet words. I want lovers, who can get it up, and who can keep it up." His eyes widen even more, and his cock jumps in my hands. Oho. He's obviously excited by something I said. "It's not in my nature to be soft, and cuddly, and tender. This is just about sex. If it turns into something more permanent, it will be brutal, more like comrades and friends than anything else. I don't want to be a sissy wife type. I'm no fucking fem. I just want this."

"So…what does this mean?" He leans forwards, and his lips brush against my ear, my flesh shivering and curling from the moist breaths escaping against my neck. "It means you get an easy lay, with someone you can trust, with none of the bullshit females carry around with them." I smirk into his neck, before I nip at the skin, like velvet against my lips and tongue. "Security is something we all need, and fortunately enough, you'll get it from me…if you want it."

He pulls back, and his eyes flicker as he searches mine. I'm not sure what he's looking for. I don't honestly care. I'm a very selfish person, I suppose, demanding all of this when the others don't have even a clue of my intentions. But he's still touching me, allowing me to caress him, so something must be going right. "It's obvious I can get it up, and keep it up…and so can you. I dunno 'Fei, would you want me as a lover? You seem to hate most of us, most of the time…especially me."

"Yeah" I growl, leaning forwards, shoving my face close to is, forcing him to focus on me entirely. "And that's because I've wanted to do things with you the moment I saw you. I wanted _you_ to fuck _me_. And because it seemed like you had no intentions of doing so, only wanting friendship, it fucking disappointed me." He gasps, surging against me as the admission leave my mouth, eyes shocked and then…then flaring with possessive delight, something I never expected to see from him in a million years. He licks his lips, breath hitching, cobalt eyes dimming as his pupils dilate. Gods, he's fucking sexy like this. "I couldn't breathe tonight, because of the disappointment. Feeling that you would kill me because I want you so badly." I kiss him briefly, bruising pressure again, because that's what he likes and that's what I need. "I want you all so badly it hurts."

He abandons my cock, and a second later I follow his lead, hands exploring each others chests again, to stem the flow that's rising in our pulsating bodies. "How…how do you want us?" he asks breathlessly, eyes never leaving mine as he tweaks my nipples again, pinching and rubbing to soothe the flesh that contracts around them almost painfully tight. This moment…is amazing, because I've wanted it to happen for so long I nearly can't believe it's actually happening. "I want you all inside me…fucking me, making me come from your cocks." He cries out at the admittance, eyes shutting briefly, as if he's dazed, and I pant for a second as the rubbing becomes more pronounced. "I want to feel you all come. I want you all to fill me, fuck me, fuck me hard, to make the pleasure even better…I want that so badly."

"You…you do?" I nod again, the only thing I can do as my heart starts beating wildly, my skin tingling with the words flowing so easily from my lips. Even the sound of the word fuck makes me even harder. "Do…do you want that, Duo? You want to fuck me? Because I would be so happy if you did…I'd be so fucking happy." He shudders, and then nods slowly, eyes deepening to an almost indigo, because of his eclipsing pupils. "I...I do, surprisingly enough. I do want to fuck you. Will you let me?"

"_Yes_" I breathe, and pull back, hands eagerly dropping to my lap, to start to pull off my shorts. His eyes become possessive again, licking his lips as I fumble with the waist, before he skims out of his own. My heart stops, because…his cock flops free, the mushroom like head glimmering with small droplets of precome, and I gaze at it hungrily, taking in the veins of the swollen length, the fine scattered hairs at its base…a jolt surges through my groin, making the space between my legs one shuddering, liquid, heated nerve. I fall back onto my hands as he takes over what I was doing, skimming them off my own body, and we both chuckle a little as my shorts get tangled around my ankles, the situation so….ordinary, in this moment. This breathless moment that terrifies even as it thrills.

"We're really doing this" he murmurs, and there is wonder and amazement in his tone. His eyes flash up to meet mine, and I search for hesitation, or resentment, feeling that he'd been forced into it. I moan as I see none, only burning desire, and this need to possess something…possess me. Gods above and Lords below, I've wanted this for so long I'm not sure what I have to do next. A willing, warm body next to me, cock hard, ready to be used against me. Thrusting inside me, taking me. I move quickly, so he won't see my blush, hanging over the side of my bed as I drag my bag towards me. My ass rises in the air as I dig through it, partly because of balance and partly because I want him to see it. I'm not disappointed; a moment later a gentle hand caresses it, and I have to bite my lip to stifle a scream as it traces the curves, lingering on my tailbone and the shadowed recess that begins there.

Where is it, where is it, where is it…aha! I drag the leather bound book from my bag, pulling the large tome onto my lap as I sit back down, and he sends me a pout…god, that's a fucking sexy expression…as he's forced to let go of my ass. His eyes flicker down to the book, and then widen in astonishment, probably because it's not exactly what he'd been expecting, I suppose. "'Ancient Chinese Poetry'?" he asks, more than a hint of surprise and amusement in his tone, and I smirk as I caress it lovingly. "You should know me by now, Maxwell" I say, a little mockingly, flipping open the cover to reveal cut away pages, the perfect hiding place for the stash of things exposed inside. "Appearances can be deceiving, no?"

He laughs, and my insides warm at the sound. "You…do you know what you have to do?" Slightly startled eyes meet mine as I lick my lips, the lust filling with a tiny thread of fear as I meet his blank gaze. "You have to prepare me, stretch me, you know what I mean?" Realisation flares, and he nods, hands moving forward to press in hot bands around my upper arms, eyes serious. "I won't hurt you, 'Fei. I just forgot for a moment, is all. Sex Ed isn't all it's cracked up to be, on L2." I bite my lip for a moment, searching his eyes for some hint of a lie…I like it rough, I already know that, because I've already explored that avenue of pleasure before. But I don't want to be out of commission for a week, and I don't want this first time to be actually damaging, whatever this invading lust wants. Reason raises its ugly head once again. I finally nod and smile, and he returns it, a little uncertain as I hand him a tube of lubricant. "It's okay" I soothe, for he trembles, albeit briefly. "I'll talk you through it. But fuck, I want it, and I want it bad, so take everything I say with a pinch of salt, alright?"

His eyes widen, and his lips part, staring at me partly in disbelief, and partly in rising…want. Gods, he's beautiful. The faint light from the window, set high in the wall, it bathes him, filling all the shadows his bones create, making him almost luminescent, his slightly sweat slicked skin not quite shimmering. He's all sharp angles and soft planes, not quite as skinny as me but lithe enough to be a creature of grace, if he wanted to be. His braid is somewhat loose, as it always is when he goes to bed, but it's tight enough so that no stray hairs frame is face, leaving his jaw in stark relief. Fucking _gorgeous_. But appearance isn't the only thing that makes him so attractive. He has a quick mind, and a enviable wit; his skills as a pilot beyond compare, same as the rest of us, because we're trained to _be_ beyond compare. If I searched the whole world over I'll never find someone on the same level as me, be it in rank or mind set, and for that, I'm glad. If I only got to have him, I'd be happy for the rest of my life.

"Alright" I say quietly, shifting so that I'm nearly lying down, my hands and crocked elbows the only thing keeping my torso upright. My erection is starting to lag a little, partly because of that sudden case of nerves, but mainly because it isn't being caressed anymore; my cock can get quite sulky, sometimes. But it perks right up when I see his, still so hard and lovely, a little larger than mine but not enough so to be a cause of jealousy. I'm going to be snug around him, tight enough that I'll be able to feel everything, and I lick my lips as that thought fills me, a sudden swamping of need and want that leaves me breathless. "Alright, what you need to do….um….lemme think."

"Fei? You alright?" He says this a little mockingly, a small smile on his face that I pay scant attention to, because I'm riveted to the place between his slightly spread thighs. "Fine" I say distractedly, moving my hand, sinking back a little more as it guides itself to my lap. His breath catches as I stroke gently, still so caught up in the sight of him, and my lips part as my breathing becomes slightly heavier. "Fuck, you look so good…alright, alright. Now…uncap that, spread it across the fingertips of the hand you feel most comfortable using." He swallows hard as he follows my directions, squirting a bit too much out when his hand clenches. Probably because of my combined moan, squeeze, and hip thrust. This feels really good. Oh yeah, the masturbations great, but the expectancy…that's downright beautiful, that is.

"Okay." His voice is a little shaky, but I think it's more from restraint than any kind of fear. He can't keep his eyes off of me; if he wasn't gay before this, he's at least bi from now on, and heading towards full gaydom at a very fast pace. The thought makes me smirk. "How do you want to do this?" I ask softly, and he blinks at me for a moment, slightly affronted. "Face to face, 'Fei. Only way for me. I want to see your face." The honesty in his expression, the way he said those words, as if it _is_ the only option…it makes me feel warm, and I smile again as I nod. "Agreed. But," and at this I infuse seriousness into my features, and he holds my gaze as I raise the hand that had been touching my cock, in a kind of stop gesture. "If this makes you feel weird, or if at anytime you don't want to do this, just say so. I'll understand."

He laughs. "'Fei, ain't I the one that's supposed to say stuff like that to you? No." And with that he shifts so that he can thrust against my hip, his cock warm and leaving a trail of slick heat that quickly cools then dries against my skin, making me gasp. "I bloody want this. And you won't be able to stop me once I get going, so say so now." I quickly shake my head, a little too enthusiastically I think, and he smiles again as he holds up the hand, the fingertips covered in lubricant. "Now what, oh master of sexual deviancy?" I roll my eyes, moving the arm behind me so that I drop fully onto the mattress, the bunched sheet against my back annoying until I kick it partly away. "Now, we get to the fun part." He grins, before it slowly fades as I gently grasp his wrist, lowering it between my spreading legs, canting my hips up slightly as I bend my knees. "If this is gonna gross you out, I can do it myself."

"Actually, I think I like this part" he says, a cheeky grin alighting on his lips once again, though a furnace roars in his eyes, nearly scorching me with the lust rolling off of him in waves. I shiver, pressing against him unconsciously, and I murmur as cool, slicked fingertips press against the stretch of sensitive skin behind my sac, pressing in slightly before moving down. "One finger" I gasp, and he nods as he stretches out next to me, belly pressed into the gap between my hip and breastbone, erection almost laying across my belly. "Tell me what to do" he whispers, nipping at my lips with his own again, and I gasp as I try to make my brain function again.

"Better yet, I'll show you" I whisper back, and I look him straight in the eye as I guide him to my opening, shuddering as the cold tip of one digit circles it haphazardly. His eyes widen, and then slit, and he nods briefly, before leaning in to kiss my jaw line. "Alright….slowly, not too slowly, but….just…here" I gasp, pressing against him so that he slips inside me, slowly at first, and then….almost a jerk, as the small resistance leaves at once, and he's buried in me to the second knuckle. His eyes widen again, a hiss escaping his lips, as my mouth compresses to a thin line, breathless as something seems to squeeze my innards, satisfying pleasure against the invading thrill. "'Fei…?"

"Oh fuck, that's good" I mumble, blinking my eyes lazily as he hesitates, searching me for any kind of discomfort. "Now…in, further. Deeper." He complies with my…almost, but not quite an order, pushing more coldness deep inside…my muscle walls contract around him, trying to force him out, as if my body knows it's wrong to have something going up there…but I've encountered it before, and I know exactly what I have to do to make it relax. I undulate a little, readjusting my position until it disappears, and he gasps as he slips inside more easy, sliding a little in and out, a parody of sex that makes his cock twitch against my stomach. "_Damn_, "Fei" he says, almost admiringly, and I raise an eyebrow as his eyes glimmer with awe. "You're so fucking tight…and warm, and wet. Fuck, you feel good. I can't wait to be inside you."

"Well, thanks" I say, a little sarcastically, and smile to show him I'm kidding. "Now, spread that aroun-_shi-ii-iit­_." He does so before I'm even finished, and I arch off the bed, mouth fully open and scooping in air as my eyes shut tight. I never thought having another person touch you could feel so…_good_. I've done this myself, but I had to work for a while to get anywhere _near_ the level that he's forced me to with the barest of movements. "Oh, _yes_" I murmur, pressing against him. "Two, two now, I can take two." His answer, when it comes, is breathless, "Okay, I am. Tell me if it hurts." I whimper as another is pressed inside, movements now more complex, threatening to make me come before I shove it away. I reach for him, blindly, and grip one of his hands with my own as my other arm encircles his neck. I need this contact, even during this; a bit of reassurance, because, to put it bluntly, I'm in uncharted waters, and the thought makes me a little nervous. Even though I really want him to fuck me. I tell him so, as he continues, sometimes pressing briefly against my prostate, and I listen with delight as his breathing becomes hurried, almost frantic.

Three, invading and twisting, making me wider for him, and I gasp continuously, trying to thrust against him even though there's no chance of that happening. Who would have thought this would transpire? Even though I've dreamed of this for nearly five months now, I never counted it as a possibility. Here we are, me and Duo Maxwell, his fingers buried in my ass as he prepares me for a good, hard fuck. This is fucking fantastic! Unbelievable, surreal, but…oh-so-fucking-good.

"So" I pant, as three digits twirl inside me easily, sweat springing up all over my body and dripping down my temples, "Seen any good movies lately?" He laughs, smiling into my neck before he kisses me, right over my pulse, making my stomach do unbelievable twists and turns. I'm so hard it nearly hurts, and I bite my lip as my hips thrust upwards slowly, uselessly, my arm slipping down from his neck so I can caress his back. I feel the harsh knobs of his spine, the delicate curves of his shoulder blades and ribs, before it slips down further, the small of his back as smooth and as cold as carved stone. Our lips meet again, sloppily, tongues and teeth sliding and meshing against each other, and my hand moves around his body, stroking his hip as he slowly stops inside of me.

"Ready?" he pants, and I start a little, because it felt so good I couldn't tell that I was sufficiently prepared enough for this next part…the main act. "Wait" I say breathlessly, groaning a little as his digits slip from me, and my eyes narrow in pleasure as the fingers that invaded me curl around his cock. Pretty obvious what he means by that action, I think. "I'm clean…of diseases, I mean" I say quickly when he raises his eyebrows, and I blush slightly, defensively. "Me too" he replies, a smirk on his lips, still touching his cock with casual ease, smearing leftover lubricant, though he's trembling nearly continuously now. I've made him wait far too long.

"No condom, then. Brilliant. I've always wanted to feel you coming inside of me." He gasps, eyes slipping closed, and I feel vindicated as his cock twitches, leaping under his touch. I chuck the hollow book down the space beside the bed and the door, and then roll onto my back, signalling with my hands for him to climb up on top of me. He does so with a groan, and my heart rate quickens, my chest heaving as I try to fill my lungs with as much air as possible. Our rising excitement and anticipation clashes against each other, and it's difficult to determine who's the most eager. Me, who's nearly brain dead with lust and want, my cock now hurting because I'm so Gods damned turn on, or him, snarling as he settles between my spread thighs, breath rapid and quick against my collarbone. "Hold on" I growl, my hips rolling underneath his body, and suddenly my legs are nearly above my head, the back of my knees settling comfortably over his shoulders. He raises both eyebrows, impressed, and mutters, "flexible," under his breath. I slap him slightly on his side, in retaliation, and he moans as he kisses my neck again, tongue slick and sliding against my skin.

"You gonna fuck me, or just lay there, giving me a hicky?" I groan, and his eyes open to glare into mine. "Oh, I'm going to fuck you" he mutters, growling, and he shifts a hand between our bodies, brushing over my cock and sac as I gasp, positioning himself. His braid slithers, from where it was lying against his back, trailing against one of my ankles as it falls to lie to one side of our nearly joined bodies. My breath catches as I imagine the position, the sight we're creating, so close, so close to actual penetration…I think he's under the delusion I'm not a virgin, and I intend to keep it that way. Better that one of us seems to have knowledge of what to do.

"Oh, _God,_" I whine, twisting my head to the side, as the head of his cock pushes gently, insistently, at the tight ring of muscles that is my opening. "C'mon Duo, please, inside, I want you inside, want it so _bad…_" He squeaks at the sound of my voice, so needy, so _pleading_…and then he's pushing inside, and I can't breathe again, but this time it's a good thing.

It's strange.

I can see things more clearly as my eyes open, everything full of subtle shapes and textures I've never really noticed before.

I can smell him, sweat, harsh cleaner, and generic deodorant, plus the scent of _him_…sweet, and yet musky, with a hint of lemons and I just can't begin to explain how fucking good he smells.

It hurts, as I knew it would, really fucking _hurts_ for a moment, but then…it's not that bad. Tears rise in my eyes but I blink them away, as the head of his cock pops inside me, the rest sliding in almost as if there was no resistance at all. He opens his own eyes, gasping, cobalt starred with brilliance as he slowly fits himself inside me, fits and starts as his hips jerk, plunging him all the way inside, sliding him home. Pain fades slowly, and ecstasy makes itself known, the only thing I ever surrender myself to…

"Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck…" I whisper, my hands rising above my head, to clutch at the cheap plastic bed head. "Fuck that's good, really good. Stop for a sec, lemme adjust." He nods jerkily, and I don't think he can speak, and the notion fills me with a strange kind of glee that burrows deep into my heart and stays there. He's so full, so hot, and his cock…I realise, with a rush that makes me cry out and causing my own cock to twitch…that he's inside me. Fucking me. Oh dear Gods, I'm being fucked by one of the men of my dreams…

His sac is a gentle weight against my ass, because he's buried to the hilt, his length so deep inside me that if I had nothing obstructing him…like my own cock, the head rubbing against his belly, deliciously sensual against his slick skin, and the position of my legs…we would be joined completely, from groin to chest. As it is, he has to arch away from me slightly, and I pant harshly as I try to take control of my suddenly treacherous body. "Go, go, you can do it now, do it…."

And he does. We both moan as he slides away; my ass clutches at him, because feeling him inside is one of the best things I have ever felt, in my entire life, short as it may be, and it makes him whine, low and dark and sweet. He moves forwards again, irrefutably forwards, not so slow…..back, and I moan and clutch at him with my legs, the only thing penetrating…penetrating, heh, funny…my fogged mine is the loss of pleasure, the loss of _him_. Forwards; a snap, and he's buried deeply inside me again, the friction harsh but so fucking good, and I just want to scream his name out, over and over again…

So I do.

"Duo, Duo, there, deeper, that's it….oh Gods, that's it….I've wanted to feel this for so long….so fucking long….you feel so _good_…" He pants against my neck, holding his upper body still so my legs stay entwined around his shoulders and collarbone…his hips thrusting forwards, burying his cock deep inside me, pulling nearly all the way out so that the thick head teases the ring of muscles surrounding him, making the lubricant seep from my ass, and I _knew_ he had used too much…"Fuck, "Fei…you're so tight…" he whines, body trembling as he shoves forwards again, both of us gasping from the friction, and the pleasure, because this is so taboo and so right at the same time it makes my body pulse with the knowledge.

One hand wraps around a plastic post, the other worming between our writhing bodies to slide against my lower belly, so I can play with myself, so I can run a trembling hand up and down my own cock, pleasured inside and out, stroked steadily as his hips pick up the pace. He grunts as my knuckles twist against his belly, arching away even more and crying out as I tighten around him, so snug and clenching I can feel him decompressing before I force myself to relax. His eyes raise, and they find mine, and they lock as his hips slam into the curves of my ass, pushing himself deeper and deeper inside me. "Fuck….you're so….fucking hot…" he pants, and I smile slightly as I make my other hand leave the post, to run careful fingertips across the planes and bones of his thin cheek. He turns his head, to nuzzle into my palm, and I whimper as a gentle tongue flicks out to trace my pulse line, contrasting with the deep, satisfying, earth shattering movements as he continues to plunge deep inside of me.

This…this is fucking intense. My mind reels as I throw my head back, gasping and moaning frantically as he nudges his cock against my prostate, sliding precum along my length as my hand gradually begins to pick up pace, sometimes jarring the rhythm as the need possesses me fully. His body heat presses against me, and as his hips become a living machine, all of their own creation and doing, he bends forwards, so that his throat settles against my right shoulder, pressing biting kisses wherever he can reach. "Oh Duo…are you close? I'm close" I murmur, and as I never really try to lie, it's the truth…of a sort. I am coming, a couple of minutes away, and my breathing hitches as my balls throb with the wave crashing towards me. "Close" he whispers, kissing me again, lips and tongue a delightful combination which should be forbidden to ever be apart. "So close…nearly there. Fei, you're so sexy when you're like this, yanno? It makes it all…so much fucking better…"

"Yeah?" I pant, and I grin, before a shudder of concentrated pleasure threatens to tear my mind in two. I fight my way back to consciousness, trembling all over, beginning in the place where we're connected so deeply and travelling through my body, a twinge of delight nearly every single second. "Oh yeah" he whispers, before he nearly screams as I clench him tightly, just as he's pushing inside and forcing him to lodge right next to my sweet spot. The next few minutes are nothing but sounds and movement, thrusts and touching and caressing mingling with the tortured moans escaping my lips, the feral growls from him, the possessive glint in his eyes overflowing, turning into something much more darker and sweeter. I can feel him forcing the excess lubricant from me, making it slide in a sticky wave along the cleft of my butt, and I nuzzle his cheek before I start screaming and I can't seem to stop.

Thick, ropy gouts of come arch away from my pulsing cock, splattering against his belly and my chest as I push myself upwards, trying to sink into a non-existent heat that probably should be there but isn't. It, in turn, forces him deeper inside me, clenching and sweet pressure making the heat and hardness inside me lodge, squeezing him tightly. He groans as he begins, his rhythm faltering, and I close my eyes, panting, as I take in the satisfying feeling of white hot liquid filling me. Over and over again, plunging inside me, chasing the very ends of pleasure with my body the only conduit, and I gasp continuously as I sink further into the mattress, pushed by his own frenzied search for perfection and completion.

His hips finally slow, and my mind tuns to mush, with only the sweet pleasure that is still invading my body its only thought and care. He moves slightly, both of us moaning as he shifts inside me, and I let my legs untwine from his shoulders with an exhausted sigh, feeling every single muscle in my body loosen and then slacken as I practically collapse beneath him. I can feel his arms, shaking with the effort of holding him up, and I mutter impatiently, pulling him down on top of me and curling my legs around his waist, so that he has something to rest on. Hey, I might be selfish, but even _I'm_ not _that_ much of an asshole. I must have tired the poor guy out.

He pants into my neck, and my skin shivers, trying to shy away from the moist heat enveloping my pulse. His cock is slowly softening, the bone hard shaft returning to yielding, delicate skin; stretched out inside me still from the force of that last, magnificent thrust. I kiss his jaw gently, feeling relaxed, the most that I've been in months, and his eyes are almost shy as he turns to confront mine.

"That was …good" I say softly, and he smiles, nuzzling my nose with his own for a second, before pulling back, his cobalt eyes twinkling with sated glory. He's so beautiful …and I don't think he even realises it. The effect he has on me. And now …the effect I have on him. Heh.

This war is going to get mighty interesting from now on...

"You're…my first, 'Fei" he murmurs, and I have to feel a flash of pride that he could admit it to me. Duo, however much he insists he tells the truth, hides most of it so much it might as well be a lie, and I feel so…happy? Glad, perhaps, that he could trust me with something that could be so humiliating. I smile again, blinking my eyes lazily, and drawl slowly, "Funny, that. You were mine, too." His eyes widen a little before he chuckles, and I roll my eyes, snorting a little. I think it's quite obvious that he doesn't know as much about me as previously thought. Now he had to deal with a whole new side of me, and myself…maybe a slightly different him. It's almost comforting, the thought of getting to know another more intimately, and my arms curl around his shoulder blades, rubbing the sweat soaked skin.

"You ok?" he asks sleepily, tracing the line of my jaw with one fingertip, and I shiver as it slowly runs against my bottom lip. "Yeah" I breathe, pulling him closer so that I can kiss him again, tongue velvet and slick and welcome against my own. Our lips sealed, tongues writhing as intimately as the chaos of sex that prompted such a thing, and I can't help but feel like I've…arrived. Duo's a spectacular catch, a marvellous lover, and a genuinely good person. Beautiful, funny, caring…especially in these moments…and I think it quite possible to see a future evolve from this. Something to look forward to. Besides, he's a fucking good fighter, and as I don't really want my ass char grilled by Krushenada…especially since my ass belongs to someone else now, no?...I want him by my side. Me by his. Warriors, eclipsed by the need and the want.

"Are you sore?" he asks, shifting slightly, and I wince as his cock slips a little from me, brushing against my oversensitive prostate on the way out. "Fine" I mumble, letting my head fall back onto the pillow deeply, the strange urge to laugh like a hyena raising in my throat before I squash it firmly. "A little, be gone by morning…my back fucking hurts, though." He laughs a little before he nods, blinking tiredly, and sighs as I gently, but firmly, start pushing him out of me with my arms, hands against his shoulders. "Sleep, Duo" I say sternly, my tone softened with light affection, and he yawns, shivering as his head slips free, making me feel almost ridiculously empty. I take stock of the damage; still very stretched, but that will be gone in a half an hour. Previous experience tells me it will be so. No split skin, only mild soreness, already fading as my muscles relax and my legs slowly close. Yeah, and that sore back. I almost fall off the bed anyway when roughness glides over my lower belly, so unexpected I hiss wordlessly, and he murmurs a soft apology as I realise he's cleaning me up.

I let him do it, calmly watching his movements with half lidded eyes, sighing as he raises my leg up and away from the other as he cleans in-between my thighs. This feels…really good. Not in anyway sexual, really, and that's as lovely as the sex itself. He actually cares about my welfare enough to do this…or something like that. Who cares. It feels good, and that's all that matters, right? He hands me my shorts silently, and we flash grins at each other as we pull them up, over our shins and knees, me casting one last longing look in the direction of his limp cock before dark boxers cover it once again. I poke my tongue out at him when his eyes flare knowingly, his beam wide upon his lips, though his eyelids are drooping hazily and his yawns are becoming more frequent.

We both lie down again, me snuggling under the light sheet, and I press a hand to his chest gently, feeling the rapid thump of his heart, the slight rise and fall as he breathed slowly. I smile, leaning forwards to kiss him one last time, quickly, more a peck than anything else, before I flip and turn my back to him. I stretch out a little, and I'm glad he can't see my pleased smile as his hand finds mine, curling around my fingers and squeezing briefly as my eyes slip closed.

"So, 'Fei…when are you going to seduce the others?"

"When I feel like it, Maxwell….why, jealous or something?"

He snorts, and my smile widens as his hand tightens around mine, almost possessively if I didn't know any better. Son of a bitch is trying to test me. "Oh yeah, 'Fei…I'm _sooo _jealous of the others…it's going to be fun watching another take you."

It pleases me that he thinks it will be so easy, or indeed, even possible. "I'll enjoy you watching."

"Wanna know something?" I blink, at the curious note that's entered his mild, neutral tone. I yawn, and slowly roll over to face him, our arms moving to compensate the movement and keeping our hands joined together. "Know what?"

Eyelids shutter exhausted cobalt slightly, and he smiles a little, brushing callused fingertips against my bare chest, making me shudder as they caress still sensitive nipples, the flesh tightening around them once again. "When I came…inside you, and afterwards…I had the strangest feeling. I don't know exactly, _what_ it was…but it felt like I'd found something. Like I've-"

"Arrived?"

He nods, still brushing against my chest, and I sigh as I snuggle into his side, brushing careful lips over his. "Try not to think about it too much, Duo" I murmur, my eyes closing as my head slumped wearily on the pillow. "We have to face Beasty Face Yuy in the morning, and I dread Quatre sensing what I'm feeling right now." He stiffens, and I snort, tugging on his braid in reprimand as I kiss his collarbone. "I feel lazy. And well fucked. Let's just hope his space heart doesn't pick up on stuff like that, alright?"

"Oh" he breathes, and kisses my forehead, a hint of tongue sliding against my brow for a moment. "Righty-oh, my Master of Sexual Fancies and Delights."

"Sleep."

"But-"

"Sleep. Go to sleep. Beasty fucking Yuy…"

"And to think…you want to screw the guy…" I snort, and pull on his braid half-heartedly, and in the time it takes to think up a suitable retort I fall asleep.

...But damn, my boy is fine.


	2. Intermission: The Fighting Game

… … … … …

Intermission – The Fighting Game

… … … … …

Balmy sunlight, annoying as it lands across my forehead and cheeks, making me feel uncomfortably hot as I roll over lazily. Cool shadows caress me, and I hear someone sigh gently, a wiry arm wrapping around my waist as I rest my head on something warm and soft. I yawn, my jaw creaking, fingers flexing against the gentle curve of a rib as I slowly start to remember what happened last night.

Anyway, with him gently kissing me and all, it's not really all that hard to recollect.

I lick the inside of his lips before pulling back with a hum, ignoring his protesting grumble as I nudge him in the ribs. Amazingly enough, I think I've slept a full eight hours, something I haven't done in…forever. With the exception of injuries, of course, but I don't really count being unconscious as sleeping. Well, sometimes I do, but drugs don't bloody count.

"Today is a good day" Duo remarked softly, and I slowly open my eyes before I have to choke on my laughter. It seems my fellow pilot has a very bad, very unsightly tangle of bed-hair and hasn't seemed to realise it yet. Much fun shall be had, as I tease his undisturbed form mercilessly, and much enjoyment shall be derived from the process. That is, until I reach up to touch my own hair, and moan softly. In horror. Damn the bed-hair death that has infected this particular conjunction of mattress, pillows and sheets. Damn it to cotton throw hell.

I hit him when he starts giggling, glaring with all the haughtiness of an offended cat, and quickly try to untangle my hair tie from my usually silky strands. Snarls, tangles, ow, that hurt…aha! Elastic! Fantastic. I slowly extricate the black band, wrapping it around my wrist as I sit up properly, reaching for the hairbrush I just know is on the other side of the bed, near the leg. To do that I have to lean over him…and he takes the opportunity to pull me on top of him, so that I'm straddling his waist.

Hairbrush in hand I smile sleepily, as cobalt eyes fill with glimmering laughter, and slowly begin to process of brushing my hair. First, the ends, and as I lean back it pulls my abdomen muscles taught, and he runs callused fingertips over my skin and bellybutton until they start to quiver from their gentle, thoughtful pressure. I arch my hips, pressing my morning erection against his own, smile turning into a leering grin as he gasps softly, eyes shutting as he grinds back, carefully. What an amazing way to start the day.

The hairbrush has done its magic as the slow grinding becomes rhythmic, Duo panting and gasping as my breath starts to catch, remembering the feel of him, last night. Hot cock filling me, stretching me, _invading_ me and I can't help my low moan as he jerks savagely against me, eyes slit with lust and pleasure. He's gay. Totally. Well, perhaps bi, but that's not the point. I've done the impossible, and turned the self proclaimed God of Death from a slightly inexperienced virgin into a horny, qualified lover. Life, 'tis good, as they say.

Never mind the fact that my hair may need more brushing, I put the brush down carefully before fastening my hands onto the hollows of his collarbone. It gives me the leverage I need to fully thrust against him, hardness rubbing sensually against my own, and I feel my cheeks warm as he murmurs, "Jesus, you're hot…" Nice boy, my Duo, isn't he? Especially with a pretty impressive erection grinding into mine with delicious force. Whoever said Americans have no stamina have obviously never met _this_ particular Yank….wait. Yank. Heh. Heh, heh, heh. Before too long I'm pretty much giggling like a schoolgirl, and he growls at me, thrusting his hips up in a long arc that makes me fall silent immediately, gasping, because he had just pressed his cock against my tender little ass.

"You bastard" I wheeze, and he fails to look even remotely contrite before he grins savagely, wrestling me down onto the mattress so that we're side by side, my hand plunging into the waistline of his boxers before he can blink. His does its own spelunking expedition, and we kiss hungrily as we run hands over each other, his cock warm and heavy as I pump it fluidly. He takes a slightly different approach, all different textures and grips, and I promptly begin to melt into the mattress, one long, liquid, writhing nerve. Damn, his hands feel good…who would have thought that after a night of incredible sex Duo Maxwell would, again, be inching his way closer to my entrance? I growl in warning, still feeling slightly sore, and he grins apologetically, gasping, as his hand curls around the base of my cock again.

I tense, and then cry out, Duo plundering my mouth as I spill over his hands, my cock and balls throbbing as my hips jerk to their rhythm at the intense pleasure, his own cock starting to throb quite nicely under my administrations. He comes quietly, moaning softly as his eyes lock with mine, and I love the feel of the warm liquid that dribbles slowly onto my hand, spurting in time with the furious pulses against my palm. We lay there for awhile, softly panting, eyes closed, before I remove my hand from his boxers and study it carefully. Yup. That's nice. I give it a judicious lick, just to taste him, and I don't miss his groan as he sees the rather explicit sight that greets him when his eyes blink open.

"_Damn_, 'Fei…" he moans, and I smile as he carefully wipes his hands clean with the towel he used last night to wipe me down. He hands it to me silently and I use it too, a small grin on his face, and he watches me as I finish brushing my hair, two hundred strokes that make me feel slightly more human and less like some nest for a voracious condor. I sigh, chucking the hair brush aside, and grab my towel and bag as I carefully extricate myself from the tangled, musky sheets. He pulls me down, and kisses me goodbye, and I roll my eyes but feel slightly happier all the same.

"Shower time. I feel like a family of mice have been using me for a patio."

"That's…strange. Hmm…..'kay, 'Fei. Better save some hot water for me."

"I guarantee nothing" I warn, and leave the room with his quiet laughter following me like a blessing. My boy is a rather nice fellow, when you start to think about it. Been lovers for what…twelve hours?…and he's already fallen into a perfectly acceptable and enjoyable routine. We are Gundam pilots, after all. Different situations have to be quickly adapted to, if you want to survive.

I slip into the bathroom without getting caught, and I regard my reflection with some surprise as I look in the mirror. My eyes…calmer, a hell of a lot calmer, almost filled with a kind of satisfaction. No wonder he had come when he stared into my eyes. Bruises, on my hips and shoulders, from his fingers…I bruised him too, so I consider us even…all in all, I look like somebody who's had a night of great sex. That, or I've been beaten up by somebody who's very gentle or very wussy. I snort, and step under the hot water.

Ooooh…hot water. Nice. Luxuriating, almost. Too bad I kinda have to keep my promise to Duo, leaving him _some_ of the hot water, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it any less. I wash my hair, digging my fingertips into my scalp, moaning at the lovely feeling of being clean. And wincing as the stretching irritates my back, but it's a good ache, in a way. You kinda know sex is going to be messy and pain inducing, but when faced with the harsh reality…yup, better to be nice and clean again.

I sigh as I step out, wrapping my towel firmly around my waist – I feel no great pleasure in exposing any more than I have to, to the cold air – and quickly rub my hair dry with the hand towel I keep especially for that purpose. I brush my teeth, brush my hair again, and sit on the toilet seat lid, cheek in palm, and stare hazily at the corner until I dry naturally. Call me crazy, but I don't want anything rough touching my skin. It's sensitive enough already, as it is. Damn Duo and his hands of liquid sex. I can still feel that orgasm shuddering through me.

I don't put my hair up as tightly as usual…I leave some black strands framing my face, the others pulled into a just snug ponytail at the back of my head…and slip into a comfortable pair of old black jeans that I found a couple of months ago at a thrift shop. Long sleeved red shirt, white socks, and I wander into the small kitchen/living room/entrance hall to collapse on the tiny love seater couch.

I groan pathetically as Quatre walks pass, murmuring a polite, "Good morning Wufei."

"Good, yes…" I sigh, and bury my face in a cushion. I can almost feel his confused gaze resting on me, then air displaced from shrugging shoulders as he crosses to sit at the small card table set up as the dining area. "Uh…are you okay? You're not hurt, or anything?" I raise my eyebrows, still with my nose buried in my cushion, and wave a hand around unimpressively. "Meh?"

"Oh, it's just that me and Trowa heard screaming…and you growling. And something that sounded like Duo laughing, and then squealing, but we couldn't be sure…" I blush, glad my face is still firmly planted in tough upholstery fabric, and wave the hand again. "Meh. Mawbanna jadeite." What did I just say? Oh, I don't _care_. I'm slightly sore, and comfortable, and as I lift my head I snigger as I catch sight of Duo, who still hasn't realised his hair dilemma yet, as he wanders sleepily towards the bathroom.

Quatre gapes openly, aquamarine eyes wide as he stares at 02, and I take the opportunity to lazily observe his cute hotness. Oh yes, there are many degrees of hotness. Sexy hotness. (Duo.) Strong hotness. (Heero.) Silent Hotness. (Trowa.) Quatre's in a class of his own when it comes to cute, though.

Shining, soft blonde hair, that always seems as if it's been just blown and teased by the wind. Milk fair skin, not too many scars. That innocent expression that's fooled so many – including all of us – that hides a quick mind and a calculating nature underneath. He keeps that side quiet, though, generally just letting his niceness and warmth to flood everything he comes into contact with. I think he might be gay, too. I mean, come _on_. Pink shirt, purple vest, patent leather shoes? Right, judge not lest ye be judged, yada, yada, yada…

He's not slightly buff, like Duo or Heero, nor is he slim to the point of skinniness, like me and Trowa. Slim in a nice, soft way, nice muscle tone, some long, sexy legs that just won't quiet. He'd be a switcher, I think, always changing top and bottom depending on his mood, which I've discovered can be quite volatile when Blondie hasn't imbibed his calming cup of tea. Besides, he likes to chat. When I'm not feeling homicidal and/or like a raging fire, I quite like to talk, too. Perhaps that would be happening more often now that I have the promise of sex on a regular basis to subdue my irritable temper.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I know somebody is sitting on my back. I blink, wondering who the hell would have the temerity to do such a thing, before I catch the scent of lemons and cheap deodorant and sigh. Duo. I allow it though, because I'm sleepy, and his weight feels nice as it forces my muscles to writhe into a more comfortable position. Quatre is nowhere to be seen.

He's braiding his hair, a thoughtful little smile on his face when I dare to turn my head, and I watch him quietly as he expertly begins to twist the three hanks of hair around each other. It takes him less than a minute, and then he leans against the back of the couch, feet dangling over the edge from the added height of having me as a strange sort of cushion.

"Comfy, are we?" I ask sarcastically, and he grins. "You know it, sexy 'Fei. Wonder what's for breakfast, I'm _starved_…" Oh yes, he's starving and I think the couch might be eating me alive. How similar our hunger situations are. How curiously _sinister_ they both are. I haven't forgotten the time he ate three large pizzas by himself. That had been a disgusting display of human greed and pure selfishness. He stole the last of the chicken satay, my favourite. I still haven't quite forgiven him for that.

"Need a hand up, sexy man?" I accept his hand with good humour, allowing him to pull me to my feet, before I collapse again, this time at the table. He hands me a stack of toast and I nod favourably, giving him a warm smile before I started nibbling on one with chocolate spread. I like chocolate spread. Rather, I used to, as Duo calmly remarks that the spread looks like baby shit. I glare, and toss it at him, and move onto one covered with a good dollop of honey. He opens his mouth, probably to comment again, and I send him a look so ferocious I'm surprised his hair isn't singed by the blast radius of it. He swallows hard, smiles gamely, and promptly devours an entire loaf of bread.

"I hate you."

"Aw, 'Fei, it doesn't really look like baby poo. I was just winding ya up."

"I still hate you. Pass me that jar, and that big spoon there."

"Bossy, bossy, boss-"

"Please?" I pout cutely, wriggling a little, and he hands it to me with widened eyes. I smirk in triumph, and proceed to eat peanut butter straight from the jar. He rolls his eyes, and picks moodily at the remains of the plastic the loaf of bread had been wrapped in while I abandon the oily peanut paste go back to my yummy honey treat.

Heero. I narrow my eyes as I bite into my toast, threatening him with honey covered jaw death. Bastard. Too damn good looking for his own good. I guess I haven't quite forgiven him for talking to me like a two year old the other day.

And _what_ has he got in his hand- rice pudding. Oh no, I _love_ rice pudding. And to see _him_ eating it…

I swallow hard, and Duo watches me curiously as I stare at 01. He remains oblivious, eating his breakfast with the same mechanical precision he exudes at nearly all times, and I nearly pass out as he licks some that had been on his upper lip with a little sweep of his tongue. Duo grins, looking impressed, and I kick his ankle as he opens his mouth again – probably to say something else traumatising and damaging, something that will _scar_ my soul for all time and probably _ruin_ another tasty treat - that or get me killed. He winces, pokes his tongue out, and watches me watching Heero.

The sweet, sugary torture eventually ends, and Heero fixes me with a scowl as he places the bowl neatly in the middle of the table. I glower right back. The tension is thick in the air, but Duo's not looking impressed. Rather, he's looking at my chest, and I blush when I realise that again…probably from a combined mixture of Sexy Heero Beast Glare And Rice Puddin' Lickin' and the orgasmic effects still trying to wriggle out of my body…my nipples have gone hard. I need a diversion, because Heero's narrowing his eyes suspiciously…

"Watermelon rodents of doom!" I cry, and race to the love seat again, diving head first into my previously smothering cushion. There is a shocked silence, before a burst of laughter shatters it, and also a heavy thump, signalling that my boy has fallen off his chair. Idiot. That moron needs a seatbelt at all times, I swear…

"Chang, are you on drugs?" Heero asks flatly, and I scowl into the rough, large thread woven green cotton that is my death ally cushion. "I wish" I mutter, wriggling into a more comfortable position, flinching as my ass protests slothfully at the sudden movement. "Having to put up with _you_ all day, every day,…well, pretty much all day, every day…Ritalin's legal, I could get some…baby shit, I'll kick his ass." I rant/grumble for another few minutes, ignoring both Duo, who's hyperventilating he's laughing so hard, and Heero, who's glaring at me for the slight on his lovely, precious companionship. I continue to ignore them both, and grumble until I'm silent. Fun to do.

Trowa and Quatre walk into the room, Trowa wiping grease from his hands with an all purpose cloth, Quatre glaring at the slightest black stain on his once immaculate gay- er, pink shirt, and they seat themselves at the table. I watch, trying hard not to laugh, as they notice Heero, still glaring murderously at me, and Duo, who's so red in the face he could burn something with it, his laughs now strangled giggles, rolling around on the floor like a demented puppy.

"Right…" Trowa narrows his eyes, and silently digs into my now forfeit stack of toast. I hope he dies from grease poisoning. Quatre is trying to tug the empty bowl of ex-rice pudding away from Heero, who must have gripped it sometime during the glare-o-mania, with little success. Duo gets up suddenly, and leaps at me, making my day complete.

I growl with a feral like attitude, before I start squirming, blinking up at him with huge shocked eyes. He _wouldn't_. Cobalt gleams mischievously, and he indeed does what I fear, tickling me mercilessly under my ribs. I keep a game face on as the others stare at him in shock, probably wondering if he has a death wish of some sort, before I can't help myself anymore. I'm mortified. Ashamed. Going past terror into the realms of amused horror.

I'm giggling like a fucking schoolgirl again. _In front of them!_

"No!" I squeal, rolling off the couch and pulling him with me, both of us landing in a confused tangle of limbs and laughter on the floor. "Stop it, Duo, please! Mercy! Mercy, you bastard of epic proportions!" He grins, sitting on my stomach as I try to wriggle away, hands seemingly everywhere at once. "Not until you admit it does look like baby shit" he mutters, and I scream as he attacks a soft spot on my lower belly.

"No! Chocky spread! It calls my name like the siren of the dammed, lulling me beyond the silent white light at the end of mucky tunnels and incredible sex!" I scream, because I can. And besides, it makes Duo laugh, which in turn jostles me, which in turn is nice. Very _nice_. Heh. Never mind me, I must have been a slut in a past life. Or in this one. Doesn't matter,_ honestly_… "Incredible sex! Mind bending sex! Alright! Baby shit! It's baby shit!"

He crawls away from me, laughing manically again, and I have to wonder if hormones had created some sort of dam in his mind, blocking part of his odd sense of humour…until I released it, that is. The others are staring at me like I just sprouted breasts and tattoos, he's laughing, I want to lie down again, and my death ally pillow is nowhere in sight.

"I hate you." I scowl ferociously, and rub my sore ass.

"You know you love me, 'Fei" he grins, and then blanches, and then grins again, looking sheepish. I start laughing, holding my stomach as I collapse on the floor, the rough carpet rubbing my back as I slowly convulse in a semi circle, cackling like a loon. Having this relaxed attitude with him is so…so _refreshing_. I haven't been able to let my guard down in a very, _very _long time.

Eventually we stop, and just lie there, panting and grinning like brainless idiots. Heero suddenly announced, and quite loudly too, "Chang is on drugs. Maxwell is being Maxwell. And Chang's nipples got hard when he ate honey. You are all duly warned." I frown, and snap my fingers together. My diversion didn't work. Duo chuckles, and crawls over to my side, collapsing on his own and supporting his head with a crocked elbow.

"Sexy 'Fei" he rumbles appreciatively, and I can't help but smile at him as he draws a hand up along my ribcage. Quatre chokes, and a piece of bitten off apple flies across the room. There is a crash as Trowa's arm jerks and knocks the plate of toast to the floor, making the china shatter. Heero's back stiffens slowly, the very air around him screaming shock.

"I think I'm still coming, from earlier" I complain softly, rolling a little and curling into his side, his arm coiling around my waist again. His lips brush my forehead, and he grins, cobalt eyes dark and teasing as he sends the tiniest of glances at the others. "Not my fault I can't keep my hands off of you…you're too damn hot" he murmurs gently, rotating me a little so that our lips meet.

This is so voyeuristic, and wrong, it's _right_. I open my mouth with a sigh, allowing him to sweep his tongue against mine, suckling on it gently as it brushes deeper, making my gums tingle and my lips tremble. He groans, moving his hand to cradle my jaw, tilting my head slightly for better access as my hands clamp down on his shoulders. We're _devouring_ each others mouths as if it was the last thing we would ever do, and I can't help the shaky cries escaping my throat as it becomes more and more intimate. And highly arousing. I eventually pull back, panting, gaze ensnared by laughing cobalt as we move apart from each other slowly.

"Damn, 'Fei…" he says softly, pressing the pad of his thumb to his bottom lip, eyes hazy with pleasure. "It keeps getting better and better, every time I kiss you." Quatre chokes again, Trowa twitches in his chair like he's got epilepsy, and Heero's still so stiff with shock I don't doubt a brisk breeze would make him shatter.

"Hmmm" I hum, suddenly deliriously happy for no discernible reason, and death ally cushion makes a reappearance – it was under Duo - as I snuggle into it. "You're not that bad yourself, Maxwell."

"Well, thank_you_, Chang" he smiles, and rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with a sigh. "Last night was good, ne? I've never had an orgasm that hard and intense before."

Quatre chokes again, Trowa falls off his chair in sudden floor envy not unlike Duo, and Heero resembles nothing but mortar and stone.

"You had never had sex before" I point out logically, lips twitching into a grin. "The first time is totally different than jacking off, Duo."

"I know that" he huffs, rolling his eyes, and fiddles with the end of his braid. "You were so tight, and hot…so fucking sexy. Who would have thought it, Chang Wufei, one big ball of slut and sex and lust."

"Slut's a bit over the top, don't you think?" I ask softly, and he smiles, a little mysteriously. "I'm not the one fantasising about other…_people_…when eating breakfast, dearest Master Of Depraved Sexual Antics. You're likely to give people a heart attack when you eat a banana."

"Just because I want to have certain…_people_…fuck me, doesn't make me a slut" I declare, sitting up and glaring at him slightly, though a smile glimmers in my eyes. "I'm a cuddly, touchy feely type of person." I spread my arms wide. "I just want to share the love, Duo. Just want to share the love."

"Share away, 'Fei."

"Lover of mine, one day, I will make sure your mouth is doing something more satisfying than blathering about like a headless chicken."

He smiles, delighted. "Really? Do you know how? Can you teach me? I've wanted to go down on you since the peanut butter…"

I seriously think Quatre is about to hack up a lung, in a decidedly _gory_ manner. Trowa is lying on the floor, his one visible eye glazed, and I think he might have hit his head on the way down. Heero finally shifts, turning around in his chair to fix bewildered stares on the both of us.

"Of course, Duo." I smirk, brushing my fingertips across his flushed cheek, and murmur, "I can't deny you anything…that will lead to pleasure for me."


	3. Intermission: Respiratory Failure

… … … … …

Intermission – Respiratory Failure 

… … … … …

They haven't spoken to us since yesterday.

Duo's sulking, reclining on _my_ sofa, and sending glares at any funny looks he receives, which means he's perpetually scowling. Because, damn it, they've been looking at us funny all bloody _day_. Well, him anyway. They're not game enough to look me in the eye at all.

I pout, sitting at the kitchen table, my legs stretched out comfortably on top and I'm reading a book. But I can't help but feel slightly hurt, for all my indifference, and Duo keeps sending me these sympathetic glances when he's sure nobody's looking. He knows I want them. I know I want them. They, unfortunately, have as much clue as a penguin lost in the Sahara desert.

I toss '1000 exciting cat recipes – your friends will never know!' across the room, smirking ferally as it crashes into the wall with enough sufficient noise to prompt a startled squeak from the kitchen. Cute little Quatre has been holed up near the oven for nearly nineteen hours now, and since he has enough food for a week we're probably not likely to see him anytime soon – toilet breaks might be happening at night, we know not. Duo mutters, and flops spastically around, growling when his braid gets caught beneath him. "Damn it, 'Fei…we should just tell them. You know, the truth."

"I don't really feel like dying today" I remark quietly, leaning back and crossing my arms across my chest. Apart from a slow kiss last night me and Duo haven't touched each other, mainly because we don't want to scare the others any more than they already are, but also because I'm still a little tender. He understood, even asking if I wanted a quick hand job before I fell asleep, no reciprocating necessary. I declined, and laid, his arms wrapped around me, not sleeping as we listened to the other three mutter in the dining area well into the night.

I think Trowa might be outside, working on his bike again, and Heero's in his room, supposedly studying a mission brief. Duo reckons he's hiding in the closet. I told him to think about what he just said for a second, and that incited the only laugh I've heard from him all day. Now he's sighing, the arms behind his head pulling his priest shirt taught against his chest and stomach, and I can't help but gaze appreciatively at the sight, my head resting on my hands as I lean forwards again. The shock of black with white trim only serves to make his skin look paler, and it's a good look for him, making him seem ancient and child-like, all at the same time. I can't imagine him in any other clothes than these, and surprisingly enough, the thought is comforting. Something consistent to rely on, in these days of chaos and blood.

"Hey…why do you wear that all the time?" I ask softly, and he turns his head nearly upside down to look at me, one eyebrow clearly raised. "Wear what? My boots?"

"No" I gesture hesitantly, eyes slipping down to rest on the white of his collar, and I nod at it. "That. The priest thing." His cobalt eyes turn shadowed, and he looks away for a moment, gazing at the wall as he turns onto his side, posture slightly defensive. I clear my throat, feeling guilt that I don't understand, but to my surprise he actually answers. "It was from before I got involved in the war" he said quietly, tone laced with dark memories and remembered pain, and I nod, hoping he can see it. "I was raised in an orphanage, kind of, run by nuns and a priest, and since they…since they died I wear this. To show I remember them."

Wow…that's amazing. His grief, palpable, every day a testament to those he had lost..."Why do you call Shenlong Nataku?" I stiffen, far more defensive than I had any right to be, and he sits up to glare at me slightly. "We're friends, 'Fei. We can share things in the strictest confidence, and I know for a fact I never betray a friend of their secrets." He rolls his eyes as I slowly unwind, still feeling slightly off balance, before I sigh, defeated by his previous admission and trust. "Fair enough, Duo. There's a couple of reasons why I call…now listen, see if you can spot it…why I call _her_ Nataku."

He blinks, before standing, moving so that he can sit across from me, legs folded underneath himself on the overlarge chair. "I heard that. Her. Aren't, like, the Gundams based on a male figure?"

I snort, and shake my head, amused. "If she had heard you say that…well….alright, I'm going to give you a little bit of a legend lesson, okay?" he nods, eyes lighting up again, and I remember him once saying that stories were one of his favourite things in life. "In my clan there is a legend, about a spirit of revenge."

"Her name was Nataku, a young woman who lived on the outskirts of Jah-neng, a small village that existed in the ancient times, long before the colonies and even Christianity. Her husband, Yung, was a scholar, who left her at home while he travelled the land, researching the reasons why the earth existed, for the Emperor. There was peace in the land, and Nataku lived her days in tranquillity, always waiting patiently for her beloved husband to return, though her love was tinged with hate, for she was all alone, with no one to talk to."

He nods, braid hanging over his shoulder and cascading into his lap, his palms on his cheeks as he rested his elbows on the table, all attention focused on my words. "There was an evil overlord from the south, who came at a time when Jung was travelling, and he declared war against the Emperor, for his people were starving and China was rich with fertility and promise. Jung was far away, resting in a snow capped mountain region far to the east, and Nataku became filled with sorrow, for the Emperor had died and all those loyal to him declared traitors. She feared he had been executed. So she took her own life, beseeching the Gods to grant her the strength to defeat the evil tyranny, and the Gods granted her last dying wish."

His eyes widen, and I smile, looking down at my hands as they try to strangle each other. "Now, many months later, when Jung returned, he learned of the war and raced homewards, to see if his wife was alright, and his sorrow was great when he heard of her sacrifice. Her spirit ravaged the enemy army, destroying those who came close with her mighty sword of flame and light, her eyes windows leading down to the insanity of the jade hells. She was revenge incarnate, her sorrow healing the lands burned by the devastation of war, her justice filled with complete and utter fury. Jung travelled to meet this spirit, not knowing who she was, to beseech it to help him contact his wife, who he loved dearly but didn't realise until her death. They confronted each other in a field of flowers."

I sniff, trembling slightly, because this drags many memories from the depths of my soul, and they burn and cut as they rise to the surface of my mind. "She saw her husband, and her disbelief was great, so much so that it broke the spell the Gods had placed on her to harness her to this world. She fell into his arms, mortal and dying, and with her last breaths she cursed his name, promising to hate him until he completed the justice she had started so many eons before, for time was nothing to a spirit and her existence had been an uncertain hell of yearly seconds and hourly decades. He vowed that he would, and took up her sword, never having the power she had once possessed but swearing to do as he must." I sigh, closing my eyes.

"That's why I call her Nataku…to put it simply, I had an arranged wife, and she died trying to fight OZ with Shenlong, and I vowed to get revenge for her." I shrug, leaning back again and staring him straight in the eye, and he swallows heavily as uncertainty blooms in their cobalt depths. "Our story was somewhat similar, but we hated each other, more like brother and sister than husband and wife. I vowed revenge because she was so _brave_, and in those seconds after she fell from the cockpit, onto the ground…"

I shrug again, feeling helpless though I don't know why, before a sudden thought rocks my world. "Maybe…that's why…I want you all. I know this is going to sound callous, and so cruel…maybe I want the security of having lovers, so that if one dies, I'll never be alone. I want you all so equally, appreciating all your differences and strengths and weaknesses…but I was never brought up to want so many things."

"It's okay, Wufei" he whispers gently, covering my hands with his own. "I can understand where you're coming from. Just know…I want you too, alright?" I smile, and nod, and we both scowl automatically and spring apart as Trowa walks into the living room, covered in grease. He blinks, before shaking his head and starting to walk away, and suddenly I've. Had. _Enough_.

"_Right,_" I snarl, and Duo springs to his feet, shuddering at the utter fury of my tone, instincts instantly up and watching me with wary eyes. I rise more slowly, an unhurried, graceful, fluid movement, and Quatre pokes his head out of the kitchen as my anger flares, wildly out of control. "All three of you" I say softly, and quietly, my tone laced with threats and dire warnings, "are going to sit at this table, and we are going to discuss this. Fetch the Beasty Yuy, lover." He mutters, shaking his head, though a manic grin flirts with his lips as he stomps off to Heero's room. Trowa and Quatre look at each other blankly, just standing there until I yell "_Sit!_" at the top of my voice.

They do. I want to laugh at their speed.

Duo returns, dragging a thoroughly disgruntled Heero behind him, and he pushes him into a chair before flopping back into his own. "You've got the spotlight, 'Fei. I'll back you up if they try to kill you." Heero glares, before looking at me, confused, and Trowa frowns as I sigh, leaning against the table with my hands and staring at them all.

"I'm gay."

They blink. Duo sniggers, before I give him a _look_, and it subsides.

"Me and Duo had sex for the first time the other night. We're not in love. There is no touchy feely crap."

"Yeah, and it was bloody great sex, too."

"Ahem." He blushes, looking embarrassed, and nibbles on the end of his braid. Quatre blinks at me, face nothing but big ol' aquamarine eyes and innocence, and I snort. "I took him as a lover because I wanted to, and he knows something you don't. Not yet, anyway." I smirk, leaning back so I'm standing straight, chin jutting forwards proudly.

"I'm a slut, apparently. Think about the implications of that lovely little word for a moment, and see what conclusions you draw." They look thoughtful, eyes becoming dazed, and I can only wonder if my teacher felt this irritation when he tried to explain something his students didn't get right away. Probably. My Master had been a bit of a grumpy old duck.

The silence draws into minutes, and I start to pace as Duo scrutinises me, amusement shining in his cobalt eyes. Heero finally jerks, whipping around to look at me with startled Prussian depths, and 02 smiles as he watches him for a moment. "Get it, do you, Heero?" he asks quietly, and Heero can only gape. I raise an eyebrow.

"You…you…"

"Let me put this in a way you're likely to understand, Heero" I say quietly as I seat myself again, gazing at him earnestly even as my heart thumps in sudden fear. Duo might have killed me. If threatened, Heero Yuy definitely would. "This is simply about sex and respect and being friends. There are no strings, no emotional involvement, and as I said to Duo, if it turns into something more permanent it's going to be about friendship, and that's it." He blinks, before a thoughtful frown creases his forehead, and I nearly sigh. Mainly because he looks so damn hot like that, but also because he's considering my proposition on all levels, taking it seriously. Trowa and Quatre are still thinking, though they watch our exchange with interest.

"So…this is about relief." Steady eyes bore into mine, and I shiver as something undulates lazily in their icy blue depths, something that makes my stomach do flips and happy dances. "You find me …attractive?" He tilts his head to the side, questioning, though I could swear…just for a moment, mind you, nothing definitive…it looked like he was teasing me. I laugh as Trowa and Quatre's jaws drop, delighted, though I hide it for all my poor tender little butt's worth. "Something like that."

"You should have heard him, going on about it, the other night." Duo smirks, and reaches forward to grab my hand with his, smoothing my palm with a sexy little twinkle in his eyes. "He's nothing but sweet lust and uncontrollable urges. He wants you so much you can't help but want him just as badly. And it feels good. There's no pain, no fear, just trust and lust and happiness. One of the better things that has ever happened to me, I can assure you." He shrugs. "And he's hot. Sexy 'Fei. That's all that matters. Tell them what you feel, 'Fei. Lies hurt, and I think this one has hurt enough."

I nod, slowly pulling my hand from his and folding my arms across my chest as I stare at the tabletop, tracing the whorls and folds of the plastic with my eyes. "Alright" I say softly, and Duo shivers at my tone, a mixture of vulnerability and pride. "First, though…tell me why you wouldn't talk to us. Look at us. That hurt, and I want to know why you did it."

There's silence, and I feel a lump starting to build in my throat, before – "We thought you didn't trust us."

I blink, and look up, and Quatre looks ashamed as he studies the back of his hands. "We're friends now…that you two wouldn't tell us about your relationship hurt. I'm not talking about the others, but me, and...it did. I would have been happy for you if you'd told me, not kept it a secret…"

"Quatre…we'd only had sex a few hours earlier."

"I know, but you must have been-"

"Quatre. We _only_ had sex, a few hours earlier. I have a problem. When it got bad…well, I couldn't stop myself. I kissed him. That was the first he knew about this whole thing, isn't that right, Duo?" He nods, and I sigh, knowing I didn't handle the situation with the proper degree of decorum and respect that such a thing demanded. "He didn't want to, at first, I think. He didn't kiss me back. Then something-"

"Clicked. In my head." His cobalt eyes are hazy with the memory, and he brushes a fleck of imaginary dust from his sleeve. "It was 'Fei kissing me…strong 'Fei, proud 'Fei…'Fei who threatened to kill me at least once a week. And before that, when he started choking and I didn't know why, I knew something was really wrong. Even before that. I was tense, about us sleeping together…not _sleeping_, sleeping together, but actually resting…but he was way too wired. Something was really wrong."

I frown at him. "You didn't have to say anything about the…choking. I just got scared of what I would do, is all."

"Bullshit" he snorts, glaring at me as my frown deepens, and I can feel my eyebrows drawing together from the effort. "You're scared we're going to kill you. That isn't healthy baggage to be lugging around, and shit, it's definitely hell on you, remaining our friend when you're scared of us. 'Fei, man, you don't have to suffer like that. I'm sure they'll understand." Their shocked gazes tell me everything, and I stare at my lap, my cheeks heating with shame, my hands trembling from mortification. He _didn't_. He…he _wouldn't_…

"I'm sorry Wufei, but it had to be said. You're my friend…something more now, but still, my buddy. Just 'cos you don't want love doesn't mean I don't have to care about you. And I do, and I know this is hurting you, and what you told me…no, I'm not going to tell them about that, I keep my secrets" he says quietly, as I raise my head to glare at him, feeling that lump growing in my throat again. "You lost…the only stable thing you had, and now you need the support again. I'm not enough for that, and I don't resent it. I'd rather be with you, and be happy, and see you happy then have nothing at all. I don't think I could love anyone, anyway, not the way they want me to. I'm too…" He searches for a word, eyes shuttering as he delves into his past, examining his feelings from all angles. "I'm too _damaged_. But I care, and I love ya like a friend. That's enough, isn't it?" His eyes rise to meet mine, indigo with pain, and I realise his desperation to explain himself.

"Yes…it's enough." My whisper is quiet, because my throat is nearly closed, and when he smiles there's such sorrow in it I want to hug him to me, make it better. But I can't. He can only do that himself. "Maybe too much. But enough for me and you, no?"

He nods, and turns away, and they watch us silently, eyes so big and round and shocked, but also…understanding. An outsider wouldn't understand. To us, Duo just told _everything_, every single scrap of what he was feeling, how his mind works…nobody outside of our group will ever have that privilege. It goes with the territory of being what we are.

"I…died, a little inside, every night that I had to share a bed…with all of you." The admission burns, and snarls, before it floats away into the air and leaves me feeling cold. "I know it's not real, the suffocating. But it hurts, and I don't know how to stop it. Rather…" I reach forwards, and Duo's hand finds mine, fingers slipping through and then clutching as I look at the wall again. "…I didn't know until I found my boy. He tasted good, made the fear stop. Best of all he wanted me back. Nobody has ever wanted me, before. I…I didn't think anyone could."

His whisper is soft, but everyone stops breathing as it chains itself to the air. "Nataku."

I nod. "Meiran. My parents. My family. They're all gone now…I'm not quite over it Not yet. It happened not so long ago, and the pain's still there, I guess. Krushenada…he didn't kill them personally. But he gave the order."

"You can't put down her sword….until the war is over, until the enemy is dead…so that her fury can die, and her destiny be fulfilled. You can't live until it's over. You carry the burden."

"And it's an honour to carry it for her. I didn't love her, but Gods Duo, it came bloody close."

"How old…how old were you, when your wife died?"

Quatre gasps, his hands rising to cover his mouth, his aquamarine eyes staring into mine as my vision turns hazy. I didn't love her. But…it came… Trowa is dead white, shaking, and the look in his eyes…is it pity? Sadness? Heero just gazes at me, and his calmness is a comfort.

"Thirteen" I gasp, and then I can't breathe again.


	4. EmErGeNcY CpR

… … … … …

_EmErGeNcY CpR_

The Comfort – Heero Yuy 

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I thought I managed to keep it to myself, at first. My silk shirt slides under neath my palms as I wrap arms around myself again, head tilted down so far my chin is touching my chest. My eyes squeeze tightly closed and I pray for this to pass. So they won't see. Shouldn't…why isn't…_he should be enough! I shouldn't be so damn…_so_ bloody…_I just shouldn't…

Duo has seen it though, and I can feel his gaze on me as I try to shake myself out of it. "'Fei. You know what this is. It's a panic attack, brought on by us talking and the need you feel. The want. You understand that. You let somebody get too close when all you want is for them to be closer. You need the balance, and it's okay to admit that. Only a panic attack. Hell, even _Heero_ has panic attacks."

I shake my head frantically, still gazing downwards, feeling my throat close even tighter. I'm not _scared…_I'm just so…sad. Depressed, perhaps. And that feeling of disappointment, the siren call of loneliness, even though I have proof I'm not alone…it tears me in two.

My feet take ages to find, and when I finally do, I push myself up and away. Escaping. I'm not hiding it, not trying to deny it. l want to run, take myself out of a situation I don't think I'm ready to deal with just yet. Somehow my feet vanish again halfway across the room, and I sink to my knees, as floppy as a rag doll, still shaking my head.

I'm as cold as ice, the small breaths I'm trying to keep silent rattling anyway, cold sweat springing up on my forehead and trailing tear like down my over-sensitive skin. My clothes are too tight, the floor too dusty, the air so thick with things unknown it refuses to enter my throat anymore. It's like trying to breathe honey.

I hear Duo's voice behind me, and I flinch, and it stops. Then – "Heero…you've accepted it. I can see. He's scared of me at the moment because I made him talk about his past, so he probably won't accept me. I'll make it worse."

Heero's reply is quiet, and calm, and I latch onto the strength he has as I try to ground myself. "What do I have to do?"

"Heero…wait…"

"Barton, he is not faking this. Chang can be a very bad actor when he's upset, and this attack is genuine."

"That's not what I meant…if you pacify this panic attack now, he won't be able to deal with the next one. They'll just keep coming. He has to try and get over it, because we need him, for the war." His voice is gentler as he adds, "We need him as a friend."

Duo. "He can't deal with this alone…because we're the ones that cause it. Don't you understand? Haven't you been listening? He's…fuck, I don't know how to say it. He _wants_ us. He thinks it's wrong, deep inside, because he respects the hell out of us, and doesn't want to lose our friendship. He called himself an easy lay, when we had sex, and that's not true because this is harder for him than any of us."

Trowa. "I…I don't know if I can…Duo, I _care_ about him too much to use him like that!"

Duo. Added smirk. "It's not like we're using him, because he wants it before you even realise what want is. He loves to be touched, his neck especially. He practically _purrs_ when you kiss his neck. We're not using him. I'm not. I care about him too, and I think he's beautiful, and that's why I'm his lover and he's mine. _Lover_ may imply something else, but it's closeness, relaxing, good sex and honest answers. It's a good thing."

Quatre. Slightly strained. "If my father can have six fucking wives, I don't see why I can't be in a relationship with a hot guy who wants me, as well as my friends. Doesn't make him a whore. Makes him beautiful."

Duo. Relieved sigh.

Heero. "Tell me what I have to do, because he's getting worse."

Duo's voice, soft, gentle. "Go to his left side. That's it." Body heat rolls at me in waves, and I shudder again, because it's making the ice in my lungs melt, making water trickle into my stomach.

"Heero…Duo…ask him. Ask him, before you try anything, at least."

"Wufei?"

"Babe, do you want this?"

Do I? Do I honestly want another person near me, when I'm so vulnerable? Do I want another to touch me so intimately again, to make me quiver and shake and tremble, to make me cry out and yell and purr? Oh yes, and that aching need grips me tightly, and I get one, huge gasp inside my decompressing chest before my throat locks completely.

I nod slowly, hanging my head in shame.

"Alright babe, it's okay, all okay, right Hee-man?"

"Hn. Yes."

"You're both ok with this?"

"I'm…alright with it. Wufei? Are…are you ok?"

I growl, low and feral, deep in my throat, and find three sets of surprised eyes fixed on me, a medley of blues and greens and in-betweens. And Duo, damn him, is smirking again, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "Now you'll get to see what I saw, and you'll want him because he wants you."

My dazed eyes finally focus, and the first thing they see are golden lips. Strong, soft skinned jaw line, perfectly hollowed cheeks, high cheekbones dominated by a slim, aquiline nose. Slim throat and shoulders, nicely muscular chest, a totally flat stomach you could probably bounce quarters off of, the naval a dip that draws attention to perfectly proportioned hip bones. Long legs that just won't quit, bronzed skin that glints in the warm sunlight filtering through the window at the end of the hall, a creature of the day and of the light. A flash of white, even teeth as his lips part, breath shunting through his nose as he notices something in me he likes, something forbidden and dangerous and wanton. Soft chocolate mink hair framing an angular face, gloriously tousled and yet neat and yet completely wild. Raised eyebrows, half lidded eyes, the slant faintly visible even in this bright light. And then…

Glaciers. Iris petals. Blades and chance and death, coldness not permanent but so much a part of them they've absorbed the colour of ice. Stormy clouds around the outer rims of the iris, a soft purplish shade in small half moons underneath the pupils. Light and dark striations, with the oddest thing…pure black strands against the piercing blues, edging them, making them hungry and insane and so beautiful I think my minds about to blow. Yay. Go hormones, and the poetic side of me that refuses to stay buried – despite a jaundiced use of the shovel on its squeaky little head.

I can breathe. Gods above and Lords below, I can breathe.

"Now what do I do?" He sounds strangely breathless, so unusual for him, and I blink softly when Duo says quietly, "Touch him. His face, his neck, his shoulders. Touch him like you would want to be touched."

He swallows hard, and I realise he feels out of his element here, in this moment. Usually so strong, so stubborn and bone headed and remarkably emotionless…but still kind to all of us, still urging us not to give up on ourselves, when all we want to do is lay down and die. He would always be there for us, until the day an enemy robs him of his life. It's in his nature to be protective, in his nature to care, however much he tries to deny it.

I sigh softly as he brushes gentle fingertips against my cheek, another stroking the delicate wings of my collarbone, and his uncertainty fades as I begin to lean into him. There's a soft gasp, probably Quatre but maybe Trowa…who cares…and Duo, sounding strangely pleased, as he whispers, "There he is. That's the 'Fei I saw. The one that wants you, Heero, the one that would do anything just to be with you. Do you see him?"

He nods wordlessly, his caress still so gentle, but I don't feel the passionate rush I felt with Duo, only quiet simmering, expectation and softness. It's a wonderful feeling, this unhurried boldness that he exudes, so different from Duo, who's impulsive, and as for myself…it's different with him. I don't want to rush, strain for the perfection of completion and glory. I want him in such a different way it floors me.

I close my eyes, smiling with the feeling of safety that presses against my stomach, lust curling and purring instead of racing and roaring, filling me to the brink with a breathless want that urges me to touch him, feel him as he is feeling me.

He sighs as my hand rests lightly on his forearm, the one whose hand is tracing thoughtful patterns against my neck and shoulders. I turn my head slowly, catching his other hand unawares as I nuzzle his fingers, kissing the palm and the small, dainty bones of his wrist, before allowing it to return to this quiet stroking.

"Wufei…can I kiss you?" His tone is almost reverent, filled with the same awe that I feel for him, this cusp between respect and almost affection. We may not get along, most of the time, we may not be the best of friends…but we're both quiet, and we're both here, and this moment is too precious to bear thinking about. He's my friend...albeit the mostly grouchy one. My safety, and I smile again, opening my eyes so I can look into his, searching for something I have no name for.

"Yes" I whisper, and he almost smiles, before he leans forwards, and brushes his lips against mine. It's almost chaste, this first touch, this tingle that threatens to overwhelm me, basking in the sweetness of it all. So perfect. Just us.

I fall into his lap in a tangle of limbs and soft passiveness, his arms, so strong, wrapping underneath my back and supporting me. My lips prickle as they brush against his, ever so softly, and I watch as he swallows hard, throat working convulsively. His hair is soft as I rase a hand to caress it, scritchy-scratchy against my fingertips, and I whimper as his hands run in hot lines, soothingly, along my spine and ribs.

He tastes sweet, something I had never suspected. A hint of honey, a touch of mint and spices. He smells _wonderful_; grease and metal, sweat and deodorant and mandarins. His skin is toughened but still wonderfully smooth, having lost the colony softness from being exposed to a none-too-gentle sun. I squeeze him a little, giving him some warning, before I gently trace my tongue against his deceptively harsh looking lips. He starts, a little prepared for something new but not entirely, and I hum apologetically before my tongue snakes forwards again. He gets the idea _ver_y quickly; holding me to him as he slowly prises my lips apart, lapping just inside my slightly open mouth, and I whimper as the flickering motion sends shivers of electricity into my stomach. Gods, he's good too. Very good kisser. Hmmm…

"I need you now…I always needed you….I need you inside me, oh please Gods, so deep…this much… so deep." I pant into his neck, twisting so that I'm sitting in his lap. He's so taught, filled with the anticipation, like a battle for him. The displace between letting go and handing someone else the reins, this cessation of order and submitting to the desire. He's not sure what to do, but his body's fighting for it already, erection warm and hard against my inner thigh. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere…this deep….want you so bad…"

The captive air inside his chest rumbles as his lips descend upon my neck, and I stretch it out for him, whimpering as teeth chew lightly on the taught skin over my collarbone. "Want you too" he growls, and I shudder as he slowly rises to his feet, plastering me against his body, lifting me up with almost obscene ease. "Where?"

"My room" I gasp, and he nods, walking slowly as his lips find mine again, almost chaste again. Duo brushes my back with his fingertips as we walk past, and I make Heero stop, raising one hand so I can reel him towards me. Trowa is looking away, face pale, his hands trembling slightly…I whimper as I see he's hard, cock straining against the tight material of his jeans, and emerald eyes flash in my direction before lowering, face flushing with embarrassment. Quatre is looking away too, but more for our modesty than anything else. I kiss Duo for a moment, tongue entwining with his, and from the corner of my eye I see Heero watching us, gaze riveted to our moving lips.

"Clever 'Fei" Duo whispers, smile warm as he pulls away, eyes heavy lidded as he adjusts his burgeoning erection in his pants. Things move forward so fast. Heero, pressing me against the hallway wall, plundering my mouth and raising my hands above my head as he grinds into me. The door disobeying us, Heero finally having to kick it open, my hand edging under the waist of his spandex shorts and thumbing the tip of his weeping cock. Door shutting, clothes flying, falling onto the bed, a tangle of soft nudity and heaving bodies.

He's lying on top of me, lifting himself up slightly with one bent knee, and one crocked elbow. His hairs falls into his eyes as his neck snakes forwards, kissing every available inch of skin he can – which is a lot, considering we're naked- little nips, fluttering lips, and I squirm and gasp below him. His belly is soft against mine, our cocks rubbing tantalisingly slow against each others, his nipples grazing my diaphragm as he lowers himself a little more. I want him. So sexy, so strong, so beautiful. I want him so bad and so gently I can't decide whether to jump him or wait out this torture of soft caresses and lingering tongue.

"Lube?" he asks breathlessly, and I have to blink, surprised that he would know. I swear, this is true, so fucking _true_, I'm not making it up, he _grins_. Like he's got a bit of the slut inside him too. "I'm not completely innocent. And your body turned me on. I researched. Lube?" I laugh, little shuddering chuckles that jolts both of our bodies, and he moves back so I can find it.

I hang half off the bed, lower body skewered, and hunt like a deranged lunatic for the evil little tube. I swore I left it around here…somewhere…aha! Success! Just as I close my fingers around it he grabs my hips, squeezing tightly; the next thing I know I'm on my stomach, hips raised and partly on my knees, and he's rubbing his cock into the small of my back. "Oh _yes_…" he hisses, and I half turn my head, my breath catching at the utter _possession_ in his face. "I want you slow, so slow, I want to make you come… want it slow." I swallow hard. Gods, he's so beautiful like this. Trembling on the barest edges of control, wanting me so badly…almost as much as I want him.

"Heero…listen…" I start, and as he licks the place between the top of my thighs and the curve of my ass I see stars, my eyes squeezing shut of their own volition. What was I saying? Why would I say it? I'm confused. This feels good. Really good. Oh yeah, have to tell him…

"This is…my second time. Please…be gentle?"

I don't expect him to be. There's that little part of me, left over from Duo, that wants this screaming and hard, brutal and merciless. But I know this is not all I want, I know that this isn't all sex and pleasure can give me. I want to experience the gentler kind of it, and if I have to manhandle him into doing it I will. I grin, hiding it in my pillow. I like this devious side of me. It almost reminds me of ersatz innocent Quatre, especially after the whole episode with the toothpaste and the exploding microwave.

"I wouldn't want you any other way." He says it so softly I think I'm imagining it, and then gentle hands turn me over, onto my back. His eyes are serious, and sombre, and I hold their intense gaze as I slowly reach for him. He sighs as I reach his chest, and I take a moment to study him. He's graceful, lean and yet muscular, the lines of them directing attention to parts of his body that could make an artist weep at their beauty. Shadowed hip bones, sloping pectorals, nipples like tiny sentinels guarding the space over his heart. His belly is a rippling curve of muscle, his naval added as a inclined afterthought, and I let my hands drift over them, delighted as they clench, his moan making waves of desire buoy me over the wasteland that is my need.

His cock…I nearly cry out, at the sight of it. Bigger than Duo, just a tiny little bit, long and slim, perfectly proportioned. The head flaring a little larger than the length, balancing neatly as it curved up towards his stomach, foreskin glimmering with the tiniest trickle of precome and desire. I run a gentle hand over it, feeling his tremble in the very pit of my being, and I smile up at him as he starts to gently thrust into my touch.

If this is splendour, if this is all I can have in my life, I will die the happiest man on earth and I will forever hold the title.

He's beautiful.

This dimming of control, this loosening of morals, it's a ploy that delights even as it terrifies. That he can stand to have another touch him, considering our lives, considering _his_ training, it's…a blessing. A true gift, and I'm so grateful to Duo, for actually sitting down to try and convince the others with me. I know I'm selfish. Hell, I know that this is the most selfish thing anyone can ask of people like them, and while I'm like them, even now it feels a little wrong, too much like coercion.

But…he's kissing me, slow and sweet. My lips are tingling from the gentle caress of his, and my skin shivers, not trying to crawl and slink away like it did last time. This is something that will define us, either resulting in losing respect for each other, or having it grow so much our friendship could be unbelievable. Shit, call me an optimist, but I think it's option number two, and that makes this even more shocking. Something good…other than the mind blowing sex, can't forget that lovely little prize…could come out of this, and I sigh, kissing his neck as strong hands trace lines down my body.

"I get scared of hurting people, sometimes." I blink, and raise my head, backing off a little to look him right in the eye. The admission startles me more than I care to admit, but I don't show it, instead just gazing at him, waiting for him to continue. He shudders a little, Prussian eyes still hazy with pleasure, but he's also…nervous? Why the hell would he be nervous?

"I'm different, from most…all…people. I don't know whether I hurt them or not, and that sometimes scares me." He leans back, straddling my waist, and I lie still, being as passive as I possibly can. Inside, I'm jumping around and screaming like an adoring twelve year old girl. He trusts me? To actually admit a weakness? Yay! I blink slowly, smiling a little, to show I understand what he's trying to do. Connect. Reach out. And my oh my, isn't this a wonderful moment. No, I'm not being sarcastic, it really is. It warms me in places I didn't know existed.

His lips twitch into a small smile of their own, his eyes hooded, almost coy, and his hands drift, sliding up and down my ribcage tenderly. "I want this to be slow, and gentle…because I want to prove to you, and to me, that I can be something more than what I thought I was." He shudders again, and my hands slowly rise, so they can rest on the arms now placed on either side of my body. "I know" I whisper softly. "I know, I understand, and…I want it too. Can you please show me? How good you can be?"

His smile broadens, and he nods. "I know why you want us" he said quietly. "You need something stable, like Duo said. But…I think we need you, too. The other two might take a little convincing, but…this could be a very good thing for us. We need something to look forward to. And if the war ends, and we make it out alive…I don't think we can be with other people. We're definitely not ready to even consider something like love. But…friends, with benefits. Isn't that what this is called?" I blink, and then burst out laughing, not missing the twinkle in his eyes, his own equivalent of a chuckle. Beasty Yuy just made a joke! Mark this day down in history, once I remember what the date it is. Shocking. Marvellous. I lean up so I can reward him with a kiss.

That kiss turns into something else, something more. He _is _gentler, so gentle his hands leave tingling pleasure as they stroke me, devotedly smoothing every inch of my skin. He pulls me up a little, and I sit, gazing at him, while he takes my hair tie out and lets my hair fall in loose black waves, all around me, my shoulders covered with it. He pushes it behind my ears, Prussian eyes blazing again with that promise of desire, and I can't stop shaking as he lowers me down again, so slowly, so softly onto the mattress. I feel like I'm being swallowed alive by feathers, like I'm being caressed with silk and velvet. This is very intimate, almost obscenely so, but…I love it. This…this is fucking amazing, and one of the biggest turn ons I have ever experienced.

The hair, just behind his small ears, is very soft…and very tempting to pet. It's a little like a cats pelt, smooth and rough all at the same time, and I bury my fingers in it as he leans over more, caressing my proffered neck with his lips. His cock is hard and warm and smooth, as it rests against my thigh, so close to my own it feels the tingle of his heat even from a distance. Beautiful. I smile, and he smiles, and it continues to be the most gentle experience I think I've ever had, bar family and friends before Nataku.

It's like…Gods above, it's like he's _worshipping_ me. That giddy thought curls around, somewhere near my spleen, and I murmur softly, delighted though I dare not show it. So sweet, and gentle…his hands linger, soothing skin and flesh, his lips leaving tingling, red hot kisses all over my trembling frame. So beautiful…

"Heero…inside me…please, please do it…need to feel you…" My murmur is soft, but it has the effect of a bomb going off, making him tense and then relax, contracting, reacting. "Okay" he whispers, mouthing the taught skin over my hip bone, and I quietly hand him the lube as I sit up to watch.

While his thin fingers are busy with the tubes lids, his tongue has found different uses for itself, and it's having the time of its life. I'm not really complaining either. Not really. He buries his nose in the dark swatch of hair just above my cock, and I moan as my arms start to tremble. He wouldn't…he _couldn't_. No, not Heero Yu-

I scream, hips arching off the bed as he swallows me, effortlessly, like he's been doing this all his life. I don't know, maybe he has done this before, but I can't tell…there's just hot, sucking heat, the graze of teeth…smooth tongue…oh Gods, he's so sweet…

With one hand petting my thigh, trusting me not to choke him, he uses his thumb and middle finger to spread me wide, exposing me. I gasp, wriggling a little…but so careful not to shove fully into that incredible suction…as cool air washes over me, making my nerves tingle with promises I can't even begin to name. Then his finger tickles, wriggles, and finally burrows itself inside of me. I push myself up even further, gasping at the thrill of invasion, the claustrophobia of having his lips around me, and I watch breathlessly as his tongue writhes around the base of my cock.

I never thought, never dreamed in my wildest fantasies, that this could ever happen! Nor that watching someone slide up and down your length…fluidly, gracefully, Prussian eyes sparkling as lips brush against dripping slit…could make your heart hurt from beating so fast. I slump, gasping, barely able to keep my eyes open under the double…no, triple assault, for his eyes study me closely as his thumb rubs the skin surrounding his probing fingers, sending shivers of pure shock into my belly. Oh, fuck_ me_. Figuratively, literally, and take it to the bank!

Fuck, I'm a horny little bastard. Duo would probably be proud.

His lips release me, making my cock slap down onto my belly with the _strangest _sound, and I go cross eyed from the effect of skin on skin. Ohmigod.

What?

"I said, more?" Huh? What are those sounds? Could they, possibly, in a remote universe so stretched and beyond the realm of my current reality, be words? Am I able to understand words? Am I able to understand? Did he just say more?

I mumble something, and it actually makes him chuckle a bit…what the fuck did I just say? Gentle, smentle, he's somehow managed to hack my brain and shut down all of my considerable intelligence. The fiend must be stopped! But…maybe in about three hours time…you know, give him an opportunity to either confess or turn himself in. Meanwhile, I think all the blood in my body has decided to join in the dance between my spread…wait, how did my legs get so far apart? Dear god, I never knew I was that flexible! But anyway, blood, between legs, oh _yeah_.

He's laughing outright now, and being such the bad thing that it is, he actually stops! Oh no, this won't do at all. Shoving my hair behind my ears…god, I really don't like it down…I try to glare at him when he still has two fingers buried inside of me. Yes, that blushing is from me, and yes, I do feel ridiculous. "Heero…please…"

He gasps as I gently grasp his wrist, the muscles in his shoulders writhing as my eyes lock with his, and I push him deeper. A slight flash of pain, soothed by the look in his eyes; like Duo, but much stronger, more _there_. "Heero…" I murmur again, undulating my hips so that he's fingering me _properly_, and I make the funniest little sound as he finally begins to pick up the pace. "Better?" he whispers breathlessly, and I bite my lip as I nod frantically. "Oh Gods…don't stop…"

"I won't. I promise."

Flopping back down, whimpering as strong fingertips make shivery little patterns, in me, against me, withdrawing, advancing. Bright flashes of light, exploding behind my closed eyes, abstract patterns of white and green that make me think of the others, before his lips bring me back to the reality of _him_. His tongue tenderly exploring, tasting, and then funny thing is, I can taste _me_. I can hear myself cry out, shoving _down_, and I make him groan as I ride his fingers like it's the last thing I will ever do. Oh yeah, hell yeah, gentle and sweet and all mine.

The sheets twist beneath me, pressure like bands across my spine and the back of my thighs, and I feel the hand spreading me shift, so that fingers interlace with mine. I'm choking now, on the cries threatening to escape me, muttering half nonsense as my eyes open, to see him staring worriedly at me, brushing soft lips across my cheek. I'm nearly crying, he's so gentle, and I hate to admit it, but I bloody do feel like crying. Despite my overused and odd sense of humour, this is…this is…

"Shhh, Wufei….please…don't…"

"Oh Gods…Heero…do it, I can't _take_ it anymore…" I reach for him, trembling, hands locking on his shoulders, and I try to express the frantic need that just burst inside of my belly, like fruit exploding from the heat of the sun. He bites his lip, looking down as his fingers scissor me wide just the once, before he withdraws, and I nearly wail on the disappointment. "Please!" Hot hands, one slick and the other smooth, rest on my hips, fingertips massaging the cheeks of my ass slowly, before I'm flipped so fast I nearly faint from the overload.

I quake, burying my head in the pillow and raising my ass in the air, as a scratchy-squeaky sound heralds the sudden reappearance of the lube. My hands are just in front of me, crossed over neatly at the wrist, and I push my knuckles into the headboard as his hands, now both slick, rest on my upper thighs and lift me even higher. I shudder as hot lips graze against the shell of my ear, turning into it even as warm breath makes me want to turn away, and he hisses, "Ready?"

Ready? Oh Gods, how can I ever be ready for _this_?

It rises. Like a terrible serpent from deep inside me, rumbling and roaring, the purr turned into the liquid wail of need and want and desire…"_Oh God, fuck me, Heero!"_

There are small cries of surprise, both inside and out of this room, and I realise that must have been quite a bit louder than I had originally thought it would be. Fuck. "Do it, please, need…need you…please! Don't stop! You said you wouldn't! You _promised_!" Fuck, this is embarrassing. But I can't stop. It's like…it's not me anymore, like I've been scattered to the four corners of the world by a destructive wind. And…that scream…I barely sounded human. I'm more animal than man right now, and the thought just makes the ache between my legs even stronger. "Please…"

"I did promise…" he murmurs, sounding amused and yet…somehow _scared_…all at the same time, and I moan happily as the head of his cock presses against my tingling opening. "And besides…while I want this to be gentle…"

He pushes forwards so fast…one moment empty, the next so full I feel like I'm splitting apart…that I scream again, sounding utterly delighted and ashamed of myself…

"I _want_ to hear you scream."

My shoulders writhe as I push myself up, so I'm not pressed face first and suffocating into the damn pillow, and I pant as I _try_ to adjust to the thick length inside of me. I'm too tight, not stretched enough, I can tell, but surprisingly enough it doesn't hurt at all. Not like it had with Duo, but the pleasure isn't as good as it was with him, either. Maybe I'm numb?

Like that thought released the shock of entry, pain and pleasure flooded me, and Heero held me close as my body was wracked with shivers, my throat expelling tiny cries of agony and ecstasy. He held me close, hands sliding up until they held my chest, and I could feel his fingers twitching with the rapid beat of my heart. "Alright? Wufei, are you ok?" Huh. Now you wanna know if I'm okay. Well, sorry, Beasty Yuy, but Wufei isn't here right now. Please leave a message at the first orgasm.

He laughs, dark and breathless, and my skin twitches as a sweaty forehead rests on my spine, scorching breath washing over my raised bones. "Message?" Oh fuck. I said that aloud? "Alright. Hmmm…how about, 'Now would be a good time to relax, and just go with the flow', as Duo says occasionally." He licked a path over my ribs, until he was nibbling at my side, my neck, my ear, and he readjusts our position so that he's taking most of the weight…and the force…of our joined bodies. "Better?" I nod wordlessly. "Want me to move?"

He laughs again as I curse his name in a dozen different languages.

"I'm not a cunt, and I'm not a tease. Sit up for me, Wufei."

I don't know how I manage it…I'm sure there's an infestation of red striped grasshoppers under my skin, making it twitch and move like that…and he helps me until I can get a grip on the headboard with my hands. "Heero…you better not be planning something evil" I growl, and he nuzzles my neck as he scoots us both forward. "No. Gentle. Please, let me show you."

"As long as you _move_. Gods, do you know how frustrating it can be when you don't move?" I can feel him shake his head, and I sigh as I'm nearly pressed against the headboard, the small movement creating _some_ friction, at least. "It's like…going into a sweet shop, and having the money for the sweet, but being denied it anyw----oh fuck. Oh fuck. Ohfuckfuckfuck…"

He starts with the shallowest thrusts, hands wrapped like iron bands across my chest and holding me close to him. He rests his chin on the junction of my shoulder and neck, and before my eyes close I see him lick his lips, swallowing hard. The movement…shallow, sweet and deep, never pulling him out more than two inches at the time…quickly establishes a rhythm that has me panting. "Hmmm…." he sighs, the hands around me squeezing, as my head falls back, and hot lips suck next to the hicky Duo established days ago. I can feel his sharp pelvis bones pressing against my ass, his sac a warm weight that disappears and reappears occasionally, like a tantalising mirage of some kind. Oh Gods, what am I thinking anyway?

"Oh…my…god…" I pant, and I can feel him smile, lips still pressed against my over sensitive skin. "You can think of me as a god, if you wish" he whispers, and I have to smile or I'll smack him one. "Very…funny….oh no….oh fuck no….yes…no…oh God…"

"Make up your mind…" he whispers again, and I whimper as one smooth, gentle thrust strikes me directly on my prostate, making my cock twitch and throb. "It's made up" I moan, and start to move on top of him, practically bouncing up and down on his lap. I can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he speeds up a little, matching my rhythm, and then surpassing it. His cock is big, feeling bigger than what it probably actually is, and I know it's only because I'm not stretched enough…but it feels so _good…_

A hand slides down my abdomen, pausing to press deeply into my belly button….I wriggle, nearly crying as the pressure from the touch makes me clamp down on him…before it drops to my lap, fingers gently playing with anything they can find. "Feels good?" he murmurs in my ear, and I nod as fast as I can. "Does this feel good?" I expel that animal shriek again as the hand digs lower, pressing down against the skin stretched over his thrusting cock, and I nod madly, taking one arm off the headboard to reach behind me and wrap around the back of his head. "More…"

"More of this?" That finger, that maddening, irresistible, God damned to hell finger _slips inside while he is_, and I'm silent as all the air empties from my lungs. Gods, he's more of a hentai than I am! He stops his movements, making me shudder, and just before I'm about to berate him he slides it deeper. Rubbing his cock inside me, as well as the muscle walls gripping him. I don't know whether to kill him, or start a temple and worship him for all my days.

Duo was beyond compare. He's beyond compare. Yet he seems to have more knowledge than Duo has…but he has none of the unrestrained passion, the fire of the lust that Duo has. No, his is more like banked coals…why am I comparing them anyway? They're equally fantastic!

You know, I think part of my brain just died.

"Heero…what the hell…?"

"Do you like this?" You know, if I didn't know any better….I'd swear he's learning something. And that means….well, you only learn something if you have use for it, right? So…he's learning about my body, it's sensitive spots, and the places that hurt…because he wants to do this again…better…Perfect Soldier, my ass! He's a bloody perfectionist!

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing…

"I'll tell you when I don't like it. Judge…for yourself…whether or not…I like it. Screams…should let…you know…"

He gasps for a moment, leaning heavily against me, and I can feel his rib cage pressing into the crawling skin on my back. "Right" he finally gasps, and the finger withdraws bare seconds before he surges into motion again, making me cry out as two sure hands curl around the base of my cock. He pumps it fluidly, his thrusts deeper and more biting as his hips withdraw him more, and I make small grunts of pleasure as the movement strikes a deep cord within me, as well as occasionally my prostate. Something primal, and old, and a part of me so alien I was barely aware of it before this.

He quickens…so fast, an unprecedented pace for us…as my hand leaves it's place behind his head, holding more securely onto the headboard as our movements threaten to bash me against it. His small cries….my desperate moans, and harsh whimpers…fill my ears, and our eyes lock as we turn our heads, icy blues melting and freezing so fast it makes my breath catch…

Nearly there…

"_FUCK!_" I scream, as I finally come, the denied pleasure now coursing through me so fast I'm having a very bloody hard…heh, hard, I made a funny…a hard time staying conscious. My cum goes _everywhere_, splattering against his hands, my chest, the headboard, the sheets…I can't care. I physically _can't_. I'm…oh fuck….so hard…coming so fucking _hard_…I cry out again, wailing and clamping down as I seat myself fully on him, and he holds me as my hips writhe to their own dance. "Oh Gods….oh…._oh_…."

"Oh, _Wufei_…you're so fucking _beautiful! _That's it…gentle now, gently…"

I slump against him, pressing a hand to my eyes, wiping away the sweat that's coursing off of me like rain. I…can't…stop…shaking. Can't. I turn my head, blinking my eyes free of the tears that were finally released, only to have his awe stricken beautiful face confront mine. He whimpers before he kisses me again, chocolate mink hair brushing feathery light against my skin, and I sigh as I recline more onto him, his hands still milking the last drops out of my cock. His lips release mine, chaste and sweet and all consuming, and I smile unknowingly as I gaze into liquid glaciers masquerading as God damn sexy eyes.

"Heero…thank you…"

He smiles, a little wateringly, and then his face scrunches as he…oh shit. He didn't come before? I gasp, as he thrusts one last time, seating himself fully as the most free sound I have _ever_ heard escape Heero Yuy's lips makes my blood sing. I hold onto the arm still around my waist, petting it soothingly as liquid fire surges from the throbbing mass inside me, making little whispery noises as his cries flow together into one, continuous wail. "Let it go…let it all go."

"I _can't_."

"You can…I'm right here. With you." I press my lips against his, as he fights the release his body is begging for, making him look into my eyes again. "I'm right here. Let it go, and I'll be here."

With a little scream, he _does_, and I nearly faint at the sublime pleasure scrawling across his now relaxed face. Gods….did I look like that? Duo certainly did…but did I?

As one we fall onto our sides, and I think I'm asleep before I hit the mattress. You know, those strange sleeps, where you're aware of what's going on around you, yet you know you're asleep? I felt him slowly move out of me, tenderly, pressing kisses against my skin even though he knew I was unconscious, unable to reciprocate. I felt him clean me of the mess we had made together, licking us clean when a towel didn't go far enough. I heard him sigh, heard him whisper my name as he laid down behind me, wrapping arms around my waist again. I felt his stomach press close against my back, and heard the whispered conversation that followed after Duo knocked and entered. I felt the braided boys lips touch mine briefly, before Heero pulled him down in front of me, and Duo placed his hands on a clear spot on my chest, making sure he wasn't touching Heero or encroaching on his…territory?

I remember falling deeper asleep between two gorgeous boys, who were discussing my little swearing problem with obvious amusement. Obnoxious bastards. Don't mind this grin, it means _nothing._

I want some sweet corn, too.

You know what? I'm pretty sure they didn't actually discuss sex at all, before they both followed me close after into the realms of the sleep gods. Hmmm. Interesting…

One: Why didn't they?

And Two: What was Duo doing…cough, cough, wink, wink….to make himself so tired?

At least I have excuskldhss……zzzz……..z.z…z…zzzz…..


	5. Intermission: Minor Cuts & Abrasions

… … … … …

Intermission – Minor Cuts And Abrasions 

… … … … …

I'm not exactly sure when I woke up. I know it was night time, that much was obvious with the starlight from the window, the soothing blue shadows on the wall. I knew it was late, because I couldn't hear any noise at all from other areas of the stupidly small apartment, meaning Trowa and Quatre must have gone to bed. And Heero and Duo were sound asleep, still curled around me like a living blanket, and I took stock of the current situation.

I was naked. From what I could tell, Heero was naked as well, taught skin pressed tightly against mine. Duo must have shucked his clothes earlier, for he's only in boxer shorts, braid wrapped around one arm as he snores softly. Me? I'm sore, I feel sticky, and I feel a little pissed that to get up, I'll have to wake them up. A small, sad smile crosses my lips, and I resign myself to the fact that I probably won't be able to escape from here till morning.

And damn, am I sore! He was so gentle...well, the _sentiment_ was gentle, at least...but that doesn't excuse the fact that in the past few days, I've had two things go where there has never been two things before. I should have expected the soreness…sore butt, sore back, sore ribs…but, seriously? That small pain only reminds me of what I've done….what we've done…it's a good thing, alright?

I sigh, and trace my fingertips across Duo's shadowed lips. Very good…

Oh fuck it. I _need _a shower!

"Up! Move, out of my way, out…." I push both of them with my arms, until they're groaning, disturbed from what must have been….for them…a very pleasant sleep. Duo's lips curl into a grimace, and I shake him until bleary cobalt eyes snap open, blinking rapidly. "What?"

"Get the _fuck _out of my way!" His eyes widen as I kick him off the bed, Heero making a resounding thud as he falls off the other side…and then my will to move leaves, dust flying from its rapid retreat. I sigh happily, wriggling deeper into the sheets, and ignore the two incredulous stares fixed on me, trying my darn hardest to get back to that peaceful dream I was having. A foot long sub, me, alone, flying on the back of a giant sea horse…

"Wufei…?"

"Shhh…the sub, it calls me…"

"He _is_ on drugs, isn't he?"

"No, Heero…I think he's tired. What did you guys _do_, anyway?"

You know…I could have sworn, as my eyes opened just a slit…that Heero blushed for a moment. "Uh…nothing?" Duo, once he finishes gaping, smirks with a troublesome idiosyncrasy that makes me try and crawl out of the sleepy hole I just dragged myself into. "Riiiiight…say, remember this at all? _'Fuck me, Heero!'_ The old lady next door heard it, and thinks we're all perverted freaks. No offence, 'Fei." Heero does blush this time, great big technicolour red, and I chuckle wearily as they drag themselves back onto the bed.

"You guys wore me out. And I need a shower. Anyone offering to drag this sorry carcass to hot water and cleansing soap…?"

They blink at me, before exchanging evil smiles and snickers, and I sigh resignedly as I try to get comfortable. "Thought not," I answer myself ruefully, and Heero shyly kisses my cheek before he says, "In a minute. I'm still not awake enough yet."

"Hmmm…too good for me, Beasty Yuy."

"Not good enough" he murmurs, and I blink as his warm, soft mouth covers mine. Wow. Pleasantness. Yanno, a guy could get used to all these kisses…but since I have two lovers, will I ever get used to it? Is what we have even a part of normality?

Aw, shit, who gives a flying fuck off an opera house balcony.

I roll him onto his back, lips still locked, and my eyes lazily close as our tongues twine about each other like serpents. His skin is so soft, and warm…the muscles rippling beneath it so _tempting_, something you have to rub your fingers over, just to test them…

Reaching blindly around me, lips drawing and closing with surprising swiftness against Heero's, I catch a loosely curled hand, and drag the owner of said object towards me. Duo lands next to Heero with a stunned cry, and I regretfully disengage that wonderful kiss, so I can look down at the both of them.

Despite the only light being from the stars, I can see them clearly enough for the sight to take my breath away. Looking up at me, both with the tiniest smiles on beautiful lips, limbs loose and relaxed and eyes lazy with the sleep I so rudely intruded upon. Gods, they're so _magnificent_. And they're…mine…

"Beautiful…" I murmur, rubbing a hand over Duo's chest, and he gulps as his eyes lock with Heero's for a moment before snapping back to me. "So feral…so fucking _wild_…" They both blink up at me for a moment, before Duo cracks a smile, his eyes crinkling with laughter. "I'm not some animal, 'Fei, alright?" I shake my head, smiling a little also, and say in a whisper, "I know. I was just remembering…how you let it all go…you were like I was, with Heero." Heero licks his lips and sighs, eyes closing, and Duo studies him for a moment before looking back up at me. "'Fei?….why are you sitting like that…?"

Oh. Right. Just because I'm letting _no contact_ from them or the bed, with the lower half of my body…it means nothing, alright? I mean, _no contact_ isn't really an ironclad law or rule, and _no contact_ doesn't necessarily mean- alright. Alright, alright…so I'm so sore I can't bear the thought of even sitting down a _little_. Not that I have to let them know. Nope.

Heero turns to Duo, a slightly worried expression on his face. "I think he's sore." Thanks a lot, Beasty Yuy! You assho- ouch. Even the word makes me cringe…heh.

Teething gel. That's what I need.

Never ask me how I know that.

"'Fei?" Duo pushes himself up on one arm, braid swinging behind him, and Heero closely inspects my face with widened Prussian eyes, the slant there extended by luminous starlight.

"Not that bad," I mumble, turning away, and gingerly sit down, expecting the worse, even though I want to prove I can do so. Uh…okay…..more gently…oh _fuck_. So….I can't exactly prove I can do it, since it's so bloody obvious I can't. I sigh as I grab onto their arms, already there when I began to sway a little, and I let them pull me down so that I'm lying on my side, between their tense bodies.

I'm face to face with Heero, and he bites his lips as he runs a cautious hand up my side. Why does he look so…so…worried? "I'm so sorry, Wufei…" he whispers, and my eyes widen as I understand his timidness. Oh, hell no. He didn't exactly cause this, and I won't have anyone beating themselves up on my sake! "Listen…this was bound to happen" I say softly, running a hand across his chest, leaning in to press a gentle, biting kiss above his right nipple. "It'll go away. You know how fast we all heal…"

"But…" Duo starts, and I turn to hush him, one finger against his lips. "Shhh" I whisper, to emphasize the command, and they both watch me as I swing myself to the edge of the bed.

"Minor cuts and abrasions. Not even worth the teething gel…Gods, don't ask. I'll go have a shower, and I'll be right back, okay?"

They nod silently, sitting up to watch me leave, and I roll my eyes when my back is to them. It's…nice, that they care so much, but hell, it's kinda annoying. Having relied on myself for so long…my life, my own….fending off the countless depression that used to make up my daily life…

It's weird…to have others care…

"Wufei…uh…you're bleeding…"

Well, alright, maybe not so weird.

"Chemist _now_, teething gel, Aloe Vera cream, and then the supermarket for ice creams for all of us." They blink at me, slightly horrified eyes glued to the back of my thighs, and I glare as I snap my fingers. "Now!" I want to laugh as they both pull on their clothes, running out the door even before I give them some credits to play with.

Not so weird at all.

Now…about that shower…


	6. Intermission: Icecream Sandwiches And

… … … … …

Intermission – Ice-cream Sandwiches and Teething Gel 

… … … … …

"These are really good." Duo's making an absolute pig of himself again, ice-cream pretty much everywhere else but in his mouth. His black t-shirt is covered in it. His hair is, too. His face looks like the back of a refrigerator that hasn't been cleaned in months. Me and Heero watch in horrified silence, yet we're both loathe to burst the little bubble of happiness he's surrounded himself in. It's not like we're cruel people, after all.

"Yummy."

"Yup."

So, we don't say anything, until Quatre wanders in, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"What the fuck is that?" He blinks at the stunned Duo, who has the messy remains of what used to be a ice-cream sandwich halfway to his mouth. With a small plop, it drops onto his lap, and he gazes at it mournfully as Heero stares at Quatre, no doubt surprised by his swearing. I put my hand in the mess on Duo's lap, drawing some ice-cream away and putting it to my own lips.

Yeah, hentai, whoo-hoo.

Duo starts giggling, and suddenly his lap is free for all…for himself and me, since Heero and Quatre don't seem very interested at all…and we use his legs as a plate. "Really yummy" he comments, and I nod a him with a grin. Quatre blinks, and then flops down next to Heero. "Wufei, why are you lying on the couch with your legs in the air like that?"

I sniff haughtily, and decide not to answer such an asinine query.

"His ass is sore" Heero explains, and Quatre blushes and buries his head in his hands. Duo snorts, and starts choking on the remains of biscuit hiding somewhere in his mouth, and I growl menacingly. I wouldn't have exactly put it like _that_…

"Sorry, Wufei" Heero says sincerely, and I wriggle a little, to show him I'm not angry.

"Does it really hurt, Wufei?" Quatre asks, his aquamarine eyes wide with concern, and I growl warily as he leans over me a little, blonde hair glowing like a halo around his head from the fluorescent light behind him. "It's okay" I mutter, and Heero and Duo manage to look furtively guiltily, even though I explained to them…at length…that it wasn't their fault. Stupid, self-blaming boys…

"We've got him some things to help, risking life and limb, but he refuses to use them." They both glare at me, Heero rubbing a bruise on his temple, Duo a graze on his upper arm, and I roll my eyes as Quatre hesitantly rubs my back. Alright, maybe not so much self-blaming as Wufei-blaming. Yeah. Go me.

Alright, so they might have risked life and limb, as they so casually put it, but it doesn't sound so bad from my perspective. I mean, that old lady with the mace could have been easily subdued. They were right next to a butchers when the bulldog attacked; plenty of fresh meat to use as a distraction, if they had used their minds instead of their survival instincts. That poor dog…the chemist was _not_ a drug lord; having a moustache, several hundred tattoo's and six bodyguards doesn't make you a vice king. And that incident with the bus…? They do _not_ chase you with sadistic intent, believe you me.

"Pussy's" I mutter, and Quatre tries to hide a grin as they gasp indignantly.

Then suddenly…I have the strangest idea. It refuses to go away, as well, so I at least give it the courtesy it deserves and listen to its instructions carefully. "Oh…Quatre?" I ask, in my most seductive voice.

"Eh?"

Oh….better brush up on my seduction voice, because…apparently…I sound like a hedgehog with a cold while using it.

"Fuck it" I mutter, and wriggle around on the couch until I'm on my back, carefully lifting my hips into the air. "Would you mind…terribly….using that stuff on me?" I ask innocently, and smile when Duo and Heero cough instantaneously. Quatre looks at them from under his bangs…oh my, what's this...? and then smirks while they're not looking, staring me straight in the eye with suddenly devious intent.

Oh…

"Wufei…you want me to stick my fingers up your ass?"

…shit.

"I wouldn't mind that at all…" he murmurs thoughtfully, and I gasp, eyes wide with surprise, as a surprisingly strong hand clamps down on my hip. Fuck, he's _strong_. Almost as strong as me and Heero, and we've been _trained_ to be like that, in all areas of our bodies. What the hell…?

He notices me, probably because I'm staring at his hand and gaping like a landed trout, and that slow smirk lights up his angelic face again. "You don't think Sandrock's weapons are based on nothing, do you…? I've been training with swords for most of my life. I don't like using them, though…but I do if I have to…" He leans over me, eyes flickering across the planes of my face, and Heero and Duo gasp as his other hand presses down on my crotch. Oh…fuck…me… "Would it be terribly forward if I kissed you, Wufei, right now?" he asks breathlessly, and I remember that his room is right next to mine…and whoever else happens to be sharing…

What did he hear?

What did he…gulp…imagine?

Ersatz Quatre is bloody right, ain't it.

Nice, polite, closet bred pervert. Just my bloody luck. Seriously, I'm a lucky, lucky man!

"Lucky man…" I murmur, and then I surprise the hell out of all of us…

"But no" I whisper, tone regretful as I trace a hand over his high cheekbones. "Tomorrow, maybe, if I don't feel like somebody's tried to rape me with a leaf blower." His face falls for a moment, before he tries to hide it with a smile, and I grin as Duo and Heero exchange a glance I can't interpret.

"I said no to the _finger_ thing…_kissing_, however, sounds like a good remedy for pain."

Duo sighs theatrically, flopping back onto the ground and sending ice cream flying, and Heero shakes his head as he starts typing on his laptop. When did he go and get that…?

Oh well. It's only Quatre that matters at the moment, and I'm glad the others are sensible enough to realise it. Or perhaps they're really just amusing my sense of pride...but that doesn't matter, really, since both things achieve the same effect. He, meanwhile, smiles so brightly I feel like I should be wearing sunglasses.

"Wait…is there anything you need to tell me, before…before you kiss me?" Fuck, I'm blushing. When was the last time _that_ happened? But…well, Quatre appears so innocent sometimes it's hard to believe he can be as devious as the devil himself. So right now…and this is true, and I kinda hate myself for it…I'm feeling shy.

"Tell you what, exactly?" He raises a golden eyebrow, aquamarine eyes glimmering with laughter. "That I'm an exhibitionist, a bit of a whore, and most of the time I top? That I've fucked people before, and have been fucked by them? That my last experience was with a girl who liked to bark like a dog when she came? Oh Wufei, I have many, many things to tell, and one night…or indeed, the space of time before I kiss you…wouldn't be long enough by half."

There's a thud somewhere. It could be my jaw. It could be Duo's head exploding. Most likely it's Heero's laptop, and I wince as I remember his love for the mechanical being. And then what Quatre said kinda catches up to me in one, big impressive swirl, and I start gasping.

"You…_what?"_

"Is this going to be a problem?" He looks kind of uncertain now, even though his hand…God, he has such a firm grip…is rubbing the material over my suddenly awakened erection. Go, builder set, go! "I _am_ clean, I get tested after every time, and I make sure that whoever I'm with is clean too. And I'm not a slut exactly…just a spoilt brat rebelling against Daddy. In fact…," and now he looks slightly mournful, "…I haven't had sex in two and a half years."

"Babbla, babbla, babbla…"

Yeah, that's me babbling. Shut up. Could _you_ speak intelligibly after someone's dropped a mother load…from Quatre, no less!...on you like that?

"No. No problem at all. When I'm a little better, I want you to fuck me raw again."

Okaaaay…so maybe I can speak a little. Quatre looks pleased. Heero looks vaguely horrified, but there's a hint of amusement curling around his lips. Duo looks completely shocked.

"Can we do it in the elevator?" Quatre asks, a hint of a breathless tone in his voice. I blink. An elevator? Oh sure, I have a hell of a lot of porn that shows this to be a very, _very_ good thing, but I'm still a little doubtful. An _elevator_?

"Sure thing" my mouth answers, while my brain stares at me like I'm a retard. How can a person think when they have an angel rubbing their sac? "Do me in there for hours, if you like. Or…tell you what…you fuck me, come, finger fuck me until you're hard again, and then fuck me harder than before, we can do it in a glass one, if you like."

What?

What the _fuck_ did I just say?

They all stare at me, and Quatre stops his ministrations, eyes widening, but I can't help it. Off my mouth goes again, like a retard escaping bullies with metal on his legs. Run, tongue and lips, ruuuuun!

"Yeah….and maybe after _that_, you chain me outside in the cold, on the roof maybe, and in a few hours come and fuck me again, to make me warm up. And then we can explore the options of several instruments I have hidden away, and the purpose of batteries and lubricant in a young man's life. I can't believe I'm saying this." I glare at all of them, wagging a finger. "Porn does this to you, gentlemen, and brings your darkest fantasies to life. Don't try this at home, at a friend's house, indeed, _never_ try this. Fuck me, I'm tired. What am I saying?"

"Wufei, you're sore and tired" Quatre says soothingly, smoothing my hair from my suddenly sweaty forehead. "You need to rest, or you won't get better. Come on, we'll take you to bed."

Suddenly…to my horror…I cringe. "Not right now, it kinda…it kinda…"

"Just to sleep" he croons, still smoothing my forehead as he gets Duo and Heero to pick me up. He then glares at them a little. "He's like this because he's overloading, physically and mentally. He has no control of what he's saying, and he doesn't mean half of what he says, alright?" They nod, and Duo brushes my forehead with the gentlest of kisses, eyes filled with a soft kind of light. "My 'Fei….sleep, and we'll watch over you. You're so brave…to do all this for _us_…we don't deserve you…"

"Hmmm…" Heero hums, a quiet, sad melody I've never heard before, and kisses me gently, on the tip of my nose. "Gentle, Wufei…gently now…"

And Quatre presses his lips to mine, and I nearly scream from the overload he sweeps through. His…oh Gods, his _empathy_…

"When…or if… I have sex with you, I put heart, soul and mind into it" he whispers, almost whimpering, and brushes my lips again. _Affection. Deep weariness_. "If…if you don't want me to…" _Sadness, rejection, unbearable loneliness_. "I won't" he finishes with a whisper, and I feel something…deep inside, something I've forgotten, I know that much…break a little.

_Affection. Deep, unsurpassable affection. Warmth. Sadness. Joy. Anger. Relief. Relief, freedom, affection, relieved loneliness. Want. Need. Yearning. Deep seated yearning._ For an angel who stopped because he scared his lovers so much, he couldn't bear to be near any of them again…two of them, a girl and a boy his own age, in a camp in the desert…I don't know how I know, but I do, and that knowledge...it's knowledge gained, none the less. I send him all I can, and somewhere in the sending and his sudden, glorious smile, I pass out.

And three suns revolve around me, their light breathtaking and beautiful…

A cold moon, begging to be a star, watches from the doorway before he leaves…

And Quatre's touch lets me feel the unbearable sadness inside of him.

Trowa.

And then, somehow, I start telling them in my sleep about that food fetish I developed while thirteen, and thought I was well rid of...


	7. Intermission: It's All In The Groove

… … … … …

Intermission – It's All In The Groove

… … … … …

I don't know exactly why I didn't take Quatre up on his...er...'offer'...for the elevator thingy. This building, however horrendously designed, _does_ have one, and it's walls are covered with ceiling to floor mirrors. Ultimately kinky, right? But...hell, if you ever repeat this to anyone, I will barbecue you alive...I was worried about Trowa.

He was against this, you see...even though...I know he wants it.

I know I sound conceited, and sure of myself...but hell, he got hard from me and Heero just _kissing_. And though he doesn't seem jealous of the others, and I know this sounds nuts, it seems like he's jealous of me. And I don't know why.

Which is why I'm sitting on the garden wall next to him, watching him work silently on his bike.

The ultimate sacrifice, eh? I'm still in a lot of pain, believe it or not, even though it's been three days. It's winding down though...I can sit, at least...and the bleeding stopped a long time ago. And no, it wasn't from being fucked too hard. In my opinion, you can never be fucked too hard.

They just rubbed me raw, is all, and it's a wonderful feeling, once you get over the initial shock.

I hand Trowa a spanner when he looks around, and he stares at me for a long, breathless moment.

Trowa in ordinary light is pretty, in a macho, silent type kind of way. Trowa in full sunlight, shirtless, kneeling on the ground with greasy tools in his hand, is beyond realms of sexual turn ons, heading straight for erogenous heaven.

Poetic-ness in me, die. Die, die, die.

But...

Bright green eyes, not a hint of humanity or awareness in them, sparkling none the less with a light I know can only be consciousness, and if not, nervousness, a little apprehension. He's tall, and graceful, and muscular; he reminds me of a lion...yes, I get it, shut up...that's been forced to stand on his hind legs and elongate. All power and grace, you understand? His hair might be a little strange...the forelock is bloody unnatural...but it's a lovely auburn colour, making me think he has either some Mediterranean or Irish blood mixed in with his heritage. Pale skin, narrow bones, thin fingers, thin as a blade nose...he looks either like someone bordering on anorexia, or a beautiful statue. Something you feel good just _staring _at.

Like I am. He blinks at me, and the light in his eyes flares a little. His lips tighten, in a grimace I think, and he takes it as he loosens the lug nuts on the back wheel.

"Got barbs?"

He doesn't look around, yet I sense a small response in the set of his shoulders, the relaxed state of his body. _'Yes.'_

"Hughes highway?"

He shakes his head a little, his left foot shifting back behind the other, his hands tightening a bit more than necessary on the spanner. '_Been down that road too, eh?'_

"Yeah...bitch to go on."

He tilts his head as he patiently works a greasy piece of metal free from its slide, wiping it with a cloth before setting it careful aside. His head is tilted a little bit to the left. _'And rough as guts, as well, don't forget that.'_

"Nope, I won't. Did you hit the potholes?"

He turns around, dropping the spanner, and just looks at me again, raising his eyebrows. I blush a little...not that I mean to...and carefully play with he end of my ponytail. It's not like I'm so desperate to talk to him I'm making answers from his body language, or anything...

"Well?" I ask, feeling defensive as I fold my hands in front of my chest. "Did you?"

He tilts his head to the side, and stares at me like I'm crazy. '_Yes. I also ran into a patch of barbed thorns from being pushed off the road by said...potholes, was it?...and I do not appreciate the fact that you were also on the road. At the moment, I do not want anything in connection with me, coming from you.'_

"That's just wrong! You can't speak to me like that! Not when I haven't prompted such a verbose argument...and why don't you want anything connected with me affecting you? What sort of answer is that?" I glare at him, swinging my feet from my...very precarious, and considerably uncomfortable seat...and his one visible emerald eye widens considerably. "What the hell?"

"Ah, you use your mouth as well." I nod sagely, and pat him on the cheek...a little condescendingly, yes, but he's starting to piss me off. "You finished with that? Good. Come on, I want you to come listen to music with me, in my room."

He lets me drag him up the stairs, thank God, a bemused expression hanging vaguely in the air around him. I don't particularly want to use the elevator at the moment, thank you very much.

I don't remember much of what I said the other night, but I guess it was pretty bad, considering the others won't come near me at the moment.


	8. Intermission: Cruel Devices

… … … … …

Intermission – Cruel Devices...

… … … … …

I can't believe he actually followed me into my room.

I know damn well we made some jaws drop, because I saw Duo sprawled on the floor, gaping like one of those clowns at a carnival, his game boy thingy dropping from his twitching hands. Heero turned when he saw me, and ran straight into a wall...and stayed there like he meant to do it all along. There's no sign of Quatre, though he did mention he had to grab some material and thread from a sewing shop...must have ripped his shirt again. Not that any of us want to _destroy_ those horrendous shirts, or anything...

So, yeah. Here I am, holding Bang-Boy by the hand...him still shirtless, glistening with the slightest sheen of sweat...walking side by side like sweethearts, until I have to pull him in the door.

I push him onto the bed, and sit beside him, staring at him curiously. He stares right back.

"What sort of music do you like?"

I don't expect an answer, so I'm not terribly, completely surprised when I do not receive one. Trowa Barton is a very taciturn, mysterious, sometimes wise and above all silent individual. I was probably in the right direction when I thought he might start flapping his arms and squawking like a chicken. That would be more forthcoming than any answer from those sweet, pale, bow shaped lips.

Mmm hmmm mmm hmmm mumph. Yummy.

"I borrowed a mixed C-D from Duo. You wanna listen to that?"

No answer. No twitch. He just stares at me, and I take this as a silent signal for 'yes'. Hey, I have to get my kicks somehow, and honestly...I really am worried about him. He had crawled from his shell a bit these past few months, hanging around all of us, but since I became a selfish, insensitive slut, he hasn't been speaking to anyone...at all. He's worrying me to death.

"Good-oh. Hey, you wanna turn on that lamp? Those blinds are stuck, have been since...well, since I freaked the others out. I think it might have had something to do with fondue..." He does as I ask silently, while I root around in my backpack, trying to find the slim circular pocket that holds all of my C-Ds...whether they're mine or not.

I slip the disk into the wall unit all our rooms have, and pull him down beside me, as I sprawl on my belly, turning my head so I can look at him. Silent. No expression. Eyes flat. But he's lying on his side, at least, still looking at me, and I sigh quietly as I reach behind me blindly to find the on switch.

The sound of an acoustic guitar drifts through the room, and I blink as the words start to flow.

There's something...I can't quite work it out, the English is so old...about a girl, and she's with other guys, and this guys' depressed and lonely. Uh...alrighty, I may not be the best judge of character, but this sort of reflects what's happening at the moment. I swear there's the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes as I slap at the unit again, biting my lip.

Silence, before another guitar, this time sounding electric.

"_Every time we lie awake, after every hit we take..."_

Ah. More grief. I go to hit the stupid, mother...God, I try to slap at it, but he holds my hand, eyes suddenly dark.

"_Every feeling that I get, but I haven't missed you yet..."_

He won't let go of my hand. Not...not that he's scaring me, or anything.

"_Every room mate kept awake, by every silent scream we make..."_

I bite my lip again, and his eyes...so dark, and cold, they appear to be a forest green instead of their usual sparkling emeralds...suck me deeper into something I don't understand.

"_All the feelings that I get, but I still don't miss you yet..."_

Silence. Oh God, I've never been so afraid of silence before.

"_Only when I stop to think about it..."_

"Trowa...?"

"_I...hate...everything about you..."_

"Oh..." I try to pull myself away, but suddenly...

His arms are around me. Loosely, and tentatively, as if he can't believe he's doing it, and his quiet shaking makes me so scared...for him. I might have said attracted...but hell, I care about them too, in a way I've never cared about anyone before. I don't like to see any of them like this.

And by quiet...I mean the small, moaning sounds he's making are quiet. Almost inaudible. But there.

"_Why...do I...love you?"_

"Not like that" he whispers, as I tense in his arms, my first instinctive reaction to push him away as quickly as possible. "The border between love and hate...I've always believed there was a border. Like, Wufei. I like you. But...but I don't want to do to you what you think I have to."

I blink, lying in his shuddering arms, and try to digest...for him...the veritable flood of words pouring from his trembling lips. And suddenly, I understand.

"You think...you think I'm doing this for another reason? That I'm..."

"I think...that you're trying to make everybody feel better. I guess the others appreciate it...but I don't use my friends like that, Wufei, I don't." He's terrified...terrified that I'm _using_ myself, if only to improve moral...?

"Who told you that bullshit?" I whisper, tracing his jaw with my fingertips, and his beautiful green eyes widen a little.

"I like you, Trowa. I like you a lot. You're...incredibly, wonderfully beautiful, and you're nice. Gentle, and rough, and wild. I like your silence..." I trace his lips, feeling my own quirk into a sad grin..." But I like it when you talk even better. I _want_ this, Trowa. I want _you_. I can't help it if I'm hotwired to want the others, too."

"But..." I kiss him, to silence him, for silence can be a sweetness when you're with those you...you care for.

It's no ordinary kiss. Not like the one's I've been slowly practicing on the others, because that's the only way you learn, from experience. No. Into this I pour all the fear I have for him, all the tenderness I feel for him, mixed with the need and the want and the- it's sloppy, and it's rough, and he doesn't respond for so long I'm afraid I've made a terrible, unforgivable mistake.

But his lips start to move, shyly, against mine. No experience. Not between us. We...we don't shut our eyes, and I feel his touch like whispers. Like cobwebs, strung across a ceiling made out of the space between words. Like...silence. Oh glorious Gods, he's so slow.

Slow...slowness in his movements. Slow with his rhythm. Concentrating every fibre of his being in this one, unending, sorrowful embrace. He make's that part of me that breaks so easily shatter a little more. I don't know what it is. My conscious, perhaps? Because I feel so guilty, forcing him to do this.

Forcing him...

I break away, panting, and curl up around myself, sickened by my actions. Oh...oh no...I couldn't have, could I? Even I can't be that heartless! He stares at me, shining in his eyes, and I jerk away from the...whatever it is. I am that heartless! Oh Gods, what have I done! To all of them!

Duo...didn't kiss me back...until he got caught up in the moment.

Heero...forced because of a panic attack...gentle and sweet, but not all there.

Quatre...remembering his beloved friends...the one's who left because he couldn't control his empathy, and seeking an easing touch.

And Trowa.

I'm a sick, disgusting, hurtful spoilt little boy.

"Wufei...?"

"What have I _done_...to _you_...to _all_ of you..._forcing_ you to...why did I _have_ to...why am I...so selfish...heartless bastard. Oh Gods, you stupid heartless bastard. Stupid, selfish, son-of a bitch!"

His eyes widen, and then...he's gone. Gone. I am...that heartless...

I wasn't brought up this way! I was taught to respect all men, to treat them as equals, and women as well, because they are the lifeblood, they are the purer side of the race! Yet what do I do? Treat women like shit, and take advantage of people made vulnerable by my sheer proximity to them! No wonder I feel like shit! My family would _hate_ me for this, loathe the selfish, stupid person I've become! Hell, they won't even look at me, because I was stupid enough to be fucked raw and then got so tired every sick fucking stupid fantasy came pouring out like midsummer rains! I'm...I'm...

I'm so _sick..._

Never mind the fact that I'm gay, something my family didn't hate, but disapproved basically with the heirs only. How could I ever forget my duties? How could I ever force myself on people, and feel good because...reeled in by the moment...they respond the way I wanted them too? I should have stayed with my colony...let someone else take Nataku...should have...should have stayed home, with my books, and my memories...

Shouldn't have ever come to earth...

Should have just ignored their offers to join them, when they were first voiced...

I _forced_ them.

_Forced._

And my lungs clamp down so tight I'm not getting in any air at all.

And...

And...I don't see the point...in...in stopping it...


	9. Forced

… … … … …

Forced

… … … … …

"God damn it, Wufei!"

"'Fei, breathe, you son-of-a-bitch, _breathe!"_

I know I tremble a little, can feel it rattling in my bones, and they confirm it when their eyes light up. Heero. Duo. Even Trowa.

The people I've practically raped.

I'm trembling again, even slower than the first time, can see something flaring in their eyes, their beautiful eyes...feel it die as I stare at the ceiling. Staring, staring and staring, and not moving, and I can't believe what's just happened, but it has. It fucking well has.

My heart's stopped.

I... thought you were supposed to black out, when that happens, right? You're dea-...your brain's starved of oxygen, and therefore all centres of function are immediately shut down, including eyesight, touch, sound, smell. Why...why the hell do I still feel alive, in a sort of muted way? As if everything is underwater, and I'm in a lead tank of some kind, and nothing seems to make its way through...but it does?

I _forced_ them.

"_No!"_

"W-Wufei...?"

Quatre, falling to his knees...how can I see him? How can I smell him, a dusty, curiously empty smell, like he's been in an old shop? Oh...sewing things...he _was_ in a dusty shop...

How can I see him though? Smell him? I'm not breathing anymore.

"_Don't you fucking dare, you bastard!"_

"You didn't force me! You didn't! You _didn't!_"

Beautiful cobalt eyes, beautiful emerald eyes...over me, hovering, and I can't see their faces anymore. Finally...blackness, of a sort. I had the insane feeling I would be like that forever, feeling as my body decomposed, when they burnt me or put me in the cold, unforgiving earth...their eyes hang like jewels set in velvet.

"Chang, you come back right now! You hear me? That's a direct fucking order, so you come back, and you don't leave me! Don't leave _us_!"

Beautiful Prussian eyes...jagged with the ice melting and reforming...sapphire on black jewellers velvet.

"_Wufei!"_ Quatre's howl hung in the air...like the strident song of a bronze bell...like the piercing cry of an eagle, or some shit like that. And...

_Fear, deep fear, total fear, deep, unending fear and loneliness and depression...hope...hope, remorse, guilt, hope, hope._

"He's still in there, he isn't gone! Bring him back! _Bring him back, bring him back!_"

They look at him for a moment...sparkling jewel eyes turning to lapis lazuli filled with tears...and then the strangest sensation begins.

Like someone's kissing me. Running hands down my chest.

But...it...it hurts.

Lips clamped over mine, forcing air...air where it's stopped moving, where it doesn't need to go anymore.

Hands, nearly breaking my ribs...flat, flat against the top half of my chest, crushing me with their rhythm.

1...2...3...4...5...

Lips again, the same set, inflating me with the scent of peppermint. Duo?

1...2...3...4...5...

One last breath is forced into me, and the whole world explodes.

I start coughing, the bands around my chest constricting rapidly, arching off the bed as my eyes squeeze tightly shut. The _feeling_. Everything, everything a hundred times sharper, a hundred times clearer. I can _feel_ where dust motes have left passages in the air, tiny currents like the whiskers of catfish, brushing into each other. They sound like mountains colliding. Like continents collapsing.

The whole world's ending with this clarity.

And then...I'm me. Stupid, coughing, gasping, weak and useless me. No anything clearer. No anything sharper. The whole world...seems normal. But I'm so _sure..._ so sure I felt it go...

"You _bastard._"

_I FORCED THEM!_

It starts again, and this time...I can't control the instinctive reaction, clamping my hands around my throat, arching off the bed again, away from their hands, their startled cries.

"Do you _want _to die, you stupid bastard? Want to leave us alone? Come back here! You haven't finished your God damn mission yet! You haven't avenged her!"

Meiran? Who cares but the living, when the dead can only see jewels hanging in the night sky. All consuming. The dead can't feel. I envy the dead, that they never have to rise, and face what they've done to people they care about.

"You didn't force me." There's a calmness in Trowa's voice I envy, but I snarl when he forces my eyes open, to make me look at him. "Surprised by...by what you were giving me, is all. I didn't respond at first because I was so amazed somebody I wanted so much could want me back."

The words are guttural, heinous with the blood slicking my throat, but I utter them anyway, feeling something clench at their hurt when they hear them. "I...practically...raped...you..." I laughed then, a screechy high sound, before my lungs shut down again, and all I can do is mouth the words. 'Forced you all.'

"What?"

'Forced myself on you all. I'm so sick.'

"You didn't...you didn't force me to touch you." Heero sounds so surprised, and his big blue eyes are wide as he holds my hand away from my throat. "I...I loved being with you, Wufei. I loved the feel of your body. I might not love you...but I love what you can do for me."

'Stupid...raped you.'

"I thought that somebody had to be penetrated for it to be considered rape." There's a wryness in Duo's tone, but his eyes are utterly serious as he pulls my other hand away. "Damn it, 'Fei, I care about you. Why would I touch you if I didn't want to?"

I shake my head, and start to cry, even though the sobs skipping up my throat can't be released. And yes, I really do cry, and I feel like shit because of it, and even they are shocked to their core like I am. I haven't cried in front of anyone...indeed, haven't cried at all, for nearly two years.

'Dirty...forced...why? Why did you let me...degrade you all...like that...'

"Degraded us? Why Wufei, I think we degraded you. Don't you think so?"

"I've told you once, and I'll tell you again, I love you. You're my friend. One of my best buddies, and I won't let you throw what we have away just because you think some stupid shit sometimes."

"Don't make me a killer again. Don't make what you showed me worthless. I've felt so much better, since I've been with you."

"If you think I'd let anyone force me, you're sadly mistaken. I liked kissing you, understand?"

"We all like it."

"Dude, you're our friend, a beautiful person, and we like you."

"You're intelligent, and brave, and kind, and you see something in us that no one else does."

"Nobody could ever want us with the same passion that also hungers for the injustice of it all."

"Don't make jokes, not right now."

"Sorry...but it's true. Man, you keep saying we're wild, but you're like a storm tamed. It's not possible for a person to care so much, yet we all do, about you...and we know you care about us."

"Your kiss told me that. Raw need. You tried to comfort me, even though I was scaring you shitless."

"Come back to us."

"Please, Wufei?"

"'Fei?"

I stop crying when I start breathing again, ignoring their sighs of relief. I guess they were betting on their words working more than even they realised. Bad luck if it didn't eh? But here I am, acting like a wussy onna not getting her-

"No, fuck that. Women are as strong as men, as wise, as full of life. I'm stopping that bullshit right now" I rasp, and they all blink at me for a very long moment.

"Riiiight, 'Fei...see something you didn't like in your own mind?" Duo raises his eyebrows, the skin around his eyes white with shock, and he's chewing the end of his braid nervously. Still scared shitless, of saying or doing the wrong thing.

I sigh. Yeah, I'm stupid. But not for the reasons I was thinking a few minutes ago.

"See something I didn't like? Oh yes." My voice is still very weak, but it seems to reassure them a little, and I even go so far as to squeeze the hands still holding mine...Duo's and Heero's. "I...I had no idea...what it would be like. She...she isn't waiting for me to do those things. She just _is_."

"Is?" Trowa smiles, one of the very few of his I've ever seen, and it's as slow as his kisses. Like the one he just dropped onto my forehead. "Is what?"

"Not...not like that. Everything...it _is_. Oh gods, it...it was so horrible..." I'm suddenly nearly smothered again...this time by a trembling blonde, as he carefully lands on top of me, placing his forehead over mine.

"You...you were ready to die. Why? Because of what you thought you did? You didn't force me to do anything. I'm just naturally a pervert, and I like you. Pretty, slim, oh so touchable Chang. You're what I always wanted for Christmas, but was too shy to ask Santa for." His blue eyes sparkling with tears, he drops a chaste kiss on the end of my nose, and I'm thoroughly shocked by the tears rising in my eyes again. "Too precious to lose" he whispers, and rubs our noses together, before backing away slowly.

"I...I...I'm so sorry..."

"Apology accepted, but if you do shit like that again, I'll strangle you myself. Got it, 'Fei?" I nod, looking away, before Duo pulls me onto his lap, ignoring my wince as he brushes against...my _cracked..._ribs. "Fucking idiot" he laughs, and kisses my cheek, hard and fast, and ending it with a smacking sound. "There. Hey Heero, you ain't branded him yet. Brand him, so we can keep him for a little while longer."

Heero stares at him, fists tightening where they rest in his lap. Then his eyes switch, so that he's looking at me, and I shudder at the fury in those glacial blues. I promised...no strings...and I think I just broke every little thing that lies between us. That trust. That friendship.

"You do that again, I never met you. I never knew you. I can't _take_ shit like that, and just keep on moving. If someone...someone I God damn _care_ about goes, I'm fucked! You hear me! I can't _do _that again!"

They all make little sounds...some protests, others shock...but it's him I'm staring at. Looking at. Feeling miserable, knowing the full extent of what I've done to them.

"Never again" I whisper, and he pants for a moment, trembling with the need for something even I don't understand. "I'm so sorry, Heero. But...but I couldn't help it. I did force you all..." and I hold my hands over my ears, as furious protests rise on angry lips,"...and I admit that I took the whole situation far too...seriously. I still feel guilty for doing what I've done. For making you kiss me, fuck me, do all those things to me...Trowa was right. You coddle a panic attack, and it gets so much worse. But I have the clarity now...the clarity those fucking stupid jewels showed me. I still need you all. And if you'll have me...just for a little while longer...I would be the proudest man on earth. You understand that?"

"...yes."

"Then that is what it is, what it will forever be. I'll be your friend, if you'll all be mine."

"We _are_ friends, 'Fei. Nothing's changed that."

"I'm a horrible friend. I temperamental one, a cowardly one, but..."

"Just shut up, and come here."

And they hold me until I finally get it into my head that forced is different to offered.

A little while later...I'm too sore, and feeling like too much of a fool to tell what time it is...Duo whispers, "What jewels were you talking about?"

I'm...and there's no other word for it, so don't blame me..._cuddled_ into his side, forehead leaning against his chest. Trowa's behind him...it made him slightly nervous at first, but he got over it quickly...with a hand reaching over, making me shiver as he occasionally strokes a finger down my side. Quatre and Heero are on the other side, Heero with a leg between mine, Quatre smoothing my hair off my forehead from his position a little up from him. They were uncomfortable at first. But...they gave that up, just to soothe an idiot who nearly died from a panic attack.

"Jewels" he prompts me again, leaning down a bit to brush his lips over my ear, and I sigh as I try to say it...without sounding like a complete and utter nutcase.

"Your eyes." I clench my hands in his shirt, squeezing my eyes shut as I remember the terrible, tempting beauty of those few moments...wherever I was, while still here. "All your eyes. Couldn't see anything else. Like jewels in the dark, and they...I don't want to say it, okay? It was stupid...and that clarity..."

"You truly died, didn't you." I don't know who the whisper's from...so toneless, and flat, and shivering my entire stomach clenches, and I feign sleep so I wouldn't have to face their God damn sympathetic stares.

There's a few moments of…well, almost comfortable silence.

"Well...this was exciting."

"And scary."

"Like the time Heero self destructed..."

"And the time you went all Zero on us, Quatre."

"I guess it was about time for another one of us to go insane, or die. Wufei...how can he bear to be near us? We...we really hurt him..."

"Because we didn't talk to him? Yeah, I know, Heero. It's not like I haven't thought about what I could have done. Just be a friend, yanno, and I didn't even have the common decency to do that."

"I...I know a secret."

"What's that, Kat?"

"I'm not sure if it's true...but...it's just this feeling I get, from him."

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure yet...give me awhile, maybe I can figure it out."

"As long as it isn't hate."

"No...it's like...well, fairy floss is the only way I can describe it." Quatre sighs, a deep, mournful sound, and pauses in touching my forehead. "I would say it's affection, but it's lighter than even that."

"Lighter?"

"I dunno...I haven't studied for this sort of thing. I have no idea what most of them are. Just the strongest ones."

"Is he asleep?"

"Yeah."

"Gods, he's so beautiful, isn't he?"

"Ahuh. Like...like something you can't even imagine, and even a bit more than that."

"That's very poetic of you, Trowa."

"Make him smile, Duo. Make him strong, Heero. Keep him sane, Quatre, and I'll listen to him when he hurts, okay?"

"...that's even more so. But that sounds like a pretty fucking good idea to me."

"Yeah."

"Yes."

Sometime in all of that, and maybe even a little bit after, I fall asleep for real.


	10. LiFe SupPoRt

… … … … …

_LiFe SuPpOrT_

The Eternity – Trowa Barton

… … … … …

They've taken to sleeping with me during the night....probably afraid that I will be a fool again, and let the panic attacks consume me totally and utterly. Happily, there's not a damn chance of that happening, since I still remember what they taught me on that horrible day, last week.

Forced is a little different to offered, no?

So here I am, lying on my side, and watching the sky outside the window. No moon tonight, but brush fires from the mountains just to the west light the sky up, tinged with red, the clouds like blades cutting across the ether. They won't get too close, and the OZ command centre close by has its hands busy sending troops to minimise the blaze. Meaning none of us have to do anything, at least for the moment, because even we can't bear to attack someone who's trying to put fires out, to save peoples homes and lives...

I always feel uncomfortable during these breaks in the war. It's like...somehow, I don't deserve to be sitting around, even if I'm nearly trembling with the need to get back out on the battlefield. Sitting there, I'm only waiting for my next orders, which makes every second longer and filled with nightmarish irregularity.

It's not so bad tonight.

Even though I can't sleep.

I don't know exactly what's wrong with me. I was dead tired when we went to bed, for certain, exhausted after rough housing it with Heero and Duo for hours on end. Man, do those guys like to play fight. Meh, I still kicked them on their backs more often than they pinned me, so I feel a bit mollified despite the spectacular defeat I suffered...at which point in time Quatre came in, belted them across their asses with a wooden spoon, and ordered them to apologise for stripping me naked. Gods, he sure is a sweetheart sometimes.

Trowa's still awake, reading even as he lies furled against my back, the other's breathing...soft snores, steady deep breaths...the only thing keeping total silence at bay. I've discovered Trowa likes to read while practically laying on me, sometimes offering me a page or two which we read together, awkward with his arms over my waist, my hand on the spine of the book. But...it's a comfort, with him, who finally started talking to us again.

"What are you reading tonight?" I whisper, and I feel his eyes on me for a moment, before words capture his attention again." Something I found....somewhere" he replied quietly. "I knew you were awake."

"Hmmm."

"Something wrong?" Yeah, it surprised the hell out of me too, but that suggestion he made...when I was hurting, thinking my ribs were cracked, my throat raw and bloody...is a suggestion he's taking very seriously. He tries to get _me_ to talk, all the time...when he's not pulling me off the one side, out of sight, so the others can't see us, and treating me to one of those slow, careful kisses.

Yanno, a guy....if he was able to....could probably fall in love with all the kinds of kisses there are, especially from these four.

"Nothing wrong." I sigh, and turn to face him, feeling immeasurably better when I can't see the glow from the fires anymore. "Just thinking about things."

"Hmmm."

I swallow heavily when he suddenly moves, on all fours above me, and I wriggle so that I'm nearly face to face with him. It's not like the sudden movement scared me, made me feel defenceless or anything! I just like to be on an even ground when any of them surprise me, is all.

Steady emerald eyes don't blink, even as full, pale lips curl into a smile. "Have you ever done it with three other people in the same bed?"

I pale, and shudder, and somewhere in the back of my mind I blame the effect like a flurry of snow. "Uh...no?"

"Wanna?"

Hm. Do I wanna have sex in the same bed as three of my other lovers...one unfulfilled, but only because the elevator's broken down...and maybe wake them up? Disturb their rest? Would I want the total voyeurism of the moment to overtake me, and flood me, just like the ripple of shock is doing right now, shock from his words?

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" I reply flatly, and grab his tee-shirt and pull him clumsily down on top of me. He grins, and our lips meet, and I can even feel Duo's body heat pressing at me from the spot Trowa so recently vacated. Give the braided boy an inch, and he would hog the whole damn bed, if he could.

Bang-Boy has a very, _very_ nice build, and it feels even better when he's resting most of his weight on you. Never mind the fact that he's heavier, it's _fine_, the way gravity pulls him down against me. I spread my legs when he nudges them with his knees, licking my lips with a sigh as he sinks neatly in-between them, eyes curiously soft as he strokes my ribs with one hand...soft like glowing, living moss, shining in the light from the sun. Green floods my vision.

"You...you done this before....?' I murmur softly, cradling his face with both of my hands as I arch beneath him briefly, to align his awakening erection with my damn near ready one. The feel of his cock...lined up against mine, Trowa shutting his eyes and hissing briefly at the friction...is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen, touches I have ever felt, and so far, I've seen and experienced quite a bit.

"No...been reading though...." His voice is guttural as he chews on my earlobe, hands digging into my ponytail to loose it, flicking the rubber band at someone...Quatre, I think...who's just begun snoring a little louder. "Tantrism...they have tips for keeping it up for hours..."

As Heero turns over in his sleep, making Duo murmur as he runs into him accidentally...while we're all used to sleeping in pairs, five is a bit too much, even in a king sized bed...I suddenly have the strangest feeling. It's like doom, almost, a curiously sticky substance that glues itself to my spine, like jelly to a blanket, making me shiver underneath him as his eyes carefully study mine.

"You...you want to do me for _hours?_"

"If it's alright." Oh God, the guy's talking about one of my ultimate fantasies like he's discussing the inner workings of a washing machine. "Damn you, Trowa Barton, for making me have such great expectations."

He laughs a little, his gentle, quiet laugh that I've become quite fond of, even as his hand leaves my ribs to delve into my shorts. "Great? I might not be...not this first time..." he murmurs, licking my neck with tiny little sweeps of his tongue, even as he traces a vein from the base to the tip of my cock, making my eyes roll back in my head. "Where'd you stash the lube?"

"Wait" I gasp, and he moves off me as I rip the pillows from beneath my head, off the floor, and under Heero, who doesn't mind at all. At least....I _hope_ he doesn't mind...

One for me.

Three to shore Duo as far away as possible, making a barricade between us and the rest of the guys.

One for Quatre as he starts snoring again, and someone yelps as they're hit in the head by a bag of flying feathery cushioning.

"What the fuck!?" Quatre must have seen that Heero is missing his pillow, for something...eerily spine chilling, like the screech of demons, or the opening theme song of a daytime soap...something terrible, a wail of fury unlike any I've ever heard before fills the air, as Quatre pounces on the defenceless Heero.

He fell asleep half way, and drifted gently down to the mattress, holding the pillow that hit him with fond arms. Me and Trowa stare at him, as wide eyed as racoons.

"...Well."

"Mm."

"That's not something you see everyday--hmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmm....."

It's hard to speak, with Trowa mapping my mouth so thoroughly with his tongue...which is as damn flexible as him, if not more. His breath tastes sweet, too, like watermelon perhaps, something cool and fresh grown in the sun. Absolutely delicious, if you know what I mean. He manoeuvres himself slowly so he's resting on top of me again, hips flush and chests meeting, gentle hands cradling my shoulders as my hands rise to meet his skin, passing on the half empty tube of lubricant as I do so.

My hand buries itself, in the short hair at the nape of his neck...soft, and not quite as bristly as it looks...as the other rests on his lower back, pushing his hips down even as mine rise to meet them. His mouth opens wider, in a gasp against mine, and I lick the inside of his lower lip even as my own skin is prickling...from the delicious friction, the damning weight of him on top, the sheer pleasure I feel at touching him...feeling something so dark and utterly forbidden start to creep through my flesh, like cats prowling in alleyways.

Too much light. I want to be with him in the dark.

I blink at the lamp for a few moments, and he gets my drift, reaching over to flick it off even as he licks gently at my jaw. Trowa _really_ likes to lick, apparently...Gods above, I'm not bloody complaining...and the feel of his tongue is raspy/smooth against my twitching skin

"Need music...for cover...." he gasps, as I caress him through the sheer material of his boxers, hefting the weight of his sac in one hand, gently stroking the sensitive skin between that and the base of his cock. I nod, mutely, for even though he doesn't want silence, I need to be silent with him. Kinda fucking poetic, but hey, I am when I'm extremely turned on.

There's a bit of a fuss when he tries to get a disk from his walkman thingy...he knees me in the guts, and I elbow him in his chest out of pure reflex...and he ends up toppling over Duo when the disk finally slides into the wall unit anyway. So much for grace, eh? But hey, even Duo didn't wake up during his violent swearing fit and my consequent snickering. Shinigami? Lord of his cousin is more like it, no?

Sleep? Slumber? Shit, I don't know anymore. Stupid, stupid bloody small assed bed...

Heh. Don't mind me. I get deliciously snarky when I'm horny, too. The music starts to play, and it's so low I barely understand it, but I get the general impression it's about sex. Black lace on sweat? My pain your thrill? I never knew he was into such music!

He strips me slowly, once he's untangled himself from Duo, paying attention to sensitive spots he finds with his tongue. There's a particular touchy one, on the edge of my hipbone, and he takes full advantage as he licks the thin skin stretched taught over it. Meanwhile, I'm just a pile of shivering goo, barely able to touch him back as he plays me like a finely tuned violin. I do find the energy to place my hands on his chest, playing with the edge of one pale nipple as he bends my knee almost to my chest, licking the skin behind it and making me groan. And then...my shorts are gone, and I'm shivering in the coolness of his gaze as it rakes over my body. Leaves a tingling feeling of frost on my skin too, making my nipples stand stiff and erect, my skin crawling from the feeling of ice.

You have no idea of what being gazed upon by Mr Silent can do to your erogenous zones. Mine, for example, are currently praising his parents for meeting in the first place. And also wriggling in delight.

Do you know how weird it is to have your hip bone wriggle?

Yeah! That weird!

"Prepare yourself." I blink at the suddenly hushed tones entering his voice, lilting as he slowly slides out of his clothes as well. He notices my curious look, even as I assume the position I'm most comfortable with...I've done this many, _many_ times before...and his eyes are glinting with that strange light again, the one that makes them flare like sunlight covered moss, with hard stone beneath them. What I've termed his horny gaze, by the way. "I want to watch you do it. I want to see what you've done to yourself before."

"Ok" I whisper, pushing my hair behind my ears, and chancing a glance at the others as he pushes the tube of lubricant into my other waiting hand. They're still sleeping soundly, Heero looking a little uncomfortable without his poor pillow, and I can't help but smile as I look them over. My boys. My beautiful, wonderful boys...all lined up like monkeys in a bed. I grin as I spread the lube of my fingers, carefully easing the viscous coldness all the way down until I hit the skin that meets my palm

_My_ monkeys.

A hint of movement catches my eyes; he's settled on his haunches, gaze hungry as he watches me shift my left hand between my spread legs, ghosting over my...well, _very_ hard cock.... and gently touching the skin surrounding my entrance. My breath becomes shallow as I gently ease one inside, not as good as another touching me, but I often crave that feeling of fullness, that feeling of being entered. There's nothing like it in all the world, and I bite my lips, head falling back, as I press my index finger all the way inside.

"Tell me?" I blink my eyes open, shifting slightly on the sheets, to watch him touching himself...carefully, slowly, a look of total concentration on his face. It's like he's trying to figure something out, and then he smiles as his muscles start to relax slowly. What the hell? "Tell me what it feels like?" he asks, a plaintive note in his tone, and I shake as one hand carefully teases the skin just behind his foreskin.

If he wants to hear about this, about how it feels...I'll tell him.

"Makes your...your insides squirm." I'm panting now, eagerly raising my hips off the bed as another digit pushes inside beside the other, both of them barely moving. "Feels like...like you're being split in two, at first. Feels good. Like...like stretching a sore muscle, one that's just started to heal, and that ache...it's what I love about this..."

His eyes become hooded as I push three inside, carefully twisting and spreading them, forcing those writhing muscles into wilful submission. "Stretching, burning sometimes...pain, but that only highlights the other feelings, of pleasure...of total fulfilment...it's why I'm a bottom. That feeling...so good....so _right_..."

"I've found it" he remarks quietly, almost as if to himself, and I shudder as sweat drips down my temples, making my skin crawl as more edge along my ribs. I start to edge my fingers out, wincing, already anticipating that brief flash of loss, but his gaze stops me, impossibly bright. "Another. I don't know much about this...but you're going to need to be as open as possible, alright?"

Why?

My gaze flickers down to his lap.

Oh.

_Oh._

Gods, being tall isn't the only big thing about him....heh.

Much bigger than Duo and Heero. _Much_ thicker, as well, the slightly twitching length nearly curling up into his bellybutton. If I wasn't craving his touch so much, I might have been scared at the laws of physics that are currently running through my mind. You can't fit a watermelon through a keyhole, right?

Wait...I blush as I remember sex ed videos from school, and the birthing tape...women do it all the time.

Anything they can do...I can at least try to imitate, somewhat, in an extremely male, masculine way.

Yeah.

He licks his lips as he squirts more lube onto his palm, liberally coating his thick, dripping length so much I'm afraid...that if he went for a tumble...he would slide his way across the room and bash his head. Wait. Why the _fuck_ am I thinking about him leaving? Cool green eyes study me as I yelp, four fingers something I've rarely done, and only under the most extreme of circumstances. Find my pain interesting, eh, old green eyes? Hmmm. I suppose he might, actually...he's as still a much of mystery to me as the first day we met, those long, long months ago. But that's what makes this so much more exciting, and rewarding.

Look, Ma, I'm about to fuck a total stranger!

No wires!

I watch his muscles writhe beneath his skin as he slowly looms over me, acting more like a predator...the lions he handles...then the boy I've come to both respect and admire. Smooth, scarred skin, stretched taught over his hips and collarbone, his shoulder blades like mini wings rising smoothly, the knobs of his spine clearly highlighted and buckled. His hair brushes my forehead as he slowly lowers himself on top of me, eyes boring into mine the whole while, as he gently grasps my wrist...I mewl as he pulls my own fingers from myself, feeling the shock of emptiness travel through my sac and cock like a bolt of electricity.

"Still. Hold _very_ still" he breathes into my ear, before he licks it...God what is _with_ this boy and licking?!...his hands pulling on my thighs before I lift them, complying with his wishes, raising them until my calves press into his bony ribs neatly. He settles between my spread legs with a deep sigh, taking a moment to bury his nose in my hair, making my chest feel warm as he inhales softly and I close my legs over his back.

I can feel the others near me, even though they're not awake, feel their very presence deep inside as the thick head of his cock is aligned with my somewhat looser than usual opening. I can feel their gentle breaths as if it were my own, washing over my skin, past my lips, down into my throat, as he gently pushes forward, hissing and pressing his lips to mine as I bite of another yelp, feeling overwhelmed. Fuck, he's so bloody _big!_

"I won't hurt you" he murmurs, and he doesn't...not much, if you call being split apart not much at all...as he slowly pushes forwards, curving his hips as he pushes more and more of that hard, throbbing shaft inside me. I fling my head back, gasping, as he lifts me as if I weigh nothing at all, sliding the pillow I salvaged under the small of my back, taking a full minute to adjust it until he likes the way I'm settled on it.

Fucking perfectionist. Literally!

He breathes deeply as he settles even closer, smiling like the proverbial cat that caught a big, fat canary, and I shudder and close my eyes as he licks me from jaw to eye, gentle raspy tongue making my insides writhe with pleasure. Lion. My Lion. Fuck, he's so beautiful, and slow...this is so surreal...nerves flaring like nova suns, eyes burning with half fulfilled tears as the pain slowly starts to fade....leaving me feeling fuller than I ever have before.

Full. I'm not starving for his touch anymore, because he's inside me so deeply, and so very still, _he might as well be a part of me._

I don't remember much, of the next...wait for it, and you better believe it, because I can't quite...._45 damn minutes!_ Oh sure, I had general impressions of things...the shape of the ceiling fan above me....the feel of the sheets, rubbing into my shoulder blades...listening to Quatre snore, myself make odd little whimpery noises, and his quiet, even breathing...tasting his lips, because with every thrust he paused to kiss me thoroughly, tongue flickering and tasting even when I couldn't respond...feeling that hard, warm length split me completely open with his slow, graceful thrusts, that sometimes lasted on the downstroke for a full _minute_...and I knew, just _knew_, he hadn't even really begun to fuck me yet. This was almost like...foreplay. Damn him!

Our movements, slow and luxuriously soft as they may have been...still shook the damn small assed bed a little. I was currently gasping, forearm thrown over my eyes as he did that twisty thing again....went all the way inside, and then started to shift his whole body to the left, it felt so fucking weird...with my other arm curled around his shoulder. His eyes were shut, the muscles of his abdomen contracting and relaxing as he moved over me, slicked with sweat and lube and the Gods know what else. What was I saying? Oh, yes...we were shaking the bed.

I know for a fact that I can sleep through really loud noises, explosions, and screaming. This is because of Duo's antics, most likely. However...and we're all like this, really...the softer the movement, the quieter the sound, the more easily it penetrates the thick layers protecting our minds while we slumber. Trust me, it ain't nothing special, especially when you're woken up by cats padding past your window at three o'clock in the damn morning.

_Anyway_....what I'm _trying_ to say is...

We woke Duo up.

I heard all the classic signs, and so did Trowa, and he hissed when I forced him to stop; by squeezing my legs tightly around his hips, halting his movements. Gods, he looks pissed. I heard Duo yawning, stretching as little thumps echo softly...he's slapping his stomach, I don't know why he does it...and I glare back as I held a finger to my lips. _Shhh!_ He wrinkles his nose in disgust, but obeyed...somewhat...settling his full weight onto me, and licking my jugular for a bit of amusement.

"Addax....hmmm....aw, shit, 'Ro, don't _lay_ on me like that....hmmm?" I start laughing silently, making Trowa raise an eyebrow and blink at me, as Duo discovers the pillow barricade I erected....heh, another funny.....before we started this whole 'fuck Wufei stupid' operation. His words, not mine. I press my hands over my lips, trying not to give myself away, as a hand touches them cautiously, patting them in places with nothing of grace and more of inelegance than anything else. "Huh...? Fuck, Tro, you sure are spongy...."

Bang Boy growls menacingly, and I yelp when he lifts himself up, to glare over the ridges of Pillowtopia Fell. Because when he lifts...my lower half sorta goes with him. "That's _not_ me, you piece of shit. Go back to sleep."

"Sorry, man, jeez...what, you pissed at me or something?" His voice is fuzzy with sleep, and I can only imagine the drowsy, annoyed expression on his face.

Trowa has a look in his eyes. I can't quite tell if it's humour...or a feeling of general homicidal impulses...so I do the best I can to calm him down, slowly trailing my fingertips over his neck, and his inscrutable green eyes snap back to mine as his skin rises into tiny little goose bumps. I feel my lips curl into a smile, and run my hands through his hair, leaning up to kiss him softly.

We lie still for a few minutes longer...I know I was wishing with all my soul that the Gods had taken pity on me, and sent Duo to sleep without further ado...until even he can't take the stillness anymore. "Damn, Wufei" he moans softly, raising my hand so that he can lick the pads of my fingers, one by one. I don't know how to feel when he does things like that, so I settle for quietly pleased and extremely hornacious. "I want to fuck you...please....let me fuck you....it _hurts_...."

"What!?"

My mouth drops open. Trowa's one visible eye widens. We both snap our heads around, only to see Duo leaping straight up like some demented jack in the box.

He sees us....well, the general outline, because Trowa pulled the sheets over us when I was off in one of my comatose moments...and his eyes widen, mouth dropping open as wide as mine, because...what, with the way he's lying between my thighs, hips impossibly too close...it's kinda fucking obvious what we're doing. If I didn't feel so much shock, I might have joked about putting that wide space to a good use. "'Fei?" he whispers, eyes snapping back and forth between mine and Trowa's, and all I can do is gape like a landed bass trout. "_Tro'?!"_

Trowa downright _growls_, shaking his head furiously...I think he's a little confused...before grinding so deep I'm arching off the bed, seeing stars and feeling all my muscles clench, gasping and wriggling. "_Shit!"_

"Wufei Chang -! Aw, crap!" There's an insufferable moment as he sways, eyes widening even further...and then he falls over, right on top of Heero and Quatre. The room is suddenly filled with the screaming of enraged pilots.

"Get the fuck off of me, Maxwell!"

"You bastard!"

Duo's yelling back wordlessly, there's a flurry of thumps, and Quatre bellowing like a wounded moose....wanna know what I'm doing? Giggling silently as Trowa starts fucking me again, this look of evil and humorous intent on his face, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk as he pins my arms above my head with one hand. He tosses his head back, pushing his hips forwards sharply, and I grunt a little as he roughly grazes across my prostate, making the tight ring of muscle surrounding him tighten even further from the wave of intense, all consuming flare. The movement makes his bang fly back, and he smooths it backwards with one hand so that his eyes are cleared, so heated, so full of lust.

"Do _that_ again" I order, moans for the most part, and Duo shrieks as more thumping...it sounds a little like somebody slapping the back of a head...as Trowa lets my arms go, letting me curl them around his shoulders. "Oh Gods...don't stop..."

It feels so _wrong_, to be doing this so close to them...it wasn't this bad, while they were asleep, and what does that say of me?...but I can't deny the guilty pleasure that makes my cock ache something fierce, the skin of my thighs contracting and twitching as his lean body moves over me.

He licks his lips, withdrawing until the thick head of that throbbing, long, hot cock is barely inside me...and then he pauses, cocking his head, green eyes suddenly...dare I say it?...merry. I feel my stomach start to writhe as this _look_ washes over his face, and he full out smirks as he sits up a little, pulling me with him. I gulp as I realise...after a moment of vertigo...that I'm nearly vertical myself, shoulders and the back of my head the only things touching the mattress. Oh fuck, the bastards nearly standing! What the fuck!?

"Oh _Wufei_...." I can't believe the others are still fighting, not hearing the pure evil in the level tone as he bends me suddenly, me biting my lip as one hands slides to rest on the lower well of my back, the other pressing gently into my stomach. What? I'm so confused....and, as everyone should know by now, I _hate_ being confused, nearly as much as I hate Trieze Krushenada, the hypocritical bastard. Why is he holding me up like this?

"_Oh_, what? Trowa, you're starting to scare me..."

"You should be scared" he whispers, just as Duo screams, in a shout even I'm envious of...I wish I could reach that level of crescendo, whether it be in bed or not..._ "Trowa's fucking Wufei and I saw it!"_

Two shocked gasps. A smirk, from Trowa Barton himself.

A long, drawn out, blood curdling and dick hardening scream.

Me, by the way.

He _falls_. There is no other way to put it, there is no other way to express it, there are no words for the movement. I'm sure if I hadn't been slightly modified by the serums O gave me I would be split apart for real, as he sinks back inside of me so fast...and so hard....pressing me back against the bed as flat as I can go. I can't help my scream, the bucking of my hips, the way I arch so much my back nearly snaps neatly in half, lifting his entire body up for a painful, unbearable moment. _"Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuck!!!"_

Trowa grunts as he's jolted too...I don't think he fully realised what he had even been doing, trying something like this...and his eyes squeeze tightly close as he gasps for air, like he's drowning. "Oh my God...oh my _God_..."

He loses control then, and I'm barely aware for a moment that the bed is shaking far too much, even allowing for the way he snaps forwards inside of me suddenly, eyes still closed as he buries his sweaty forehead in the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Oh, this is what I've been wanting, this is what I've been waiting for. I realise, as the others pop their heads above the barricade, eyes widening at the sight...oh God the sight of _them_ is making me so...so...I realise that the shaking was them, scrambling until they were watching us, surprised as hell. Deep, his thrusts, and he's practically purring, a rumbling sound escaping him as his hips slowly start to decelerate.

"No!" I pant, wriggling, trying to get him moving again, running my hands up and down his pale skin like it could goad him into resuming..._that_. "Oh please, Trowa, please, it's too much! Too damn much! _You've been fucking me for over an hour now, and I feel like I'm going crazy!"_

"You're alright" he murmurs, pausing for a moment to gaze at the others fiercely. They stare back at him, eyes wide, eyes roaming all over us...sheet-less now, and even I can see how deeply we're joined, if I move my head a little to the side, and look along our bodies. His eyes narrow as he slowly backs away a little, before leisurely sinking deeper, groaning for a brief moment as his balls slapped lightly against my ass, the sound making me ache in places I didn't know existed. "Mine" he whispers possessively, eyes flickering over them, holding me closer and licking my neck, green eyes as hard as cut gems. "_Mine_. I'm here now. _Mine_."

"No fucking kidding" Duo replies, breathless, his tone shaky as he sits down on his butt fast, as if collapsing...but still looking at us, watching the way his hips moved shallowly, the way I started to go _beyond _beneath him. _Beyond_ is when the pleasure is too much...mentally, of course, he rarely touches me enough, even to bring me to the brink of orgasm...and everything starts to go hazy.

And then reality snaps back, as he pushes inside of me deep, groaning and biting down harshly on my neck. Can you blame me for screaming like I just did, arching up, bucking into the feeling of his cock? No? Good.

Trowa swings me up suddenly, until I'm lifted above him, staring down with my hands clasped onto his shoulders. I groan as he lets me slide down, until I'm sitting on that lap, whimpering as I sink deeper and deeper, stretching my limits even as he stretches me.

I'm amazed. Never knew a position could make you feel like...like _this_...

Like you're the most important thing.

Like you're the only thing.

And the pleasure...well, I won't get into details, but being like this? It just about kills other parts of my brain not yet already dead. Ahuh.

My hands and legs wrap around him closely, feeling the sweat pouring off of him from every single pore, palms sliding in it. He smells rabid, almost feral, like the lions cage at the zoo. Or just somebody fucking his brains out, perhaps. Maybe there's no difference between the two? Amused green eyes watch me closely, and I start rocking back and forth gently, half closing my eyes and biting my lip. Just rocking. Just making his cock scrape me inside, dully, so slowly.

"I thought you were go-ooooing insa-aaaaaane...."

"No talking!" I hiss, and knock him flat on his back, riding him down like one might ride a wave. Surging beneath me, and I quickly unwrap my legs, smirking as my hands plant themselves firmly, on either side of his head. Oh my, Trowa looks rather startled. Oh my, so do the others, when I remember they are there. Oh my, I'm sick of all this.

"It might have been a fantasy of mine...but play time's over." I seem to have the feeling that I've heard that somewhere before. Hmmm. Curious. His eyes widen as I growl, lifting myself up until only the head of his cock is inside of me. "I'm tired. I'm so hard it hurts. And you _haven't touched me once in over a damn hour_. I'm...I'm..."

"Adoring?" His voice is weak, and he flings a hand over his head, the back of his hand hitting the sheets. Oh, his voice is sheepish, is he? I'll ride him like a damn sheep. I'll fuck his freaking fucking stupid ass brains out if that's what it takes to get the ache out of my thighs and turn it into something constructive that I can actually use instead of wondering how long it takes for your testicles to implode and no I'm not fucking adoring I'm _pissed_.

I breathe harshly, glaring at the sound of sudden, startled laughter. Heero looks innocent as he waves his hands around, and the other two are staring at me wide eyed. "A thing you should know, Wufei...when you're denied, you talk out loud." I stare at him blankly, and he grins, blue eyes almost gleaming. "Your thoughts."

"Oh."

I talk, do I? Not like Duo, I expect, with his blabbering mouth that would be so much better wrapped around my cock. All the way, deep throating, right down to the base and I hope to God he chokes on it. I hope somebody will introduce themselves to the joys of rimming. I hope one day I'll be able to have all of them at once, and not wonder how I'm going to do it. I wish somebody would make Trowa move, instead of sitting there, and gaping like a fish. I wish that gaping was on my cock. Oh, hot, sweet suction...I wish I would strop thinking and just start doing what I do best. I ignore their laughter, still poised above Trowa, and my hands find hard nipples, and sleek skin that I can drum with my fingertips.

"You."

He blinks. 'Me?' he mouths. I nod.

"Are you ready for the Wuffinator?"

There's a thump as Duo falls off the bed, howling with laughter, and even Quatre's looking amused, covering his mouth with one hand. I narrow my eyes. I can't see the other hand.

"Quatre, whip it out and play with it. I wanna watch while I ride Trowa here, alright?"

There's a startled sound from the floor, and Heero smirks as he pushes the pillows away, to reveal Quatre with a hand down the front of his shorts. He doesn't look happy. "Aw, hell, Wufei! I wanted to do it in secret!"

I interrupt their amusement...and my own, because this situation is so not funny it's _hilarious_....and draw a long, deep moan from myself as I seat myself fully. Oh God, there goes my prostate again. And up, feeling his thighs clench beneath me, his eyes hooded as hands settle on my hips. And down, choking at the searing heat, twisting briefly to ride out the waves of pure, golden pleasure. And up. And Down. And up and down and up and down and oh sweet Gods...

Fluid, almost graceful movement, as I rise and fall without pause, and words start to tumble from my lips without ever being aware of them. "Hot...oh fuck, so good...so deep, you...oh you're so good...mine...oh fuck yeah, you're mine. Your cock is mine..._I_ have it now...it belongs to _me_..."

He nods hastily: I think I might be scaring him, the poor hard dear.

"Well...it's really _yours_...you're so....oh....oh no....oh yes...oh _yes_...._oh yes_...."

Suddenly, it's far too much; the sensitivity of my skin blinds me all at once, something dark and luscious and sweet curling inside the place where we're joined so deeply; I know I start this _keening_ sound, this high, breathy whine that makes me tremble, as my hands slide on his sweat slicked chest; I feel the ruptures begins inside me, feeling the earthquake of pleasure and terror that is orgasm rip through the warmness in my belly, making my nerves light up like fireflies; and before I knew it, there I was, screaming and panting and coming and sweating and dying all at the same time with a gorgeous, moaning, starry eyed boy underneath me, lifting his hips so high I'm nearly thrown airborne through the movement. Feeling his cock twitch and then throb and then pulse and the _erupt_, this feral sounding growl he can't barely conceal as I pump all over him, my hands which had reached to soothe my aching flesh, and the sheets around us.

I admit it. He made me faint. I hate to admit of course, but it's true. I don't like it. True. Gods… I barely remember two sets of hands slipping me off his softening cock, and then all there was…was that warm, sacred darkness, with many sets of arms around me, like a severely mutated octopus was having some post coitus cuddling instead of Tro. And then sleep. And then some odd, soft form of happiness that made me cling tightly to the person closest to me, sighing gently.

My little lion…Gods, he was so sweet….mmmm…

… … … … …

_AN: More porn, next chapter. Thanks for putting up with me!_


	11. NiTrO GlYcErInE

… … … … …

_NiTrO GlYcErInE – PaRt OnE_

The Exhibit– Quatre Raberba Winner

… … … … …

It took me nearly three days to notice Quatre's soulful looks.

Well, not really, but it was fun making his lips purse just _so_, in the most adorable little pout you could ever wish to see. Ignore the hellfire burning in his eyes; the cute looks rule all. Amen. So I let him stew for a bit.

It's amusing, the way he's following me around. I'd settle down on the couch with some mission specs – he found a sudden need to clean his gun, with _lots_ of oil, making interesting noises as he rubbed the metal provocatively. I'd eat something from his Domain – the kitchen – and he'd decide, right there and then, that he'd like to deep throat some of the icy poles we bought after the four day heatwave that hit after the bushfires.

And _my_, isn't he talented at restraining the gag reflex. And smiling all innocent like as he pulls the clean stick away from his cherry stained lips.

Bastard.

See, if I didn't find this so hilarious, I'd have probably jumped him days ago. But, as I said, seeing him pout just about beats any sexual encounter I could think of. Just about. And therein lies the dilemma.

I knew Quatre had a little 'man to man' talk with the guys, and ever since then they've made sure he's asleep before resting fitfully themselves, obviously _afraid_ of something. Though Heero chucked his rice bowl at me went I mentioned it, so Idecided to backtrack from that line of thought and settle on the idea that the little blonde might _not_ have threatened them with some kind of horrible demise.

Well, if he did, it would have been a very polite threat.

With lots of little demonic eye glints.

And a perky little grin. Because that's Quatre, the devious little bastard.

And yeah, he was annoying me a little, but only because he didn't _ask_. I don't mind being the centre of attention – well not really, I've _nearly_ gained complete control of my blushes and the unobvious need for them to turn on at any given moment – but seeing him moping around and waiting for me to make the first move kinda irritates me. Because, after all, this is a two way – ahem - _many_ way thing, right? Not up to me to set the mood, buddy, as Duo reminded me after the disastrous first attempt at a blowjob.

No teeth. _Ever again_. I shiver, and crouch a little lower behind my Potted Plant Covering System 4000, and wait for Blondie to make his daily soulful march to the elevator. With added moping look. God, he must be desperate by now, if the tissues littering his room are anything to go by. I've checked, I've cleaned, and I've sniggered. As per my delightful nature, of course.

Or, rather, what's _now_ my nature.

This whole…situation…has had me behaving in quite unusual ways, I have to admit. For one, I'm not usually this boisterous and demanding – and, well, _snobbish_ – and I can't help but feel that this is…this is my childhood now, in a weird, sexually deviant kind of way. This is the time where I grow, and learn, and simply _be_. Opposed to the soulless demon I've become in Nataku's cold embrace for so long, so different to the rage that filled me to the brim. I was so tired…and now, I feel so excited, like something new is always around the corner, and I can't wait to discover it.

Being like this…being with _them_…makes me realise just how much my life was injurious, so empty and insensible and melancholy. I can _laugh_ now, laugh until it hurts, and just smile when it gets too much. I can sleep with my arms around someone, have someone else run fingers through my hair while I massage another's hand…I can be myself, happy and misled and ignorantly blissful, and it doesn't hurt like I imagined truly being alive would. I don't feel guilty that I wake up, and my chest isn't empty with the hurt.

So yeah, while I may have become quite childish, in other ways I feel so…so _free_. So exhilaratingly, wonderfully free. Free to kiss and touch, to pleasure and be pleasured.

It's absolutely magnificent.

And then Quatre comes plodding along, hands stuck deep in his pockets, glancing to the side in that way only he can pull off…and I rise, whisper silent from my observation point, and I feel a small smile unfurl on my lips as he stops, and his eyes light up.

I can't help but feel slightly proud – _I_ make him feel like this. _I _make him step forward hesitantly, hand rising from his side and reaching…pulling forward once it grasps a fold of my shirt, and I duck my head shyly as our hips bump together, and his head cocks to the side as I brush my hand against his cheek. "Hey."

"Hello, Wufei." And doesn't he sound annoyed. Heh.

"I've been thinking about this – about what you and I can do." I bite my lip as he grins, shifting slightly from foot to foot, and I have to laugh a little as he almost preens. My dear, marvellous Quatre…he makes me content, and even though that's no big feat nowadays, it makes me so grateful to have him as a friend.

"I've been thinking, too." And then he leans forwards and his pink lips part a little, and there's suddenly an entire universe resting between the kiss, the one that's pulled our bodies taut against each other.

I'm not kidding. An entire fucking _universe_.

He's…molten. Like the inside of this giant, eternally revolving star, and every single particle of him is showered with all this feeling, this _passion_. Blue eyes like liquid flames, cheeks turning softly pink as I gasp and sag against him. It's…beyond words, and mere feelings, and it's so feral and beautiful I feel something inside of me shake open and burst before he crashes me into the wall, and my whole world is suddenly _him_.

And we shouldn't be doing this in the hallway, I think. Because…yeah, I think I've royally pissed him off.

"I've been thinking of how I want you so, about how your skin sets me alight inside," he snarls softly, a soft sort of fury in his tone one that makes my heart stutter, before starting to race furiously. His fingertips lightly scratching against my ribs, clouding eyes skimming across my gaze like fluttering wings. "About how you've let the others become so close to that tinder, and I feel like I've been left outside in the _cold_."

And Quarte, the most soft spoken, polite, well bred and decent one out of all of us…suddenly turns into a demon with eyes like liquid burning ice, with an erection that pokes into my belly almost cruelly. We stand stock still, underneath the bright lights, and it feels like there's some great precipice ahead…and I realise that he's _hurt_, and very much fucking so, and cold guilt crawls inside me and decides to set up a nest somewhere inside my chest. Next to that broken thing, the one that feels a bit like something inside has gone horribly wrong.

It's an impulse, I decide as my knees give way, and he gasps as my nose grazes along his shirt on the way down, lightly brushing against the skin and muscles beneath. It isn't like I planned to do this, and in the middle of a hallway no less, but this sudden desire certainly can't be reasoned with. It's like when you're a child, and you break one of your friends' toys; you do absolutely anything to make them feel better, right?

"Wufei…I…" His hand reaches down, gripping my shoulder tightly, and I look upwards almost shyly as my suddenly clumsy fingers fumble with his zipper. His aqua eyes are wide, his mouth slightly open as he stutters in shock, before gasping explosively as my hand slips inside. He feels…good. I won't deny it. It's almost hedonistic, and I grin as I trace the hot curve of his cock, running my hands over the warm cotton of his briefs. "It's alright…" I think I might have a heart attack about how I'm feeling him up so casually later, but right now it's just kinda…right.

"No, I-I didn't mean t-to…"

"Shh." It's actually a bit different to how I expected this to be. Sure, he's crowding me into the wall, my spine curved against the plaster and my ponytail pressed kind of brutally into the back of my skull, but I'm the one making it like this, one hand looped into his belt and pulling him forward. I'm the one gently massaging that heated bulge, leaning forward so I can inhale his musky scent, and it's so good I sigh giddily. He squeaks, I am not kidding, he squeaks like a mouse being trod on, and the lovely odour intensifies as a wet spot forms where the head of his cock sits against the waist of his underwear. "Wufei-!"

"I want to" I mutter. I place one hand on his thigh, lips quirking as I feel the muscles jump under its touch. He's like a racehorse, ready to bolt at the slightest prompt, and my hand slides up under his shirt as the other gently rolls his underwear down a little, making me adjust it until it was settled underneath his heavy sac. It's obscene, and beautiful, and everything I imagined him to be.

Okay, so I had actually been a bit of a pussy imagining the first time I ever sucked somebody's cock. You know, mood lightning, flowers, the works and jerks. But it's better this way, I think, because his reactions so real it has my legs squeezing together tight before I can stop them. Hands settle more heavily on my shoulders, an invitation to look up, and my breath catches as Quatre bites his lip, fingers stroking my nape tentatively as they lace behind my head, the poor boy half bent over to complete the gesture. "Wufei…"

"There's nothing wrong with this, is there?" I counter, the look in his eyes both tentative and exciting, because no matter how much he's asked and prompted I know it takes a level of intimacy with him to make it pleasurable. And many, many times I've told them that it's purely sexual – but with him, I think I have to sacrifice a little of my damnable pride, if only to make the look in his eyes flare again, like that first kiss, weeks ago. "Nothing wrong with me touching you like this?" My hand slides a little against his heated flesh, firming his erection until it rises hard and proud, and I feel a grin flash across my face as he hisses, jerking a little, legs trembling. I lick him again.

"No…oh god, no, don't _tease_ me, _please_…." His knees collapse beneath him, just as I thought they would, and all it takes is a gentle push to have him lined against the wall, the skirting board tracing his hip. I hover over him as he pants, forehead and shoulders already shining with sweat, blonde hair mussed and gorgeous aquamarine eyes dazed and filled with heat. "Wufei, I…"

His hands reach out; a voiceless plea, an echoing shout across the emptiness, and I lace them tightly with one of my own as I bend over him, straddling his left leg and letting my arousal rest heavily on his shin as I breathe in his muskiness, and feel that strange, invading thrill take hold of me and shake me loose of qualms and pride and even self.

Heh, it's so good I've nearly forgotten we're in the fucking _hallway_. Almost.

He can't spread his legs much, with my weight and the restriction of the wall against his side, but far enough that his pants pull tight across the trembling muscles of his thighs, leaving his arousal thrusting forwards with a almost laughable forthrightness. 'Wanting little thing, isn't it'. The thought flitters through my mind, barely a thread of consciousness, as everything slows and spins as amusement and stark, raving lust possesses me and leaves everything else unimportant.

Because that starkly graphic sight, that hardness, it truly is for me. It was Quatre's lust that was gripping me more tightly than my own, a loose knot of mounting emotion and terrible impatience that tighten my throat as my lips dropped dainty little pecks across the swollen, exposed tip. Taste explodes in me, around me, a thrill I can smell every time I fucking breathe, and I can't believe nobody ever told me how damn hot it is, to do this, to be able to do this for someone…

Officially forgotten where the hell I am. There's carpet, there's light, and so I'm guessing where still in the physical plane.

That fucking smell's driving me _nuts_. The vulgarity of it has me swearing under my breath as I lick a little more forcefully, flattening my tongue to slide more easily over that round head. Loop, re-loop, rewind, my lips are burning, my brains nothing but melting plastic, and I'm trembling like something mad and lost in a tiny little cage, shivering like I'm terrified and it's for all the right reasons. Oh, and in all the right _places_…!

Heh, if only the others could see me now.

His hands gather in loose handfuls of my hair, tearing it loose from my unsecured ponytail and pulling me closer towards his centre, until all I see is seemingly acres of heaving stomach, the tight golden curls leading down a fixation for my eyes as my tongue involves itself in different matters. When he first slides into my mouth, it's a surprise; the shock that ripples through him focuses every ounce of my attention on how he reacts, the way his knees part slightly more, one now riding high on the wall so he can bare himself even more to my untrained mouth.

Fuck, he's so hot.

I mean really hot, as in, oh god fuck me _now _hot.

When you get right down to it - and in this case quite literally, heh - the fascination of a blowjob changes from an 'ick' factor to an 'Oh my god I wasn't aware someone could make that noise' factor. Because he moans, a deep, low, earthy sound that shoots through my nerves like a shot of lightning as I nervously curl my tongue more around his heated shaft. It isn't quite as uncomfortable as I though it would be; the position slightly awkward but not painfully cramped, the pressure building inside my throat as I take more and more of him inside, a different kind of intimacy…

"Wufei", and I shudder as his trilling gasp ends in a choked off whine that leaves me flushed and wanting, "God…Wu_fei_…" His hips jerks up and down slowly, now a little more rebelliously, trapped inside the prison of his pants, his hands knotted more securely now as I learn the rhythm of giving of taking, of how much of his salty-sweet cock I can let inside before I start to choke. A flush is spreading down his heaving, sweaty torso, and I slide a hand up his ribs to tenderly rub his chest as he starts to gasp, staccato bursts of intense sound that grow and grow, escalating into almost ridiculously high pitched cries as I suck and rub with my tongue, my teeth, the inside of my cheeks, nipples hard little buds under my wandering palm and it's coming, God I know it is, _he's_ coming…

_**Ding.**_

Fuck. Me. Sideways.

"Wufei!?"

"_PERVERTS!!!"_

Of course, in the middle of Quatre coming in thick, hot spurts, that bitter taste overwhelming me and coating my tongue in a way I'll never forget, the elevator doors open. As I knew they fucking would.

And there's the Little Old Lady from down the hall, absolutely red with rage and embarrassment, turning to hit a tormented looking Duo with her walking stick as he tries….somewhat unsuccessfully…to juggle several bags of shopping as he gapes openly at my face still buried in Quatre's crotch. The shopping is hers, I take it, as I see a box of Depends go flying off into unknown territory.

_**Ding.**_

Me? I'm just about asphyxiating from humiliation. And because Quatre jammed himself as far down my throat as he could when he came. But that's not really the point, because its very rare you can see Quatre look completely mortified.

And he is. Blood red from tip to toe, to tip again, and he jams his shining half hard erection back into his pants, bright aqua eyes dimmed with mortification and shame and an absurd kind of guilty pleasure as the sound of his zip crossed across the mingled shouting and swearing coming from the continuously opening and closing elevator doors.

_**Ding.**_

"I'll meet you in the living room" he whispers softly, flicking his tongue quickly and obscenely across my jaw as he tugs his pants firmly into place, and I'm left sprawled on the hallways floor with my some-what tender jaw hanging around my knees, watching his retreating sweaty back as Duo finally loses his temper. Oh, and yeah, I'm still hard and hanging out my pants.

The _shame._

"Lady, lady, geez! Calm the fuck down! S'not like you've never-"

"I had the decency to do it in a bed! With a _man_!"

"Well, duh, look, they're both guys! I don't know about you, but I haven't quite forgotten that graphic little scene of _his_ cock sliding into _his_ mouth…"

There's a thud, as the tenacious little lady belts him with her cane again. I notice bemusedly that it's carved with small, curled up cats that make an interesting _**thwonk **_noise__when it connects with 02's forehead.

"His, and her, are very different little things, young man!"

"Aw, don't give me that homophobic bullshit, I bet you eye the other little old ladies at bridge or bingo or whatever and imagin' getting into their breast high panty-hose!"

_**Ding.**_

Funnily enough, I'm still hard. Even after all that. The Depends box is still frightening with its promise of old age and lost of bodily function, but I'm pretty sure I'm starting to recover from the sheer embaressment that still has my cheeks flaring neon. I shiver a little, before my eyes turn back to the hall. To the promise of the apartments open door. Depends Mysteries can wait.

Speaking of bodily functions…

Quatre _did_ mention something about the living room…almost like he was making a promise, and I couldn't have missed the way his bright aqua quick eyes darted to my cock like it was a lightning rod, the way his hips twitched back and forth minutely if I was blind– bad imagery, I know, it has me throbbing as I stagger up the hall. But if he's serious…

If he wants me to – fuck, what if he does? Blondie would really…?

"Fei…? FEI!? Oh god, I think she's the one with the mace!"

"Uuuu-_wah!"_

"Alright, I know it's not manly to beg, but – _ow, __**fuck**_!"

I might save Duo before I track him down first, of course.

I've always told him who's the superior pilot. Evil smirk? Yup, inserted right here.

… … … … …

_AN: CLIFFHANGEEEEER! =3_

_Okay, thanks are in order, for you guys putting up with me for nearly TWO FREAKIN' YEAERS. So, of course, I shall respond to some awesome reviews. I believe I haven't gotten so many for a single story, so kudos! You guys deserve way more than just a blowjob, which is why Nitro is divided into two parts – besides the fact a threesomes coming up. Can you guess who?_

_Oh, and I'll write hot!costume!sex! for the first person that knows what Nitro Glycerine is used for medically, and what it relates to this story._

_Reikoyazumi: I love you back for reviewing =3 And yush, Trowa twitching is priceless. In fact, in chapter 14, the zero G sex will feature a lot of him…twitching. _

_Getaiyou: Your proficiency has made me cry! BEST…REVIEW…FOR…MY…OOC'S….EVER!!! [Much hugs]_

_Astrakage: Eagerly? You flatter me, but here ya go. XD_

_Cabbitshivers: I certainly haven't made your millennium with this little chappie, but you've certainly made mine with such an awesome review! I go back every couple of weeks and read it until I grin so wide the husband looks at me funny! Thanks! =3_

_And to so many others! I have work in the morning! Ye shall receive thanks, next chappie, and I swear it'll be out before 2010! [Hides]_


	12. Intermission: GTFO The Bus

AN: This started off about as well as can be expected for a somewhat abandoned story. It doesn't help matters any when you take into account I'm about three quarters rip roaring drunk, back from the pub, 2 AM and slightly willing to write sloppy sex scenes.

Would that be considered a warning?

AND BY JOBE, ITS ONLY 2010 –hides-

BREATHING METHODS

… … … … …

_CaRdIaC ArReSt – PaRt 2_

The Tag-Team – Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner

… … … … …

…Of course, things never turn out as you plan. And I mean never, not that half-wishful pussy kind of never you can talk yourself into, out of, around. Never.

_Infinity_ never.

As much, and I truly mean this, as much as I would have liked to follow that trail of scattered clothes…the low light shining from Quatre's room…the soft music that somehow screamed debauchery and loose morals, the laptop blinking its little urgency lights took priority.

I really _hate_ that fucking laptop. It would look much better with a hammer buried in its screen, no?

Sighing wistfully, I let my fingers trail along the wall he had probably leaned on to shimmy those slacks of his quickly down his legs, before doing my own up in the process and forcing all kinds of nasty images to forget the lust that even now had me leaking into my heart patterned underwear.

Four different colored hearts.

…It was a gift from Duo. God, that guy has a sense of humor that's so _twisted_…

Double clicking confirmed my worse fears; the instant after my eyes had finished trailing over the period stamped so finally at the end, I was already digging my kit out from beside the couch, gathering my loose hair into a tail at the back of my head. The sound of my Luger clinking on the pathetically small and scarred tabletop brought Quatre's head out of his room, blinking. Eyes narrowed wearily as he slumped against the doorway, and my throat produced nothing but a dry click as the sheet wrapped loosely around his hips slid a little.

When I get back, that fucking laptop's toast! I'm serious!

"How long?" asked the soldier in him, but his body screamed reluctance and disappointment as he almost swayed across the room, hips rolling, the small of his back dimpled enough in I swear I could almost _see_-

I composed myself, but barely. I had the urge to tackle him to the floor and grind until him until we were both screaming, covered in sweat and him in nothing but an opened sheet and his baby blue eyes widened in pleasure and lust and-

"Ahem. Hemm-hah. Six hours. The minimum requirement is nine, but I thought I'd gun it to be on the safe side."

He checked the missive before he blew the hair back off his forehead, nose scrunched up as he peered at the ceiling. "This sort of supply convoy, Rommefeller will have creepers everywhere. They've been beefing up the security of them all ever since Noventa."

"I know, that's why I'm nabbing Duo on the way out. Unless…you have another suggestion?"

The hard eyes of a tactician evaluated me; I cursed my hormones as most of them stood up and started squeaking at the sheer way his sight possessed me, assessed me from tip to toe and probably other places I would never be able to think of inside the moment of that scrutiny. "You should be fine with Duo. He's getting damn good with those baton swirls of his."

Yes, master. I obey, master.

…But the thing is, I trusted him more with my life than I did any of the others, and that was saying a lot nowadays. He was clearheaded and level, sure and quick with his thoughts; he planned a situation right from the bare basics and built it up with nearly every possibility that could exist, drilled it through again and again until he was satisfied with all conceivable outcomes.

So, definitely yes master. If he had said go there with bells, whistles and a leather teddy on, I probably would, and asked how lacy to boot.

"Could have been a cheerleader in a past life," he continued, deadpan, leaning against the wall, hips so close to mine I could feel the heat through my civvies.

I snorted as I checked the safety of Maxwell's nasty little piece of black iron, preemptive but probably unwarranted; the guy would almost try to eat it to make sure it was ready for any sort of situation. "_You_ can tell _him_ that."

It was his turn to smile, a sly little smirk that made my own mouth feel stretched as instinct copied to follow. God.

"Meh." Fingers snapped imperiously as Death stalked into the door, his other hand shoved deep into his pocket, swagger wide and dangerous and setting off every instinct I've ever possessed. I handed him his gun, hand barely wavering, and he caught it with an index finger sliding neatly into the trigger guard; twirling it lazily as he stood hipshot in the center of the room, a living prescience of hell caught in a moment of rapturous catalogue. I can just tell he was thinking of how much juice he'd left in his scythe.

Is it wrong for me to be as turned on by this vision of pre-emptive slaughter as I was by nearly naked Quatre? Fuck yeah, but somehow my body convinced my mind that I shouldn't care about it one bit. It was doing hula dances again.

It did hula dances all the way out of town.

Four and a half hours later saw me sitting in my cockpit, drenched in sweat, blood gummy along the side of my face as I gently massaged my jaw. It hurt like a bitch. But then again, having your face rammed repeatedly into your console for three and a half minutes will do that to you.

Fucking Leos.

But, as Heero would say, mission successful. The convoy wasn't even half as armed as the mad doctors had feared, so having the braided pilot of Deathscythe along for a ride wasn't just enough; it was overkill, of the nasty, splattering kind. We wiped out the front wave defense in less than 30 seconds. When the relief troops arrived ten minutes later, there was nothing but smoking hot metal to greet their sensors as we fled like ghosts into the still, hot night, Duo cackling like a loon and me smiling despite the pain.

I was kind of pissed at Duo, though, for letting that one piggyback me when I went after their comm. plane. The vernier booster thrusters were as unbalanced as a prom queen in a snit. Couldn't fault him for the swearing when he realized how badly hurt my face was, wincing at me over the comm.-link even as he played merry hell with that blasted scythe of his.

And yes, even through the taste of blood, it was one of the most erogenous moments of my life.

Most of us have trained in mechas for years; even before the giant half finished frames of the gundams had ever fully realized their final shape, let alone their potential. Myself, I trained on the simulators every colony has; before the war, suits were mostly used in deep space as repair utilities, and as escape pods, in the off chance a breach of the colony's hull would occur in the hangers or private rented ports. Every child in our society has had the basic training; with Doctor O, it was just perfecting the uncanny ability I had enough to be on an even keel with Nataku, who, let's face it, is a little bit more special than your average J95 Unit.

But Duo made that damn suit an extension of his body, full of the same catlike grace and grievous insult that lined every muscle on his slim body. The way he had moved, cloaked in the deepest shadows in the night, thrusters purring and sensors jamming...it was like watching a wet dream, painted in glorious detail from the spluttering, hissing fires that raced along the MS fuel soaked ground.

He was glorious.

And he was mine.

Fuck, that's still one of the biggest turn ons, _ever_.

We settled fifteen minutes from the sprawling, outer labyrinth of the city's suburbs, in compact scrub that seemed natural even though we had spent about three days clearing out the damn things of big branches, and the dry brush that would ignite too easily from cooling, pinging metal. He was out first, a monkey like black shape clambering to the ground in three seconds flat, dragging his camo net behind him like some bizarre version of a security blanket. It took me about five minutes to peel myself off the back off my chair, so I was understandably a little irritated when the hatch whooshed open to find he was already peering in at me in concern, hanging liker a fly along Nataku's chest.

"Before you say anything," I said hastily, raising a finger when his mouth dropped open to start his ever-present babbling, "It isn't as bad as it looks. No, I don't need to go to the hospital. Yes, I still have ration bars for the walk back, and yes, I would appreciate it if you stopped poking at my face. Please."

He stopped poking my face.

"Whatever you say, 'Fei. Come on down, we'll get you cleaned up so we don't freak Quatre out when we walk through the door."

"I reckon you'd freak him out more" I muttered, and he grinned, eyes still alight with battle lust, body twitching with adrenaline. He was an intimidating sight, I realized, as he pressed on my shoulders 'till I knelt on the ground, rustling busily in my med-box as I let my fingers drag through the loose dirt. But not that irritating, militaristic kind of intimidating that's had me cringing for three years straight.

It was…I blushed, and hung my head, as the thought raced and curled inside, safe, where my fellow pilot couldn't see it...couldn't possibly be exploited. 'Like this he's…he's…_damn_…'

A monster trapped inside luminous human skin, cobalt eyes dancing, pupils dilated and nose flaring with each and every breath he took. Strong, agile and tender hands, gently checking along the seam of my skull, pausing along my nose and throat, checking the burns from nylon harness and spitting console alike. Fingertips. I swear, all I could feel was his _fingertips_, lifting my chin, his own dilated pupils trying to catch my gaze as I slid it away. Annoyance, in the huffed breath of air that escaped his pursed lips.

"Fei, ya gotta let me check your eyes, you might have a concussion."

In the faint moonlight, his hair seemed to shine with inner, blue fire. Loose and straggling from its braid, trailing along his vinyl pilot suit, half zipped up and that damn priests collar poking out the top like some sort of admonishment…

"Come one, Wu-babe, let me see" he finally whispered at my reticence, and my breath caught in my throat as calloused palms cupped my cheeks and brought my face and my eyes to meet his, nearly nose to nose with him.

It was an accident, I swear, that my lips slipped along his mouth as he gasped. Really. I swear. I know why he was so shocked, muscles tensing as his knees shot straight out to the side, plonking the damn idiot on the ground like he'd been set down by someone twice his size.

I told you Quatre had made me pretty worked up. Well, see a need, fill a need…

…Fill _me_, even…

I felt incredibly, utterly, painfully lazy. Too lazy to close my eyes, as my hands threaded through his loose hair, rubbing my cheek into his left hand as my lips nipped at the tender skin between his fingers. His shocked expression was almost priceless, but it was the surprise fading that made me pant wetly into his curling fingers, stroking along my lips. I couldn't help myself, dragging my tongue along his moist skin, lapping at the sweat that suddenly beaded, sweet and salty.

"Fei...!" I laughed breathily as he _squeaked_

"Oh Duo, my sweet, sweet boy…you're so priceless."

I rocked up, languidly, slowly, abandoning those sinful fingers to gently press my lips too his. Slow, careful pecks, a seduction so unlike that first, violent time in the stifling silence of an unwanted room. His eyes were wide, ghostly in the faint light; his expression kept shifting, from amused, to faintly nervous, and finally, as his lips curved and then pursed against mine, a bizarre sort of affectionate satisfaction that made my cock throb inside my pants.

This wasn't the best place; if I had a whimsy for a romantic side of myself, which I'm pretty sure had been either beaten out of me or never existed in the first place, I could find a million better places for this kind of thing to happen. A hotel room. Deep water, of some kind, so we could sink together in the dark. But the thing that had me moaning throatily was the thought a simple room, with two thin, narrow beds, one with a suitcase at the end and the other with a sophisticated sound system.

Trowa's room. And, by default…

Heero would have beaten the absolute shit out of us, had he caught us on the bus ride home. A couple of other guys, older men and surly from shift work, looked like they were about to anyway. Old women were offended. Teenagers giggled and pointed, fascinated and horrified. Fuck 'em all, as a certain pilot would put it. Heh, I've been taught some bad manners lately, sue me.

See, Duo had made very short work of packing up the site, burying evidence such as the emptied med kit, a smokeless fire burning the bloody swabs he had cleaned me up with. It wouldn't do for them to discover my DNA in this city, not with the present situation as chaotic as it was. Then we made the two-mile trek to the bus stop in silence, he taking point as I scanned the shadows behind to make sure we weren't followed. It was agonizing, seeing him ghost ahead, hips twitching in that familiar, heavy-footed gait that he seemed to gain when he was horny and just about ready to go.

The sight had me smirking.

Once the bus arrived, he went from standing aloof at my side, eyes bored as he scanned the street and fiddled with his music player, to…well…

Is it molestation if the victim isn't one at all, but a willing participant?

The bus was, by all definition, grotty. Those disgustingly vibrant vinyl seats, torn and worn with age and derelict duties of care, lined each side and crisscrossed the middle, near the ancient, grinding doors. The second we had neared an unoccupied area (Not hard to do, considering it was nearly midnight) he had turned to me, this _light _in his eyes.

The one I remember, in that first moment. When I had laid open and bare, him rising above me like this gloriously sweaty, aroused titan, fear and exhilaration flooding him and making him tremble.

The one that made my mouth run dry, each and every time.

He had smirked, as I stood rooted to the spot, gently leaning into a hipshot position, one hand on his waist, the other left in the air between us as his eyes glowed with heat. "You wanna make out a little, 'Fei?"

Uh, yes?

His eyes became hooded then, coy, the smile that crept slowly across his flushed features so far away from my vibrant blush as to make me seem ridiculous. "Take my hand, then, Wu."

It took an enormous amount of will to drag my sight away from his eyes and accede to his request. Gargantuan. Possibly Godzilla like proportions of will.

I wasn't the only one that gasped, when he swung me around as soon as our fingers brushed, then clutched; somehow we ended on the seat, my side slammed against the back as he put one knee on the bench, and turned to face me eagerly, eyebrows raised and lips parting in the sweetest grin I've ever seen. It made that sore, hot, infected place in my diaphragm swell, pushing agonizingly against my organs and making my breath catch; he had only ever smiled like that for _me_…

"Duo…"

"Come _here_, Fei…" Greedy hands caught me, as I struggled to raise to my own knees, sliding loosely against my shirt until they tightened under my arms, pulling the fabric and me forward. More gasps, but I was absolutely, positively breathless, pulse weak and thready as he loomed over me, a protector, a _lover_ that didn't care that dozens of eyes were watching me, watching how weak I was becoming in front of them…

The idea rocked me, then; that _he_ could shield me as well as Nataku could, an extension of our weaponry into defense, into a realm beyond my wildest expectations of him…this laughing, merry, maniac who made me feel hollow and full at once…

I'm quite sad to say, my brain was attending its own funeral at that point, and it didn't give a damn when he pulled me onto his lap, lips almost angrily crushing mine as the mutters began, and my heart stopped beating for the barest of moments. His groin pressing hard against my left thigh, and then both of us shifting, so he could press up and _in_, setting a slow burn that made me wrench my head back away from him, eyes squeezed shut, groaning as his hands slid from my armpits, down my side, around to my ass, squeezing harshly.

Lips against the side of my neck, when my position couldn't afford another kiss, and then teeth, scratching lightly at the sensitive spots he remembered, seeking ones he didn't know or had forgotten in the long interim since we had last – "Fuck, Duoooo" I whined, forgetting I was in a damn bus full of intensely curious passengers and shifting away from the stiffening length rising to meet me. "Not so…hard…"

"I know you love it" he whispered, eyes closing blissfully as he urged the nape of my neck with a strong hand, bringing us back into a scorching kiss that had me wheezing as every single milliliter of blood rushed en-masse to my cock. God, I'm in trouble. Not that I'm complaining, mind. I can barely feel the gash in my forehead anymore, so it must be a good thing.

He set the rhythm, the pulse, and the movement. For that twenty-minute ride home I felt blessed, lucky, lustful, warm. Safe. The staring didn't bother me after awhile, even made me feel a little excited, which I blamed on the adrenaline that was still coursing through my body. I was a teenager, locked into the embrace of another boy, making heads turn and whispers start, and it was so sickeningly wrong it felt absolutely…perfect.

Except for one, tiny, inconsequential thing.

His hand had slipped inside my shirt, rubbing teasingly along the edge of my right nipple, when I had the realization that I could ask. Yet asking such a thing went against even _my _nature, a selfishness that once unleashed I could never cage in again. Yes, once we got back to the apartment, I could take him. Against the wall, on that ridiculously squishy couch, in the bed where we first fucked and kissed and promised a thing we probably shouldn't have, and he would accede, and past orgasm and sleep and the guard of dreams I could forget that I had ever thought it.

But if these past few weeks have taught me anything, it's that desire can be triumphed, again and again, by the unexpected. That it could be shared and distributed and maybe even filtered through another's wants and needs, could be tempered by affection and randiness and sometimes a little pain. This could be it, this could be the time of my life where everything could be open, but it had me pulling back from teasing the inside of his lips. Because I could ask probably didn't mean I should, but I had to try. Didn't I?

"Um…you know…you know how you found me and Q-Quatre?" I glowered slightly when I stumbled over the blondes name and he snorted like a pig, but Duo's expression was curious, fingers gently stroking the skin over my heart as I let my weight drop and ceased the gentle rocking motion we had begun so many long moments ago. "Yeah, your point?" I snickered a little when I felt his cock jump against the front of my pants, as he remembered the incident in the hall with more than a little enthusiasm. Perve. Heh, I taught him well…

"Uh…you know…how, we kinda…?"

"…'How you kinda' sucked him off in the _hall_?"

I huffed as this one teenage girl let out a little squeal. Damn voyeurs, they're everywhere. "Past that, just a bit if you don't mind."

His brow scrunched up as he rested his elbows heavily on my thighs, eyes flickering as they assessed the emotions I could feel flittering like butterflies on my face. A little guilt, maybe, a lot of desire. He frowned.

"What are you saying, Wufei?" he began slowly, suspicion flaring as he leaned back from me, arms crossing his chest after he disentangled himself from my limbs. The hurt that pulsed inside, suddenly, slowly, shocked me a little. "That you'd rather…?"

"I don't know. No" I rushed a little, this odd form of panic twisting my words halfway between my brain and my swollen tongue. I sounded like a fucking retard. And my, isn't that one a familiar feeling lately. "No, not that. It's just, what he said, it-"

"I get it." I stiffened at the note in his voice, blankness I could have never imagined from him. "Hey, Duo, no…" I bit my lip as he slowly shuffled backwards, my knees slamming shut just seconds after he had eased his leg out from between mine, belatedly trying to catch him, I guess. My skin cried for the loss of warmth, stopping that insane crawling I'd come to enjoy immensely and instead shivered in the sudden, icy chill. "You really didn't want to do this tonight, eh?" I winced as he turned his face, until I could only see his profile; between the sudden, hurtful blankness, there was a pain there that made my stomach drop all the way through the bottom of the bus. "At least, didn't really want to do _this_ with _me_."

The emphasis carried worlds. It also made me feel like a piece of shit. Again nothing new. Fucking guilt.

Okay, so this had never quite happened before. It had crossed my mind, from time to time, what this unbelievable relationship could affect, and when. Scenarios from magnificent swordfights to domestic living in the suburbs, from open anger at each other to jealousy when another took me. And possibly Heero murdering us all and burying us in shallow graves somewhere, that one still woke me up sweating, sometimes. Wouldn't put it past Beasty-Yuy. I'm not blind. I knew that it could happen; that this thing I had started could snowball and bury us all under a mountain of pain and frustration.

So yeah, I could understand Duo's aloofness. I couldn't understand why it pained me so much, though.

And damn it, that wasn't what I was about to say, either. I hate it when I'm interrupted! It's like being hit in the face with someone else's opinion, and they can be as heavy as houses. Possibly colonies, depending on how much hard liqueur you've had.

I sigh.

Okay, to fix this.

It took me a moment to gather my courage – fuck it, I hate it when I get nervous – but I eventually moved my little finger. A whole millimeter, God, I was so proud of myself! And then two, a little bit more…an inch had my heart beating so wildly I thought it was trying to beat my lungs to death…and when I finally had curled my fingers into his priest collar, pulling a little harshly in my haste, he whipped his head around so fast I nearly fell off my seat. The crowd hushed in awed anticipation.

"What?"

I swallowed. Kind of too hard, maybe, the muscles Quatre had bruised earlier in my throat screamed violently and I coughed like a fifty year old smoking veteran, but I eventually worked my way through the mortifying embarrassment to lean closer to him. I admit, I got a little dizzy when I got close to his skin, he still smelt like fuel and sweat and maybe a little musk, glorious, but my lips eventually reached his ear and stopped, me breathing heavily, spine tingling, the works and jerks. Man…

This was a deal breaker, if I had ever see one. The multitude sensed blood, and leaned forward eagerly. I could see his eyes flickering towards me, this bad tempered look slowly blossoming in his down curved mouth, as his head slowly turned back to the front, angry and hurt and trying damn hard to let everyone in the whole world know by trying not to show it. I licked my lips before I pressed my mouth to his ear, fingers curling into his braid, stroking its heavy strands through my suddenly nerveless fingers.

Here goes nothing…

"Quatre said he didn't mind me…doing something. I was wondering, on the off chance, that _you_ might wanna fuck me when I do _him_." My whisper was so low, so full of sweet promise and dirty, moist temptation, I felt my deflating cock perk up a little at the sheer timber. Little whore that it is.

The perfect O his mouth made was so tempting I nearly came in my pants.

"MOVE THIS FUCKING BUS RIGHT. _NOW."_

I've never seen my boy move so damn fast in all the time I've known him.

Heh. We'll be home in no time.

AN: More to come in a moment. I'm soooooooo sorrrreh!


	13. CaRdIaC ArReSt 34

BREATHING METHODS

… … … … …

_CaRdIaC ArReSt – PaRt 3_

The Tag-Team – Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner

… … … … …

I'd like to say that Duo and me were valiant in this little quest for a - threesome. Ohmigod, I actually thought the word threesome, and it's a lot scarier than it had sounded when I was as hard as nails. I imagined that I wasn't a coward and actually did something manly for this whole situation for once. That we stampeded into the front hall, eyes blazing, hands clenching, but striding bravely forward and grabbing Quatre by the nape of his neck and doing all sorts of wonderfully naughty things to him. Probably with assorted foodstuffs, except that would be wishful thinking to say the least.

But Duo doesn't like lying that much at all, so I should probably tell the truth. God, the truth sucks.

Because, y'know, the truth was us dithering in the garden out the front of the building, fretting like mad and running around like headless chickens. Not the kinda thing you want to be retelling to your other conquests at a later date, at any rate.

Not the kinda thing I wanna remember, either. And it had seemed like such a great idea at the time…

Eventually we settle onto the brick wall I had sat on when I had talked at Trowa a couple of weeks ago, in this gloomy sort of silence that won't seem to lift. I have my hands clasped between my knees, staring blankly at the far city lights, while he drums his feet slowly against the wall, whistling a cracked and broken tune under his breath and looking up at the night sky.

This continues for maybe half an hour. I've never lost an erection so fast in my life.

So, it was no wonder I perk up so much when he turns to me in all seriousness, planting his hands on his knees and giving himself this sort of mental shake that translated to the physical. His smile was cheeky in this subdued kind of way, and I was grateful when he slowly drew my arm from between my legs and clasped it in his, this sort of warmth just beaming from him in waves, heat that melted the icy nervousness away – nearly totally, to boot. God, he can be so sweet, my boy.

"He can always just say no. That's probably the worse that can happen, right?"

I gape. That simple, huh?

Maybe…maybe it can be.

Knowing that Quatre was a sex maniac helped that decision factor quite a bit, and I don't complain as Duo leads us inside the suddenly foreboding building, keeping me so close to his side his braid thumps my waist with every slow footstep. The elevator took eons to travel its way up to the fifth floor, all the while the braided pilot watching the floor monitor anxiously. I snort. So much for not being afraid of Psycho Grandma.

"We'll approach this like any plan of attack" he intones in a low voice, as if the moment after we stepped out of the elevator was something momentous, and sacred. Considering that I'm nearly having a heart attack just catching a glimpse of the front door made that possibility seem highly appropriate. "I mean, we could subdue him with a stun gun, tie him down if he's already asleep…"

I quirk a brow, but a familiar quicksilver grin flashes at me as Duo blows his bangs off his sweaty forehead in a gesture I found sweetly endearing. God, he can give all of them a run for their money in terms of sheer cuteness, sometimes. "Or, like I said, we could just ask. Knowing how he looked just before we left is actually helping me think this idea's a good one, after all."

"Yeah, he'd just got his dick sucked" I say breezily, ignoring that weird, choking snort of his he calls a laugh as I start to march slowly up the hall. Very slowly. Not that I'm severely terrified and almost manic with fear, of course. "I think I said once, to you as I recall, that having your dick sucked can be a pretty mind-blowing experience. I don't begrudge him that at all."

He was shaking his head as he caught up to my side in a couple of quick bounds, full of that enviable energy that left me tired just watching him for any lengthy amount of time. His expression was a mixture of amusement and just a trace of confusion; bright cobalt eyes made a quick study of my face, becoming a little tense around the edges as he noticed my expression. Okay, so acting blasé was never my strong suit, but I hate that he's even more likely than even Quatre to look past it and see the seething currents beneath.

I deliberately turned my head away, a little unsure of his scrutiny, but let him entwine our hands and fingers together as we approached the palm at the end of the hall, right next to Apartment 55. I took a brief moment to feel a simple happiness in the fact that we could do that so easily now, all of us; that I could be pushed against or down on any available surface, kisses wrung with haste due and not and then let go with tired grins or battle-manic smiles that set my blood to boiling. All without a second thought, no second-guessing, with me never being second to anything.

That major boost to the ego sometimes has me masturbating furiously while sitting on the toilet more often than the lusty contacts.

…Actually, it's nearly always the ego.

I'm starting to think I may be a little warped in my sexuality.

There was almost silence as we reached the entrance, me staring at the door in a kind of horrified fascination, and I nearly jump out of my skin as the gentlest of kisses landed on the side of my neck.

Duo has very rarely been serious in front of any of us, the longhaired pilot preferring to fill whatever uncomfortable silence there was with laughter and brevity. But the few times caught outside the freedom this behavior allowed, he was a sobering, private individual, and it was this side of him that gently turned me around, hands lax around my waist but with the tiniest edge that I immediately responded to.

Instinct, kink, call it what you will, but with Duo I was a little bit more affectionate than with the others. Daily make out sessions with Trowa and Heero were almost a given, the boys having more control with their sexual impulses, not needing a climactic release to be assured of my somewhat misplaced affections on them all. Duo, however, was a needy, affectionate, greedy bastard, typically American, who loves to just touch sometimes. I think it might be another ones of those times, as I notice his breathing steadily getting faster, his lids lowering to give him that smoky, half-undone look I find so suitable on him.

However, what he says next blew any misconceptions I may have had about his personality out of the water. Possibly out of the atmosphere.

"Don't think that Quatre would ever allow himself to regard you as just an outlet, 'cos that's never gonna happen, buddy." He smothered my gasp with an urgent, smothering kiss, lashing his tongue against my lips as his hands and arms entwined behind my back, giving me support as my knees buckled at the sheer truth and knowledge his mobile face held. This miserable, sort of choked whine escape me then, his own face twisting in mirrored discomfort as I turned away again, because I'm…I'm…

"Oh don't be scared, Fei. Don't be scared of this. You should have seen the way he watched you, the way he moved when he was sure you couldn't see, he wants you so badly…wants _you_, not an empty vessel, not a convenient-" And at this his eyes screw up in a pain I could have never before imagined from him, a self disgust filled with such volumes it made the gorge rise in my throat. "Not like I believed, that first time. The way you wanted me to believe it."

I bite my lip so hard it splits, blood spilling inside my mouth as I turn away, anything not to face…that entreaty…that vulnerability… "It's the way it should be," I whisper, softly, sadly. More than a little regretfully, which surprises me so much I twitch away from him a little. Gentle hands force me to look, again and again, as he reassures me with every fiber he has, with the gentle kisses being rained down across my skin like blessings.

And he was too sweet for words. Any man who can ignore another man having the sads because he's nervous about a little nookie can go up for sainthood, in my humble opinion. He even let me use his hankie to blow my nose, the softy.

Heh, he really is a sweetie. Never will admit it, though.

It took maybe five minutes for us to both calm down – c'mon, with our bodies pressed so close together, I'd be a fool not to note him trembling as well – so when Quatre cleared his throat, neither of us jumped a foot in the air like we wanted to.

Well, Pilot 02 certainly tried to climb out of his skin, but the hands I had clasped to his ass sort of nullified that possibility. Glued would be a more suitable term, actually, I guess. That boy has serious buns of yummy, if you pardon the implied 'I would never say that in a million years'. Because I wouldn't, y'know.

…Still, they are very yummy…

So here it is, this tableau of somewhat charged awkwardness; Duo lounging against me now, over his small shock and looking every inch the charming devil we've all come to expect him to be. Quatre, clad in nothing but a pair of pale blue boxers, arms crossed across his chest as he leans against the doorframe smugly, aqua eyes sleepy but strangely keen and alert, as well. Me, poised between them, a little sweaty with nerves and with my head hanging kind of low, but the proof of my cock finding this whole thing very interesting is definitely starting to show through the cotton, chest heaving, thighs flexing, the works.

And then Psycho Grandma comes back for her poor forgotten box of Depends.

Joy.

30 seconds later has us barricaded inside Quatre and Trowa's bedroom, with Duo pushing the tiny dresser under the doorknob. Quatre stood behind him, that little sprint having doubled him over with ridiculous ease, while I hung out nervously by the foot of Trowa's bed, curiously eyeing the small knick-a-brack the boys had picked up since we began our stay here, two months ago.

It was easy to know which bed was Trowa's, by the way. There's only so much you can do to get grease out of sheets, and judging by the dark smears across the fabric at foot and hand height, it's not hard to guess. The duck motif kinda surprised me, so I have a silent little giggle at the availability of stuff in second hand shops, before the even more silent…er, silence, at the other side of the room, snaps my attention like a laser back onto my targets.

Yeah, so it doesn't take me as long as it used to, to get over the odd panic attacks. It's only natural to build up immunity, yeah? Get off my case.

So yeah, my targets. Looking even more delectable than a mobile dole base sitting unguarded and pretty in a mountain range, my favorite site of attacks. Flames rush easier uphill, as you well know, and some very special types of heat were beginning to show in certain…sensitive areas, if you get my drift. I could have never imagined that these two, together, would ever…

Duo's acting nonchalant again, like he usually does when he doesn't want anyone to know what he's thinking. Perched carelessly on top of the dresser, legs crossed at the knee, one foot swinging lazily and letting the faint light catch in an arc over the toe of his shoe. I know he deliberately left his eyes in shadow, but I could still see a faint sparkle as his gaze swung between me, Quatre and the bed, lips quirking up in a little grin at my stillness.

I licked my lips as he deliberately let a hand drop into his lap, adjusting himself, and the small movement caught Quatre's attention and lets me study his profile as he swings around with wide eyes. I wince as his hand lifts, to cover his chest in a purely defensive move, but I gasp as the movement pulls all his muscles taut – tight, against his skin, rippling with the small move and making my mouth water like it had never had before. Blue flickered back to me then; pinning me to the ground as that hard light of his returned, assessing the situation from all the angles he could infer at this moment in time. Two breaths caught, as he studied us; two hearts pounded as he tensed like a cornered animal, slightly dropping into a crouch as his fist clenched over his heart.

I could say that I acted like a braver man would, at that moment. That I swaggered across the room like I owned the damn thing, and these pretty little things were trespassers in my own little slice of paradise. Of course, when it comes to these things, I seem to have used up all my audacity in attacking Duo that first night, so I kinda just went with instinct instead.

I close my eyes.

I let my hands drop to my side – I swear, I didn't even realize they had covered my mouth until I tried to take a breath.

And then I turn my back on both of them.

It takes more effort than I realize, y'know, to pretend that you're the only person in a room when there are others present. Harder to ignore the fact that this weirdly charged air still lingered, making my pulse throb in my throat as my muscles twitched, as if trying to escape. But somehow I forced my body to remember years upon years of training, perfect stillness and grace, as I pretended to study the bed and give myself a moment to think.

Yeah, Quatre had been nice enough to explain his previous situations with me; sometimes making me a little jealous that his sexuality could evolve so naturally and effortlessly, like sex was a perfectly _normal_ part of life. Heh, I know it is now, but hang-ups are hang-ups. And I knew Duo's little deliberate move had thrown him, not expecting such an erotic display mere seconds after escaping the Cane of Doom and all that entire thing implies.

But a part of me sensed the air as precious, as well. Full of a quiet hope, not quite an expectancy. That this could swell, and include all of us in a wave that hopefully wouldn't drown us all.

That might have been all me, but I'm kinda hoping it's them as well.

Hmm…it's an interesting theory. But enough of that.

Okay, so back to the plan.

Duo couldn't keep quiet for long, starting to fidget as I stand stock still at the foot of Quatre's bed, and I didn't even wince as he cracked his knuckles, a nervous move I know well from him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Quatre had backed up against the wall, leaning back so his shoulders pressed firmly to the plaster, hips thrust forward as he picked up on the waves of energy seeming to cross between us in meaningless patterns. His breath whistled between slightly parted pink lips; eyes the colour of the slow water off a golden beach watched me with a nervously sinful intensity.

I 'wearily' scanned the crumpled sheets at the end of the small single bed; my lips curled up in a bit of a sneer as I leaned closer, smelling the musk of a sleeping man permeating every inch of the material, and my cock swelled a little as the indent of a body who lies still while they slept caught my eye, letting me know Quatre slept curled on his side most night, one arm tucked up just underneath his chin as the other disappeared somewhere under his pillow. Such an innocent position. How very like Pilot 04.

It's when the second scent hits that I know I've made the right decision in following instinct. Because all my plans go out the window when I smell something a little…familiar.

A little closer to home, if you're male.

It hits me like a bullet, and basic motor function goes out the window as my eyes widen so fast everything blurs for a moment into black and white, my knees failing as I moan against unprepared throat muscles, the sound hideous with suddenly ravenous need.

God, I can smell it. I can _smell_ it. In this bed he's touched himself, he's rubbed against these ugly paisley sheets, hard cock clasped in his hand or sliding against the mattress. He's let his hair muss against that slightly singed pillow as his hips thrust shallowly, random images of how he bites his lips, the way his face creases when he's close to orgasm flooding my inner eye and giving my cock the go ahead. The shaky sound that escaped me then would have been embarrassing, if I hadn't already stuffed a hand inside my pants, gripping tight as orgasm thunders inside my veins, threatening to explode already. There's noise behind me, a groan of dismay or delight as I shudder weakly, panting suddenly as lust throttles me and sweat prickles under my arms as I propel myself onto the bed properly with one arm and unsteady legs.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: Prem Jac Fei, fastest gun in the east."

"Oh God, Duo, go _fuck_ yourself," I moan as Quatre lets out this keening little giggle, still nervous but becoming more comfortable as I continue to have my little episode of lusty confusion. See, my hormones, plus the undoubtedly ripe scent of a teenager on the constant verge of whipping it out and playing with it at the dinner table sorta sends all my considerable senses into overdrive.

And yes, my senses were at war with each other, and of course my nose was armed with thermonuclear devices. It was better than the smell of the iodine coating my face, at any rate.

"You know I have a better idea than that, Wu-babe," the braided pest snickers darkly, as he slithers off the dresser like a damn serpent. Me and Quatre both watch him warily as he does his 'horny walk' over to the foot of the bed; incidentally, this put him about a foot behind me, and therefore out of my line of sight. However, I can see the look on Quatre's face, and he's undoubtedly staring at Duo in rapt confusion. "Well, well, well, 'Fei. You have a pretty neck, I ever tell you?"

If he's doing bunny ears behind my head, at this point in the game, I swear to god I will fucking castrate him.

But that's just me being defensive. You nearly always are when you realize that you misjudged something pretty badly in the first place, and I've done that about fifty three times since breakfast.

I bite my lip, staring blankly as I do what I should have done all along; that first moment when we had landed at the site, the way he had swaggered, his demeanor, his actions…tonight was gonna be his show. Duo was calling the shots. And by the slowly blossoming understanding in Quatre's very body language, I can guess this reign won't be a one-sided affair.

And me?

Well, I'll be doing my very best to survive this thing with an intact sense of humor, because this waiting is driving me nuts. Carrot Top nuts, even.

But also…

A much harder thing. Thinking of myself as more of a passive observer than a participant. Being able to withstand the passions of two of my fellow terrorists – as we are still, after a fashion – and survive the night with my body and my mind intact.

Because Quatre is very good at adapting to situations, given a bit of time. And the wolfish grin spreading across his innocent face is giving me that skin crawling sensation in the best possible way.

They both blinked as I pointed a finger at them both, whirling around to accuse Duo first, and then letting it wander back to Quatre, poking him in the chest until he winced and stopped staring at the hand I had shoved down my pants.

"There are rules for this, I'll have you know. No biting, kicking, swearing, fighting-"

"Yes, mom," Duo sighed, looking very much put upon and rolling his eyes heavenward. His tapping foot made a growl rise inside my throat before I could stop it, and Quatre looked highly amused as he watched me crawl up the bed. "It'd be kinda fun to bite, you know…"

"-No shoving, teasing, tearing, no unprepared sex, no cutting, fisting, watersports-"

Quatre snorted, crossing his arms across his chest and doing his very best to look unimpressed, while Duo got that look – the one that goes with the huge, neon question mark seeming to hang overhead as if to say 'yush, me stupids'? Yeah, that one. Okay. I guess we'll need to educate him one day, but until then having an ignorant death god in the bedroom was a much safer plan than the alternative.

"And most of all…"I trailed off, picking nervously at the hem of my shirt as they both sat gingerly on the bed, Duo at the foot and Quatre at the side. "Just, don't…God, I don't know how to explain it, but just let me…"

"We'll take it easy, Fei," Duo smiled warmly, past the nervous tic and the trembling hands. Joy.

And a small grin and a nod from Quatre sort of sealed the whole deal.

My heart started to pound as I realized that this was actually happening.

Jesus Christ.

We were there for a long time, locked inside a tragic sort of moment. The breath kept catching in my throat. My palms sweated and I gasped a little when Duo shifted lazily, as if he was stretching – a sinful movement I couldn't tear my gaze away from. I continued to lose what was left of my mind as he laid himself down carefully on the wrinkled sheets, braid flung to the side so it wasn't caught beneath his weight. Duo smiled when his fingertips brushed against mine, sweeping back and forth slowly. A startling touch on my ankle drew me to Quatre's honest gaze, the blonde pilots breath easing and becoming deeper as he started to run that hand along the hem of my pants, tickling my calf.

I felt the lust seep into me then, as if I was a glass jar slowly being lowered into the warmest of bath waters, a gentle sensation that was vicious in its intensity none the less. I can't believe this is happening. The awkward movements, as I crept up a little on the bed, closer to Duo's sweet, open face. My boys took a moment to compose themselves, as hands entwined with mine; I felt like a bridge connecting an unimaginable gap, as they lost their focus on me to gaze warily at each other. Quatre was the first to look away, but I gasped as I noticed the obviously swelling bulge in his pants.

We hadn't even kissed, and already my cock was trying to climb out the top of my underwear. I couldn't find it in myself to care though, no matter what they would snigger about afterwards.

The anticipation alone was nearly enough to quench my sudden cravings.

It was the bravado that came with that knowledge that let me clamber until I was on all fours over Deathscythe's pilot, feeling his heat radiate up to me as I wedge my knees either side of his narrow hips. The burning desolation of the pure, unforced desire in his unguarded gaze wrung a strangled moan out of me, and Quatre huffed a breath alongside my cheek as he swung his weight into my side, leaning against me as he rose to all fours as well.

There was silence, as I traced a thumb over Duo's lips, his hand letting go of mine to run hesitantly over my shoulder, up and over so a steady hand gripped the back of my neck in his burning palm. "Oh fuck," he whimpered, bucking his hips a little as Quatre moaned out his frustrations at the angle, closing his mouth over my ear in an open mouthed kiss. Electricity quivered through me and pooled like a brand inside my lower gut as he stabbed his tongue into the whorls, eyes slipping closed as I grunted at the almost-painful-shockingly-sensitive reaction as my nerves started singing Hallelujah and requesting Mai-tais. The long whine that escaped me as he did it again, and again caused all three of us to shake, the sound becoming more high pitched as Duo suddenly lost what little patience he had, right hand slamming down on my ass as he grinded up and into me fiercely.

Oh god, this was going too fast. Way too fast. Underneath my sudden exhilaration was a stab of pure fear, fear I masked well as I tried my best to grind back with suddenly boneless limbs.

"Take them off" Quatre growled into my ear, breath cooling the saliva and making me twitch in new and interesting ways as he leaned all his weight over my back, crushing my hips against Duo's again as he ran his tongue over my still clothed back. The heat and moisture even through the cloth was making my eyes roll back in my head even as the panic threatened to stop my heart, and fire prickled through my skin as I felt his tongue slide up to meet when Duo's hand still urged my neck down towards him.

The startled snort Duo let forth let me confirm the sensation; little flicks of a clever tongue as Quatre teased the skin surround Duo's fingers, every now and then disappearing though the wet, heavy sounds continued, the sounds of a busy moth at work. Duo gasped each time, louder and louder, making his eyes widen as be both craned to turn our heads and look at the deranged boy at the same time.

Burning aquamarine, like the fires of hell itself, offered no apology. He even smiled as he sucked Duo's finger off my back with the second most obscene popping noise I have ever heard in my life. Duo swore. I grinned. "God, Quatre," I muttered through my shock and unease and sudden almost-orgasm, "can you do that to my ass? Seriously? _Please_?"

The world stopped.

I've never seen somebody freeze like that before, ands the both of them doing it at once gave me the most dizzying sensation of shock – time even seemed to skip a beat. And I knew it must have been a pretty horrible experience for them, because every muscle in my body clenched as well as the almost unrecognizable timbre of my voice shattered the moment. Possibly beyond repair.

I sounded absolutely, positively terrified. Voice shaking, words cracking, the works. Shit.

After a very, very, very long moment, Quatre unpeeled himself from my back, eyes wide as I trembled over a suddenly anxious Duo. Whose hand was still clasped to my ass, by the way.

I did it again. Scared myself silly, and all because I felt a little out of my depth. This sounds eerily familiar…

My head drifted lower and lower, weighted down by the hand on my neck, until my forehead was buried in an angular shoulder and my hips were raised above me. I couldn't imagine the sight I presented, all bent over like that, still panting as I tried to ease the panic clouding my lungs. And it wasn't like it had been too much, either, because it had been enjoyable. Their touches had excited me; there was no question of that, my pulsing cock still straining against my underwear as I sweated out the fever in my skin.

It was just…

"We're not stopping" I grated out, feeling slightly vindicated as they jumped. I lifted my head slowly, eyes blurring until they focused on wide, panicked cobalt, and I forced a feral grin between my clenched teeth as Duo mouthed meaningless words at me, obviously unsure of how to deal. "As I said earlier, just let me. Let me touch you."

I swung my gaze to Quatre's, and snatched his hand as he leaned back at the ferocity of my gaze, paling slightly as he did a weird sort of shuffling dance backwards. "Let me suck you. Lick you, bite you…"

Duo huffed out a whine, hand leaving my ass to scratch at his ribs as he shifted nervously under me. "I thought you said no…?"

"I didn't lie." I blinked. "I just…I don't know."

"You do want this, don't you? Because we can stop. We – I would never force you to do something you would never want to do," Quatre said in a low tone, fidgeting nervously as he pulled a pillow onto his lap. I could actually feel my eyes soften as I stared at these boys, these wondrous men who would put up with me despite my obvious insanity.

I mean, come on. Who would honestly pass up an invitation like this?

"Just don't…crowd me."

They both blinked. And then narrowed at the same time, and I knew they could understand exactly what I meant. To be hemmed in like that, no escape route, to be presented with only the one option and not finding it quite agreeable…we've all spent time behind OZ prison bars. And, as far as I know, only Duo and me have ever been treated to the hospitality of an interrogation room. My interrogator was actually a lovely lady. Gertrude. Smelled like decaying flesh and peach air freshener, liked whips.

"Ohhhh" Quatre said softly, and then grinned as he flung the pillow to the other side of the room, Duo tracking the process. He missed the moment my eyes narrowed, gaze drawn to the way the blonde teenager just flung himself back easily onto the ugly paisley sheets, hand absently rubbing the front of his boxers. God, talk about easy, eh? But there was a question in the set of his mouth, and that strange, debilitating fear seemed to exit – stage, right, all at once. Gone. Pooft.

"How about you just have a look at me, for a bit?" the blonde demon disguised as our fellow pilot breathed, licking his lips in a quick sweep as the rubbing became a bit more deliberate. The outline of his cock was clearly visible, fingertips dancing along the head and tapping their way down to right between his legs, twitching the material in a pincer grip as I gaped like a landed carp. Burning blue exploded in a gaze so heated I felt like the whole room could ignite if it continued even just a few seconds more. "Hmmm? You want to, yes?"

"I can't get how you can still talk like a yuppie while you do that" Duo muttered, pushing himself up on his elbows as Quatre did the same on one, until I was kneeling on the mattress between them, gaze swinging as little tremors of excitement started to fill my belly in a way like never before.

Quatre snorted, shifting his sights onto Duo as the skinny pilot swung himself up beside me, pressing into my side and flinging one arm around my shoulders as I shuddered at the sight of that pale, delicate hand slipping almost demurely under the hem of those suddenly annoying underpants. Blondie politely ignored Duo's small, rapturous sound as that hand shaped a larger bulge, straining the stitches as he slowly jacked himself off right in front of us. "Uncouth civilian scoundrels have no inclinations to ever begin to understand…"

"Oh my god shut the hell up and – mmphh." Duo gasped as I groped my own hand down between his suddenly spreading thighs, pants annoying but somehow scandalous as I rubbed at his erection, turning quickly so I could sink my mouth onto his neck in a feral, open bite. He growled as his own arms snaked around me in a crushing grip, braid swing to the side as he titled his head so he could lick his way to my mouth, hands greedy as they drank in all the wrinkles in my silk shirt, trying to imprint them into my skin. "That's pretty" Quatre murmured, panting softly, and Duo broke away with a gasp, watching the blonde with wary eyes as his hand slowly sped up, slick sounds starting to emerge from the movement as precum no doubt began to wet his length.

As you can no doubt imagine, my tongue was currently somewhere around my knees and enjoying every minute of it at that point. Sometimes I wonder if certain parts of my anatomy are a bit more perverted than others…

…and yes, there is no need for me to continue that line of thought, don't you think?

"So….um….what exactly are we, uh, doing here? Tonight?" I swear to god, Duo blushed the brightest red I've ever seen as we both turned on him with incredulous stares, but he somehow managed to carry his embarrassment into a sweet look of sheepishness as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, Wufei had like, the greatest idea imaginable on the bus…"

"You nearly made him drive into that newsagents, screeching like that" I muttered, and Quatre laughed breathlessly as he shifted restlessly, hand still languidly moving but slow enough so that he could still focus on the conversation. "So I take it the idea has me kinda like this, huh…?"

"More than a little like that" Duo breathed, shifting restlessly himself, nervous but randy and utterly delectable, a look of consternation painting his face in shadow. "It all depends on whether or not _we_ can do this, if you know what you mean."

Quatre looked at him for a long moment, hand stilling as the seriousness of what we were about to do smothered the excitement, made him rethink the situation. Not that I hadn't been thinking about it nearly the entire time, unable to barely formulate it into thoughts, let alone words. To upset a balance so delicate as the one that exists between us five - it's so crass as to be unimaginable. I had been unbelievably lucky so far, not to have done so myself, with everything that had happened since that first night. That first frightening, wonderful, uniquely singular night that had changed my life in ways that seemed at once permanent and yet superfluous and callously shallow.

But this was different. This may have been asking too much yet again, was my thought, as my fellow pilots stilled to unblinking statues, a weird effigy laid out in an ugly little bedroom as they stared each other down like lone predators who had just stumbled upon a fresh carcass and was wondering if it would be worth the fight to grab that mouthful.

Of course, the moment snapped when I started to strip, already knowing the outcome and maybe a little too selfish to actually care what might happen after alls said and done. Quatre bit his lip as my shirt landed awkwardly on the small bedside table, Duo reaching a hand out unthinkingly to steady the small lamp it had nearly upset as I gasped out an inpatient enquiry. "I don't think I care" Quatre said slowly, cautiously, eyes flicking back to Duo for a moment, and I caught the flash of white, even teeth out of the corner of my eye as the braided man grinned viciously. "Neither do I, mate. Get your kit off and let's do this."

Of course, the small child in me was screaming in delight at this point, but that's neither here nor there. Because of the naked skin slowly being bared as they followed my lead and started to strip – Quatre played with the hem again, but actually seemed more interested on having someone take them off for him - apart from the blood flowing in a flood to my now aching cock, nothing didn't really seem to matter anymore…

Fucking hell, I am one lucky bastard.

Despite living in a fairly modern apartment complex, it doesn't mean everything is reliable. Take the boiler room for instance. It powered the hot water, converted the buildings waste, all those lovely modern things. What it probably wasn't meant to do was channel directly into the air conditioning ducts, but their you go.

So despite this being the hottest seen I've seen for a while, the actual temperature was more than a delight as I bared my twitching skin to the muggy air. Lethargic pleasure danced through my nerves but its teeth were sharp and hooked, trembling in the pit of my stomach, cascading in waves down into an almost infuriating sort of twitch. I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck so bad I could barely taste it, and the almost instant loss of control should have frightened me more than it did, because there was no flicker of panic as I laid myself down over Quatre's shining white body, sweat slicking us chest to chest as I closed my hungry mouth over his in a surpassingly dominant kiss.

Hands instantly slid up my back; my breath caught in my throat and my cock twitched against a mirroring erection as Duo's slid along the path and sometimes overlapped the paths the blonde had taken. Hips twitched involuntarily against my flank as Duo stretched long limbs out behind me, rocking comfortably on his knees as he position his cock against my lower back, biting his way along one shoulder blade as his hands planted themselves deep into the sheets and twisted them closer towards us.

It shouldn't have worked as simply as it did, this simple slide from tentative agreement into full play, but the lust in me was greedy and gluttonous, crying out in hollow tones as their bodies answered mine and rose to the occasion magnificently.

Besides, the look on Quatre's face when Duo's knees nudged him in unexpected areas was totally worth it. But the look after that….

"Quatre…" I panted along his skin as long limbs trembled restlessly beneath me, elbows crooked as he ran his palms along the sides of my neck, thumbs smoothing the line of my jaw and catching the drops of sweat that were forming there. He stared back up at me almost guiltily, lips parted and teeth glinting as he flashed me a tired smile. I could see the way his eyelashes clumped together, still dusty with sleep even after all the excitement, noticing for the first time a looseness to his body that hadn't been there earlier in the day.

"You kinda wore me out earlier, sweet," he hissed, hips rising sharply against mine once, twice, as Duo settled himself heavily on the both of us, pressing my groin down and bowing my back as I flinched into a bite to the back of my neck. "I've been thinking about it all day, the way you almost sucked me dry…"

Well, _that_ wrenched a groan out of me, sudden tingling in my palm answering an unbearable want as I flipped to the side, ignoring the indignant squawk this resulted in as Duo fell to the other side of the blonde boy, but they both gasped as I clutched the greediest part of me, cradling my cock in my palm as I snuffled into the pillow like a deranged beast "Mmmmph." So sue me, I'm still a teenager. I'm allowed to have moments of weirdness and self pleasure.

Ok, y'know what? Shut up.

Over the small shock, Duo laughed as he bounced back into a kneeling position, nudging Qat with his elbows as he leaned over him to smack a noisy kiss on my chest. "Thirsty boy."

Quatre leered, whispering touches against the both of us as he continued to lay there like some sort of martyr, legs pressed close together but arms flung wide to embrace the both of us as he curled them around and over our waists. And as far gone as I was, I couldn't help but notice the tepidness he had when it came to handling the Deathscythe pilot, even though a true desire was there in the touch. "You have no idea. Maybe he'll be a good little boy and decide to have a taste of you…"

"Stop calling me boy and speaking about me like I'm not here. Its rude." Unrepentant grins challenged my slightly irate mumble, and I sighed as I laid down next to Quatre, curled over and above him as I let my nose nuzzle the crown of his head. "Tell me you have lube, Winner" I whispered quietly, the ache almost unbearable at the sight of so much flesh, so much skin, and it was all there and mine for the taking and –

And Quatre's shining blue eyes softened as he tilted his head back to look at me, hands reaching over to stroke once down my side before curling in a loose grasp over my waist, fingers trailing against my hipbones. "You forget me, Chang. I'm ready for you now."

That's about the time when my brain imploded.

Two pairs of eyes flashed wide as I _keened_, miserable and mindless as my whole body jolted and clenched down tight, hands suddenly nerveless as I bolted into an upright position, fumbling with Quatre's stupid boxers and they wouldn't move and I couldn't breathe and everything was too tight my skin my clothes oh god….

"Wu-babe, shhh, calm down" Duo growled in my ear as he leaned closer to me, Quatre's fingers still listlessly dragging along his back as he closed his hands over mine, the blondes eyes shutting as his lips parted and his head tilted back. "Here, I'll help you, take it easy….breathe…"

"Can't, can't, can't…"

"Yes you can."

And he helped me drag them down those pale white legs, both of us only noticing now the dampness everywhere, the sticky residue of lube clinging to my skin and to his as we shucked Quatre of the last remnants of modesty like shucking a poor oyster from its shell. It didn't look like he minded, though. And Duo certainly didn't seem to mind as I pressed desperate kisses to his smirking mouth, taking reassurance and even giving it as the excitement in the air seemed to burn everything it touched.

And then I remembered that Quatre was naked, so my wide eyes locked onto his proud, rosy cock, and instantly my mouth started to water.

They both huffed as I carefully planted my knees, one between Quatre's legs and the other pressed close to Duo's flank as I arched my back over, and then Pilot 04 nearly screamed as I sunk my mouth down to the root. I was out of control, careless with teeth and scrabbling hands, but Quatre's fingers instantly curled around the back of my head, pushing down as his whole body seemed to channel all movement directly into his hips as he sobbed out a moaning breath and started to stroke his cock along my tongue, leaving bitter trails of salt and sweetness. Duo was gasping next to me, trembling, and I retained enough of myself to stroke my fingertips in-between his spread legs, running up the underside of his burning hot erection and clasping it tight in my hand as I swallowed down pulsing jets of precome.

Brain gone. Possibly forever. Oooh, a vein, pulsing nicely under my tongue and…

Scent of man and men and skin, as Quatre let out a sobbing whimper and flung his legs wide, knee crashing into Duo's and making him hiss…

Cock in hand and mouth, and my own throbbing nicely in the center of me, gut churning as my breath whistled through my nose and stirred the platinum curls I could barely see as my eyes crossed…

And then Quatre jackknifed as my mouth left him for a moment, and I could see all the way down, past his twitching privates to the swollen and stretched center of him, and I was shocked into stillness.

"Come on" he sobbed, breathing high and whispery as every part of him seemed to tremble uncontrollably, both me and Duo silent and motionless as a vision of debauchery almost glared up at us with aquamarine eyes like living flame, and I could hear Duo's swallow click in his throat as he finally understood how far this was going to go. But by this point I was beyond caring, panting as I did a stupid thing and pulled Quatre's thighs over my shoulders in one fluid motion and stabbed my tongue inside him. Y'know, because I honestly didn't know what else to do.

As I said, a stupid thing. Because that's when all hell broke loose.

AN:...yeah, so part 3's still being written. Sorri Sorri Sorri! To all those wonderful people whove reviewed, thanks so much for sticking with me! Hopefully a few more chapters to go and we'll be wrapped up here.


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